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View Poll Results: Is ygolo an aspie? (please consider carefully, serious question)

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Thread: Am I an Aspie?

  1. #21
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I don't know, never interacted you in real life. and so what if you are? I know a few aspies, and they're awesome IMO, but I couldn't diagnose aspenger's from a hole in the wall honestly. I just wanted to reply to your thread, because I like you
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  2. #22
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Unfortunately, even doctors have a really hard time diagnosing Autism. Ask yourself, what would a diagnosis of Autism do for you? Like many have expressed here, we all have our areas of strength and weakness. You are obviously aware and working on improving or compensating for your areas of weakness, which is more than some people can say. I say keep finding resources to help you where you need it. If those resources are coming from publications about Autism, and you find them helpful, then keep using them. If you think a diagnosis would help give you peace of mind or would enable you to be admitted to different social or community groups you think would be helpful, then I say talk to your doctor about your concerns.

    Life with limited pragmatic skills can be tough, but I'm sure you'd math circles around me. Best of luck!
    This is very good advice. As I mentioned before, my husband is probably autistic but at this point a diagnosis wouldn't do much for him- he's spent his first 40 years on the planet realizing he's different from other people and coming up with ways to "pass" as normal.

  3. #23
    Ratchet Ass Moon Fairy Comeback Girl's Avatar
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    Well, I'm in my fourth year of Psychology now and I know this might come across as bragging, but last year I found out I'm pretty good at diagnosing people (or at least, better than 90% of my classmates, but they're idiots who call Asperger's Syndrome 'Asparagus Disease'). However, out of the things that I read here, I'm unable to diagnose Asperger's. If I had to guess what you'd be suffering from, based on what I know and what I'm reading here, I'd rather say you have Avoidant Personality Disorder, maybe comorbid with Social Anxiety Disorder. That means you mostly think you're socially inadequate and you underestimate your social skills, which makes you avoid social situations. I just need more information about you to consider an Asperger's diagnose. However, people with Asperger's often have a typical way of talking and typical body language, so if you really want me to consider it, you could upload a video where you just talk about regular stuff. I could get a long way with that and be more certain about my theory that you don't have Asperger's. You don't need to do it if you don't want to, I understand, but until then I stick with Avoidant Personality Disorder.
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  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Unfortunately, even doctors have a really hard time diagnosing Autism. Ask yourself, what would a diagnosis of Autism do for you? Like many have expressed here, we all have our areas of strength and weakness. You are obviously aware and working on improving or compensating for your areas of weakness, which is more than some people can say. I say keep finding resources to help you where you need it. If those resources are coming from publications about Autism, and you find them helpful, then keep using them. If you think a diagnosis would help give you peace of mind or would enable you to be admitted to different social or community groups you think would be helpful, then I say talk to your doctor about your concerns.

    Life with limited pragmatic skills can be tough, but I'm sure you'd math circles around me. Best of luck!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    This is very good advice. As I mentioned before, my husband is probably autistic but at this point a diagnosis wouldn't do much for him- he's spent his first 40 years on the planet realizing he's different from other people and coming up with ways to "pass" as normal.
    Yeah, that's the approach I had been taking. But the domain of sexuality in particular, which I know is tough for awkward people in general, has been a persistent problem for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Comeback Girl View Post
    Well, I'm in my fourth year of Psychology now and I know this might come across as bragging, but last year I found out I'm pretty good at diagnosing people (or at least, better than 90% of my classmates, but they're idiots who call Asperger's Syndrome 'Asparagus Disease'). However, out of the things that I read here, I'm unable to diagnose Asperger's. If I had to guess what you'd be suffering from, based on what I know and what I'm reading here, I'd rather say you have Avoidant Personality Disorder, maybe comorbid with Social Anxiety Disorder. That means you mostly think you're socially inadequate and you underestimate your social skills, which makes you avoid social situations. I just need more information about you to consider an Asperger's diagnose. However, people with Asperger's often have a typical way of talking and typical body language, so if you really want me to consider it, you could upload a video where you just talk about regular stuff. I could get a long way with that and be more certain about my theory that you don't have Asperger's. You don't need to do it if you don't want to, I understand, but until then I stick with Avoidant Personality Disorder.
    "Avoidant" is not a term I would use for myself. I am more cautious about putting myself out there online than many younger people, though.

