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  1. #61
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    that interesting, it's the chicken or egg thing. I had my first true hallucination when i was 10 or 11 (saw the virgin mary, she told me to come to her, convinced it was actually the devil i ran the other way) and was having peripheals well before than and extreme paranoia to the point i wouldn't sleep. but i didn't smoke until i was 15 did i get worse naturally, or did me smoking make me worse???
    The chapter on schizophrenia in, "The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind", by Julian Jaynes may interest you. Here is a taste -

    Most of us spontaneously slip back into something approach-ing the actual bicameral mind at some part of our lives. For some of us, it is only a few episodes of thought deprivation or hearing voices. But for others of us, with overactive dopamine systems, or lacking an enzyme to easily break down the biochemical products of continued stress into excretable form, it is a much more harrowing experience — if it can be called an experience at all. We hear voices of impelling importance that criticize us and tell us what to do. At the same time, we seem to lose the boundaries of ourselves. Time crumbles. We behave without knowing it. Our mental space begins to vanish. We panic, and yet the panic is not happening to us. There is no us. It is not that we have nowhere to turn; we have nowhere. And in that no-where, we are somehow automatons, unknowing what we do, being manipulated by others or by our voices in strange and frightening ways in a place we come to recognize as a hospital with a diagnosis we are told is schizophrenia. In reality, we have relapsed into the bicameral mind.

  2. #62
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    cons of smoking for me personally
    -small psychotic breaks that are more intense than the ones I have naturally
    -fuzzy for the week after
    -meds might not work aswell
    -higher chance of going in patient
    -enjoy music more clean and sober
    -more creative clean and sober
    -my thinking is clearer, and i can actually solve semi-hard word puzzles when not smoking (of course my meds need to be working as well, shush this isn't about that)
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  3. #63
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    ^ well, there you go, there's your answer. Well done.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #64
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    ^ well, there you go, there's your answer. Well done.
    I hate when my own conclusions, go against what I want
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #65
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Tell again why you want so much to be able to smoke pot? If it's because that's what you think everybody else is doing, they're not. If everybody else around you is doing that, you need to find more edifying company, srsly.

  6. #66
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    What if my meds were working 100% and there was no chance of it intermingling with them, then could i?
    I don't know your diagnosis. I was diagnosed bipolar at 22. Right at the height of when you go through that party phase of life. For me, I couldn't. In order for me to get better I had to stop drinking (1 or 2 drinks would have adverse affects. I did no other recreational drugs.

    I was on medication for 10 years after I wanted to get off them. With my doctors help and approval, I weened off of them.

    Trust me, the first 2-3 years of medication are crucial. You should not be doing anything else but trying to find the meds that work for you. It takes time and trials. Other drugs recreationally may be harmful to your sanity and make it impossible to stabilize.

    Your stability should be first priority.

    Can you re-visit this later? Perhaps. You have to always self-monitor and you cannot do that without knowing how you are when you are JUST on your meds. That way, you can trust yourself.

    After 2 years and being on the right meds I could have a drink or two. It affected my differently- More normal - because I gave my brain a chance to become accustomed to the meds.

    But this is common sense : if you are reacting badly to any drug - prescribed or otherwise - make changes to your meds with doctor consent. Some people can't smoke pot. I think you may be one of them. And that's okay.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  7. #67
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I'm glad that most of the people in this thread have given you firm no's. I agree with them, especially with kyuuei's insight that no one who cares about your wellbeing would tell you yes.

    I hope you know that I care very much about your wellbeing. And I'm not against pot in general, but I am very much against it for you. I really do get that you're sort of grieving right now, in your recovery, the loss of the idea that you can be neurotypical. But not being neurotypical is not necessarily a whole bad thing, if you deal with it responsibly, which you have been for however many months now. You're one of the most creative people I have ever met- and you've retained that creativity through your recovery, which is huge. I really want that to continue.

    Prpl, you are doing SO GREAT lately. And I know that you get a lot of support here, and I for one am always glad to give it, and hope that you don't get fed up with my tendency for "mama bear"-ing you. But I would also encourage you to take these kinds of questions to your care team instead of to the forum at large- not everyone here has your best interests in mind and many don't know your situation well enough. But most of all, nobody on this forum, me included, is qualified to make a sound recommendation for you.

  8. #68
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Tell again why you want so much to be able to smoke pot? If it's because that's what you think everybody else is doing, they're not. If everybody else around you is doing that, you need to find more edifying company, srsly.
    actually no one i hang around with smokes pot. because i mis the party life style.not really, the further i get from the less i miss it
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  9. #69
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I'm glad that most of the people in this thread have given you firm no's. I agree with them, especially with kyuuei's insight that no one who cares about your wellbeing would tell you yes.

    I hope you know that I care very much about your wellbeing. And I'm not against pot in general, but I am very much against it for you. I really do get that you're sort of grieving right now, in your recovery, the loss of the idea that you can be neurotypical. But not being neurotypical is not necessarily a whole bad thing, if you deal with it responsibly, which you have been for however many months now. You're one of the most creative people I have ever met- and you've retained that creativity through your recovery, which is huge. I really want that to continue.

    Prpl, you are doing SO GREAT lately. And I know that you get a lot of support here, and I for one am always glad to give it, and hope that you don't get fed up with my tendency for "mama bear"-ing you. But I would also encourage you to take these kinds of questions to your care team instead of to the forum at large- not everyone here has your best interests in mind and many don't know your situation well enough. But most of all, nobody on this forum, me included, is qualified to make a sound recommendation for you.
    my family including my brother who is pro legalize weed says no weed for me. and close friends say no, so i'd have to meet some seedy people, cuz i always manage to get people who care about me in my life. I don't know why i want to be able to smoke weed so bad, especially considering how it treats me. Than again if i had an SO that abused me I'd probably keep crawling back, because i'd look at the situation through rose colored glasses. I like the fact that I am more creative than i have been in years, and more rational than i was for years. I'm not perfect i still make dumb dangerous decisions on occasion.and my care team would say no, even if i was neurotypical, but if i was i'd never had gotten on meds and than told to take meds i hated and than took myself off them, than felt instable and did drugs and drink to feel normal/stable. so basically if i was neurotypical i wouldn't be in this mess.

    I also feel sick when people pretend to be weird or under the delusion of being weird when 95% of earth is like that. I don't like being weird, maybe it's a 4 trait. but when you sometimes have trouble with reality its more of a hinderance than a blessing. It gets old I've been sitting in cars unsure if a conversations were going on or not. you know I don't need to do drugs, I have enough "trippy" stuff happen without drugs. I haven't done shrooms since highschool and I thought I was turning into a drag queen, cuz i didn't recognize my face for a day or 2 when i looked into the mirror. I thought it had morphed.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #70
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    So my solution is to smoke on the weekends, but what if i don't come back one time?
    Then you're fucked. With no one to blame but yourself, I guess.

    /white people's problems
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

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