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Are you more self expressive as you're older?

hjgbujhghg

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I've thought, that my self expressive nature and hobby to experiment with my style, clothes, or hair are just a part of me being a teenage girl and I'd grow up from it, but now when I am 20 I am even more self expressive, than when I was 15. I dress things I'd consider as too extreme when I was younger, and I also started to experiment with pretty crazy haircolors, or body piercings... Did this happen to anyone else, or did you grow up from this type of image seeking and self expression?
 

Ene

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Polly,

I do volunteer work at a home for the elderly once a week and self-expression is like most things; it depends on the individual. I will say this, for most people, the older you get, the less you care what others think of you.
 

prplchknz

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Polly,

I do volunteer work at a home for the elderly once a week and self-expression is like most things; it depends on the individual. I will say this, for most people, the older you get, the less you care what others think of you.
yes and it should be pointed out at 20 you're hardly out of the throws of caring what others think of you, at least that's how it was for me.
 

Sunny Ghost

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It seems like more people become more self expressive once out of high school and when they're in their early twenties. You don't have your high school peers to mock you anymore or your parents to get on to you, so there is more of a sense of freedom to figure out who you are. Especially with the identity seeking 4's.

I agree with [MENTION=16382]Ene[/MENTION], that as you continue to get older, the less you'll care what others think of you and the more you'll begin to feel comfortable in your own shoes.

By the time you hit your mid twenties, you should gain a better sense of identity and feel more set in who you are.
 

OrangeAppled

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I started experimenting with my style as a teen. Of course, it was a part of exploring your identity and a natural tendency to pay more attention to your appearance at that age. I just started applying the creativity I had used in drawing & other art as a child to my appearance.

I'm not less experimental now, but I have a more defined style. I know more what suits me and what does not, and a better sense of appropriateness without feeling constricted.

As for emotional expression - I am much more open & expressive with feelings, especially positive ones. I used to be very withdrawn & contained.
 

hjgbujhghg

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I started experimenting with my style as a teen. Of course, it was a part of exploring your identity and a natural tendency to pay more attention to your appearance at that age. I just started applying the creativity I had used in drawing & other art as a child to my appearance.

I'm not less experimental now, but I have a more defined style. I know more what suits me and what does not, and a better sense of appropriateness without feeling constricted.

As for emotional expression - I am much more open & expressive with feelings, especially positive ones. I used to be very withdrawn & contained.
I can relate to your emotional expression. 4s are often desribed as "drama queens", but I am also not very emotionally expressive, I am also more withdrawn & contained.
 
B

brainheart

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I can relate to your emotional expression. 4s are often desribed as "drama queens", but I am also not very emotionally expressive, I am also more withdrawn & contained.

Yeah, I'll never get this. I may strongly voice my opinions but my drama is usually turned inward. My husband last night told me that I'm usually so consistent with my external emotions. I think this is hilarious considering I am constantly exploding inside. It made me realize, though, how much most people probably miss about me. I'm working at getting those emotions out, but it's hard.

I think it would be more accurate to call fours internal drama queens. Also, I think the drama usually comes out through creative expression. I write some pretty dramatic poetry.
 

hjgbujhghg

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Yeah, I'll never get this. I may strongly voice my opinions but my drama is usually turned inward. My husband last night told me that I'm usually so consistent with my external emotions. I think this is hilarious considering I am constantly exploding inside. It made me realize, though, how much most people probably miss about me. I'm working at getting those emotions out, but it's hard.

I think it would be more accurate to call fours internal drama queens. Also, I think the drama usually comes out through creative expression. I write some pretty dramatic poetry.

Me too! While the emotions inside of me are almost always on fire I have my "cool" face. I love writing poetry to get all the emotions outside. It is a great way of expression :)
 

SpankyMcFly

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I will say this, for most people, the older you get, the less you care what others think of you.

Agreed. I think this correlates to your self identity solidifying and generating confidence/esteem.

...consistent with my external emotions. I think this is hilarious considering I am constantly exploding inside.

This really resonated with me. I've gotten way better at releasing the positive energy bursts. I still am working on converting negative energy and redirecting. This energy conversion and expenditure keeps me sane and my mood oscillations within a tighter range. I think this is due to practice/age.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

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Actually, as a teen, I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that my peers hated me and would reject me no matter what I did, so I just dressed however the hell I felt like.

Sometimes, I just sort of wore the same thing twice in a row and neglected myself, but other times I would dress in these sooper-outlandish clothes and robes. (Think "Moammar Qaddafi"--the weird guy who'd wear fancy African robes but never brush his hair and was nearly always in defiance of the rest of the world.) I dyed my hair a lot, purple and red and stuff. Why? Because I could. I wasn't beholden to anyone else's stupid social rules.

In college I was pretty much the same way, but less so. It's just not as much fun if it doesn't offend people's senses of "normal".

As to "emotional expression", I'm not quite sure how to categorize myself. In most group situations, I'm the "shadow on the wall" (in terms of actual interaction), and even 1-to-1, I'm not always a great conversationalist. I don't tend to show enthusiasm, or cry publicly, or whatnot. I consider "emotional displays" (particularly vulnerable emotions) to be embarrassing.