    At work, I have been known to be quite out spoken. I've yelled at my boss despite him telling me to calm down, I've sent angry e-mails to the CEO of my own company of 90K people. On pannels and discussions, I am sometimes overly vocal when I think people are wrong. I can be quite insistant about my own view of things despite much effort to see others point of view. Before my recent heartbreak, I was going dancing 4 of the 7 nights of the week. Although, I admit that social situations can cause me anxiety, it mainly because I am not sure what to do, not because I am afraid of people. Also, extremely loud places in social situations stress me out a lot more than less loud places. I usually bring ear plugs when I know in advance.

    So far, the people who voted seem to believe I am not an Aspie, but I have found many of the reasons given are fairly dubious:
    1) Many of the high functioning folks do not in fact get recognized till late in life, often when their children are suspected to have Autistic tendencies. Not just @Ivy's husband, but there are many videos on the AutismSpeaks and ASA websites that talk about these stories.
    2) It seems like there are many many of those on the spectrum who do seek to improve and find ways to compensate, and do care about fitting in (see video on sub-types below).
    3) I don't believe it is inherently bad to be on the spectrum. There are problems, and there are gifts. I would not like the stigma. But if there are resources that help, then I can use them. I am weighing the pro's and con's of the labels. If they are rather inaccurate labels, I think it would be unlikely to helpful. I suppose if there are support groups without requiring labels, that would be better.

    I made this when I still had an interest in typology. If you want to do TinyChat, I would be willing. But right now, this is the most "face" I am willing to post (semi)permanently online:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWGNBuAqK-8

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8j80S3KOA4


    Here is an Aspie for comparison, she is talking about "sub types":
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-Z4iqrezAU

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9q1WgOhR24


    Also, apparently as a toddler, I would spend a lot of time lining up objects and I used to throw temper tantrums when people messed up my patterns (my aunt had a recording). Actually, even as a teenager, I would get upset if a project I was working (that others may not have recognized as project) was messed up. I think part of the reason I do not get as upset now, is that I've gotten much better at convincing people of what I believe. My dad also tended to complain that I did not interact with the other kids enough on the playground.

    For a long time, people used to tell me that I "didn't react," and they found this annoying. I now have a routine, of head nodding, and asking follow up questions. To be honest, I approach much of the social situations as if I were running an object oriented program with polymorphism built in. 1) Acknowledge and/or reflect emotion ("That sucks" or "That's awesome" depending on positive or negative. If not sure, ask. "Did that hurt?", "That must have been gratifying, huh?"--also, I know I can leave off the "huh"). 2) Relate experience that seems similar to what has been talked about. 3) Interject jokes when I see or hear a "trigger". (Though I do this less often now, because that has gotten me in trouble. Also, I have a trigger suppression list that "decorates" my natural automatic responses.)

    Former roommates have complained that I did the "staring" thing. Others have told me that I don't make enough eye contact. Frankly, I am still experimenting with frequency and timing of eye-contact. I also was taught this little trick..."if you look at someone in the eye brows or forehead, they will think that you are making eye contact." So now, it really is just a matter of experimenting till I find a pattern that works.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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  5. #25
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    I would recommend some kind of community organization or group where you can connect with other people who have experienced these problems and share ideas on how to manage. That'll probably help you feel supported and encouraged in your efforts too, which is always important. Social situations can be awkward for ALL of us. It sounds like you're doing a great job, though! I'm a speech-language therapist, so I've worked with students with Autism at various ages (through high school) and at very different places on the spectrum. I had one high-functioning student with Autsim who was seriously one of the coolest, smartest young people I've ever had. He always got jokes that were over most kids' heads and was very inquisitive and delightful. You're using a very refined and sophisticated version of what we teach as far as social skills, and you're executing it in a systematic way that works for you. Just know that there are plenty of women in this world who will love you for exactly who you are, and you're doing all the right things to meet her and connect with her.
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  6. #26

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    Thank you for the encouragement.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  7. #27
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Unless a psychologist/psychiatrist has actually told you this, I would be skeptical. Some people interpret any intellectual and socially awkward male as an aspie/autistic person, but I doubt this. Aspergers means more than being socially awkward, and doesn't even necessarily mean someone is intellectual.


