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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard View Post
    This is a real relief - me being 19 years old and being treated as an "adult" sucks so dang badly; way too much responcibility!
    Have you even had a job?
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  2. #12
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Yeah, I've been on my own since I was 17 when my mom died and I moved out. I rented a shack with no running water, no phone and no bathroom, but I survived and I think I did okay. I bought my own house when I was 19. Not bad for an anorexic little hillbilly who's brains weren't fully developed. I made my own decisions and for good or bad, I blame nobody else for anything in my life, except me. I and I alone am responsible for my attitudes, choices, thoughts and feelings.

    Sometimes, I would look around me at my classmates with all of their newest gadgets and cars and things their parents bought them and think how soft and easy their lives must have been. But, it's all good. Where I came from has made me who I am and it's certainly taught me to think for myself and to be self-sufficient.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  3. #13
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    Yeah, I've been on my own since I was 17 when my mom died and I moved out. I rented a shack with no running water, no phone and no bathroom, but I survived and I think I did okay. I bought my own house when I was 19. Not bad for an anorexic little hillbilly who's brains weren't fully developed. I made my own decisions and for good or bad, I blame nobody else for anything in my life, except me. I and I alone am responsible for my attitudes, choices, thoughts and feelings.

    Sometimes, I would look around me at my classmates with all of their newest gadgets and cars and things their parents bought them and think how soft and easy their lives must have been. But, it's all good. Where I came from has made me who I am and it's certainly taught me to think for myself and to be self-sufficient.

    Do you think it's fair of you to make assumptions about who bought those things or to conclude that because these people have gadgets their lives must have been "soft and easy"?

  4. #14
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    As the economy stands it won't really matter. A lot of young adults are already stuck in infants losing positions.
    I think there's the socio-economic angle, of course. But there's also the fact that people live longer (on average) than they did even 50 years ago. We also know the brain continues to develop well into the mid-twenties, so there's reason, at least from a purely biological standpoint to say that people are not fully formed adults until 25.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  5. #15
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    No, I don't think it was fair of me to think like that. But, when you're struggling to find a meal and keep a roof over your head, and you see other people your age, acting like children and dating and partying and driving nice cars and having cell phones, you tend to have to work your way through those kinds of thoughts. [I say you but I really mean we, as in human beings] When you're just surviving from day to day, you think funny things that way. What can I say? I'm reformed now.

    My mom used to always say that you can't tell what another person is going through until you live their life and see through their eyes. She was right. Actually, she always said, "You don't know what it's like to be somebody else until you walk a day in their moccasins."

    Now, I realize that nobody's life is perfect.

    Everybody has it rough in their own way.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  6. #16
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    A friend posted this on FB and there was some interesting discussion, with one person saying that, yes, life milestones occur much later now, so in a sense young adults are sort of kept in childhood/adolescence longer. However, in older times, young adults were married, sent to war, and whatnot without as much autonomy. Their older relatives sort of made these major decisions for them.
    I don't think the point of that article is that the timeline is or has changed. It's that there's a recognition that brain development continues through the mid 20s, that people develop at different paces and that we need to recognize that when they are being counseled on psychological issues.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    Yeah, I've been on my own since I was 17 when my mom died and I moved out. I rented a shack with no running water, no phone and no bathroom, but I survived and I think I did okay. I bought my own house when I was 19. Not bad for an anorexic little hillbilly who's brains weren't fully developed. I made my own decisions and for good or bad, I blame nobody else for anything in my life, except me. I and I alone am responsible for my attitudes, choices, thoughts and feelings.

    Sometimes, I would look around me at my classmates with all of their newest gadgets and cars and things their parents bought them and think how soft and easy their lives must have been. But, it's all good. Where I came from has made me who I am and it's certainly taught me to think for myself and to be self-sufficient.
    17 is early to be on your own and that's impressive to get a house when you're 19! I always had a very strong drive to be independent. I could not wait to go to away to college and worked all year round to support my way through it. I covered about 50% of the cost and took out loans to cover about another 15%. My parents made up the difference. I can't think of any decisions my parents made for me at that stage in my life (or helped me to make for that matter). I was on my way towards moving out mentally probably from the beginning of high school. After graduating, I moved out on my own right away and didn't ask for or expect any kind of support. I went for quite a while without much in the way of furniture (a year) because I didn't have the money to buy any. One of my good friends at the time who didn't go to college was on his own at 18. It wasn't until I got older that I realized a lot of people really are not like this. They aren't ready or didn't want to be on their own that fast. Others are dying to leave when they're 18. I did some dumb things back then and know I wasn't fully mature even at 25 but did what I did and somehow things worked out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    My mom used to always say that you can't tell what another person is going through until you live their life and see through their eyes. She was right. Actually, she always said, "You don't know what it's like to be somebody else until you walk a day in their moccasins."

    Now, I realize that nobody's life is perfect.

    Everybody has it rough in their own way.
    Very true

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  7. #17
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I think it's great that we're recognizing what IMO has always seemed obvious: that you're not really done cooking until your mid-twenties. I don't think it means laws or ages of consent/ability to do X/Y/Z will or should change, or even that people can't make any important decisions before they're done cooking. I got married at 22, had a baby at 23, and bought at house at 24, and I wouldn't change any of those decisions now (except I would have bought a different house- this one blows). But as @highlander says it's good to recognize this so that people who need support can get the most appropriate kind for their level of development.

  8. #18
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I don't think the point of that article is that the timeline is or has changed. It's that there's a recognition that brain development continues through the mid 20s, that people develop at different paces and that we need to recognize that when they are being counseled on psychological issues.
    Yes, it was more in response to what someone else had said, about millenials feeling babied or something.
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  9. #19
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Whoo hoo!! That means I just became an adult last year! !!!
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  10. #20
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    Because "adult" people (past mid-twenties, I mean) always make great decisions? Never need or get help from others? Are generally wise? C'mon. Just take a look at the state of the economy we're in (for example), do you think 22 yos led us there?

    Except early childhood when you can't be self sufficient, there is no real separation between the "phases of life".
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