Yet, I am well-known to certain others as being the "mercurial, emotionally honest" one who is melodramatic and starts drama with others. Apparently, I have an "expressive face". You have to get to know me before you see that, though.
 

Galena

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Sometimes, I just sort of wore the same thing twice in a row and neglected myself, but other times I would dress in these sooper-outlandish clothes and robes. (Think "Moammar Qaddafi"--the weird guy who'd wear fancy African robes but never brush his hair and was nearly always in defiance of the rest of the world.)
I had quite a hat collection...:D
 

Animal

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I've been expressive since the day I was born and wore wild outfits since I had the sense to dress myself in my own clothes. My parents did not 'dress me up' wild but they didn't stop me either. I wrote my first 400 page sci-fi/fantasy novel (I wrote 200 page in another post but I found a print-out and it's definitely 400) around age 12, I wrote my first complete song at age 8 and sold my first song to a student show at age 11, and by the time I was 15 I had a whole shelf full of old diaries and notebooks along with half a musical written, a complete novel and parts of others, about 30 original songs, and a very original, expressive wardrobe along with creative hairstyles, like flowers in my hair etc. I was also a straight-A student back then and worked three jobs singing and playing at restaurants, took piano, dance, voice and acting, and was constantly in plays and music competitions; but I still found time to express myself through my outfits and creativity every single day. Kids laughed at me in elem school and downright tortured me in middle school but nothing would make me assimilate.

When I was 16 I got Chronic Lyme Disease and couldn't walk, move, etc. for a long time.. had to give up a lot of things.. lost my voice forever.. spoke in a whisper. After that I became even MORE expressive; practically lived as a symbol of myself. My body was my art. But then, in my later 20s and early 30s, my tastes were more subtle, but still expressive.

Everywhere I've ever lived, my room has been an expression of my mind, my emotions, my artistic preferences, my symbols. That expression evolves as well. There was a time it was darker and more crowded. There was a time you could come in my room and see displays of my own artwork and photos in creative shapes all over the place. Now my aesthetic has evolved to more simple, rustic.. I'm into brown woods, brown leathers, feathers, crystals, nature. If I'm rich one day my house will be woods, leathers & furs, though I only buy from places that are ethical, ie, selling furs & leathers for animals who the state ordered to kill due to overpopulation. Because of my fantasy novel I've learned more about leather-making, fur industry and weaponry, and while I was always into these things, the meaningfulness, symbology (and price) in my taste has expanded.

So in short, I've always been, and always will be, expressive; but my personal sense of expression now is much less flamboyant than it used to be, except on days when I am feeling flamboyant.


As for expressing my emotions plainly - I never had a vocabulary to do this until I studied enneagram last year. All of my emotional self-expression is through art, touch, love-making, moods. I've learned to put it into words now and I feel two ways about this. Part of me thinks that putting my feelings and thoughts into words outside the context of lyrics and writing might take the power and magic away from my creative work, like it would render it less necessary. That being said, having words has helped me think through the insides of some of my fictional characters and made for some different types of insights in my lyrics... so it's a trade-off.
 

Frosty

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Ive actually become a lot less expressive as I have gotten older. But I can say there ar emore factors to that for me than age.
 

PumpkinMayCare

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When we're talking about showing our self-expression through clothes and style, I would say, no. I am not as expressive as I used to be. As a teenager I went wild with my clothes in every possible way. Even before I went to fashion school I liked to wear quite drastic outfits, so it's not like they got me to open up when it comes to fashion. I went from punkish clothes, stuted belts, doc martens, leather jacket, short hair, tons of studed bracelets (? can't find a translation from German to English for this, sorry), to a Visual Kei-style (after I found out about the music existing, I tots loved it - but man, what a crazy style!), to being a cyber goth later (was about 16/17 by then), wore my hair bleached blond, let it grow till it could reach my belt, regurlarly used cyber dreads, mostly in a red colour, when I went out with friends at night, I got myself in a nurse costume or a typical black goth dress with a girdle and my favourite shoes, the 20 centimeter high patent leather platform shoes. Just to give you a bit of an impression how expressive I was with my clothes. Looking back I must've had quite the self-confidence not to care about all the people starring at me, something that used to happen *every time* I went out.

Now, even if I could, I would not wanna wear crazy clothes like this anymore. I'm more of the less is more type nowadays and try to be subtle and not overbearing with accessories and make-up. I'm also not as open about my feelings and emotions anymore. But I am more inclined to add my opinions on certain matters. When I was young I would often keep quiet about certain opinions. So yes and no. In some ways I am now more and less expressive. :newwink:
 

prplchknz

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I've never been outwardly self expressive maybe for a year when I was a teen. I was an emo kid (which should suprise no one) and had hello kitty arm socks (they were black and purple) that i wore every day people thought i was a cutter because of it (I'm not a cutter)
 

Forever

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Yeah. My social teens have come much later.
 
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