    There are other disorders that can cause social awkwardness, so it may be possible that you have one of those. Introversion + ADHD is one example. Truthfully, I lack the sensitivity sensory stimuli for Aspergers to make sense at all. Not being sensitive to sensory stimuli can cause some of the same problems as being too sensitive to it.
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  8. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    Unless a psychologist/psychiatrist has actually told you this, I would be skeptical. Some people interpret any intellectual and socially awkward male as an aspie/autistic person, but I doubt this. Aspergers means more than being socially awkward, and doesn't even necessarily mean someone is intellectual.

    There are other disorders that can cause social awkwardness, so you may have one of those. Introversion + ADHD is one example. Truthfully, I lack the sensitivity sensory stimuli for Aspergers to make sense at all. Not being sensitive to sensory stimuli can cause some of the same problems as being too sensitive to it.
    It was a psychologist who told me to check it out. I purposely mis reported back to him.

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    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  9. #29
    Ratchet Ass Moon Fairy Comeback Girl's Avatar
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    Avoidant Personality Disorder is NOT about avoiding people because you're scared of them, but about feeling inadequate, inferior or undesirable in some sort of way. These feelings cause you to get anxious in social situations or even avoid them. I can't judge if you actually have any trouble in social situations, so as I didn't have much else to judge from than the things you wrote here, I got the idea that the socially awkwardness you mentioned could just be inside your head. Maybe people just told you you that you're socially awkward and you started believing them, which made you feel socially inadequate and insecure and actually CAUSED future social awkward behavior. It happens all the time! I'm not sure if I should count the examples you gave of your 'Asperger-ish' behavior as signs that you have Asperger's. Toddlers are quirky! If a toddler likes lining up objects, it doesn't necessarily mean they have Asperger's. It could be a sign they're just conscientious. Teenagers get upset a lot! If a teenager gets upset that one of their projects get messed up, it doesn't necessarily mean they have Asperger's. If they're more upset than others, it could be a sign they're more neurotic. And not interacting with other kids can have lots of reasons, not just Asperger's, but also introversion, social anxiety, feeling insecure, I can go on like this. I know another person who did something comparable to the time you sent that angry e-mail about your boss to 90K people - he had ADHD!

    I personally know a disturbing amount of people who were misdiagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. As far as I've spoken to these people who were misdiagnosed, they just THOUGHT they were socially inadequate (which made them start acting more socially awkward) because of dysfunctional upbringing, bullying, abuse or other traumas. The thing is they WEREN'T, but they were so convinced of the fact that they were and they were so insecure about their social skills, that this made people around them believe they in fact had something autism-like - like Asperger's. Anyway, I couldn't really do a lot with your video because I couldn't see your facial expression. However, when I listen to your voice and I assume you were indeed very much into typology back then, I don't hear much Asperger's in your voice. Most people I've met with Asperger's talk really fast and excited when they're talking about a subject they're passionate about and they just go on and on and on about all these little, sometimes insignificant details and... you don't. Maybe it's the wrong subject, I don't know, but I couldn't do much with it.
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  10. #30

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    I suppose a lot of this is chicken and egg. I believe that it was due to repeated bad results in social situations that I feel inadequate in many of them. You believe that it is my feeling inadequate that makes me get bad results.

    But I should say, once I "figure out" a particular class of social situations, it doesn't cause me any anxiety. You could drop me in front of a class of students and I don't feel anxious. I sometimes get a little frustrated, and sometimes don't want to forget to tell them something that can lead to them hurting themselves.

    I have a hard time believing "avoidant personality" is a good fit at all. I know you believe that you are good at diagnosing people, and perhaps that makes you stick to your first guess. I am little shy at times, but it is because of prior experience of bad results.

    The number of women that I've pursed romantic intentions with number well into the thousands. I believe this is more than average for someone my age.

    I am not trying to get an Asperger's Diagnosis, but Avoidant surprised me. Perhaps I should look more into this. But, even as a child, I don't think I was avoidant. One time, I was unexpectantly asked to read a story I wrote in front of the whole school (I was 5 or something). Except I didn't know (or forgot). Confused, I walked up on the stage and just made up another one. There was no anxiety, though plenty of confusion. I got more anxious as I got older.

    I got bad social results which then lead to insecurity. Not the other way around.

    Edit: Also, my e-mail to my CEO was not about my boss. It was also not a one time thing. I complained about a whole litany of things.

    Edit 2: I was also losing interest in typology already. It was two years in, and I had felt I had learned almost all I could of value, and beginning to believe a lot of it was BS. I thought Temperament and Interaction Styles at least had more of an empirical basis.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

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