Does Facebook help or hinder your effort to connect with others in a meaningful way?

[EJCC]

What's wrong with email?

- Harder to include others
- Would clutter my already-cluttered inbox
- Wouldn't be invited to anything
- Takes more mental energy; email etiquette is much more formal than Facebook in my experience
- Facebook has profiles you can go off of; places where you can quickly and easily see how people interact with others, what their interests are, what their priorities are, how they use Facebook. Email starts you from scratch and makes for LOTS of small talk to get the exact same information

The first reason is the main one; even when you do mass emailing, it feels much more individualized. When used well, Facebook wall conversations/private message conversations can flow exactly like group discussions (in person or on a forum). From my experience, email can't even come close to replicating that.

Also I am curious to the answer to [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION]'s question -- since IME Facebook's privacy settings are very easy to figure out, and very reliable when you get them right and when you learn to expect revision.

Well, my post was focusing more on a macro level than a micro level, but that's great it's a net-positive for you. The nature of the medium is one that both enables and encourages mass accumulation of users, so explicitly that they're constantly trying to link you together with other users using the most vague and trivial of criteria to establish a pseudo-connection between users(Hello X, We'll recommend Y as a friend. You and him just so happened to have pissed in the same airport urinal 7 years ago on your trip to Delaware).

In fairness, it's more like "you and this dude have a shit ton of mutual friends, so you probably know him" -- which is very often the case. I agree when it's only like one mutual friend and you're thinking "why the hell are they recommending some random dude from Jordan to me?"

I never understood people who have a lot of Facebook friends they MET on Facebook and never spoke to irl -- because as I understand it (and I'd like to think I understand it well), that's not the point of Facebook.

Your experience is a result of a desire to connect to a subset of individuals; I imagine there's a concerted amount of effort on your end to establish said connection, and would have a greater likelihood of persisting in a cross-medium platform with the people you've chosen to friend, than, say, the person who has accumulated 700+ friends.

I suppose you're right. From my perspective, it's a lot easier than maintaining that connection via email or near-constant texting -- but maybe it's different for others.

 

[Stigmata]

Which, speaking of, I think is the direction social media ought to evolve - a way to improve contact with people who are meaningful to you - but unfortunately I don't think that's where the big bucks are.

That's certainly a very romanticized viewpoint, and in theory, would be great. Yet the goal of these sites is to accumulate as many users as possible, get them hooked on your product, then make tons from ad revenue and implement some type of incentives system conducive to micro-transactions.

 

[Stigmata]

I never understood people who have a lot of Facebook friends they MET on Facebook and never spoke to irl -- because as I understand it (and I'd like to think I understand it well), that's not the point of Facebook.

Seems to me that's exactly the point of Facebook. Why provide a platform simply to facilitate your user base off of it (hence, playing games with friends incorporated into the website, aka, we'll provide you with everything you need to make your browsing experience more enjoyable and engaging, insofar as you don't leave until your ass and computer chair have started to fuse together)?

 

[EJCC]

Seems to me that's exactly the point of Facebook. Why provide a platform simply to facilitate your user base off of it (hence, playing games with friends incorporated into the website, aka, we'll provide you with everything you need to make your browsing experience more enjoyable and engaging, insofar as you don't leave until your ass and computer chair have started to fuse together)?

Nitpicky response: As I understand it, the point of social gaming is to peer-pressure you into playing competitively. That isn't going to work if you have no idea who that person is, and accepted their friend request even when you didn't know them. It's name recognition that gets you invested.

General response: In fairness, maybe I have sort of an old-person attitude towards it (at age 22, lol). Maybe teenagers and younger college kids view it differently. But I use it for not only the reasons that I listed, but for reasons you'd associate with people long since out of school, who want to keep contact with old friends from school or friends that moved away to settle down elsewhere.

 

[skylights]

That's certainly a very romanticized viewpoint, and in theory, would be great. Yet the goal of these sites is to accumulate as many users as possible, get them hooked on your product, then make tons from ad revenue and implement some type of incentives system conducive to micro-transactions.

Yeah, exactly. I hate how Facebook is starting to get infiltrated with stupid money-sucking game requests and shit advertisement "Suggested Posts" and other soulless commercial filler.

I figure it'll implode eventually and give way to a new fad social site.

 

[Mole]

After 12,000+ posts, has your well-being been undermined? Confess your sins, my son.
As for Facebook, someone ought to take a flamethrower to it.

I am too close to know whether Central enhances my well-being.

And as they say, the closer you are the less you see.

So i don't know.

 

[jixmixfix]

Facebook is used to spy on each other because we have become to compititive with each other we have to see what others are doing in order to keep up. The internet is a terrible means of communication since most communication is done through our body language not our words.

 

[EJCC]

Didn't used to think this was type-related, but what I'm getting out of this thread so far is:

Social last: resents Facebook and either doesn't participate or gets very little out of it
Social first: If a participant, gets something meaningful out of Facebook and recognizes it

Obviously the above is not a hard-and-fast rule, nor is it even a theory to try and prove, but the trend does make sense; when I was responding to Coriolis regarding Facebook's advantages over email etc, most of those advantages related to social dynamics and group communication, which would not really be natural priorities for sx/sp or sp/sx.

 

[Coriolis]

What are the specific things that make you uncomfortable from a privacy perspective? What's the real risk?

I'm surprised I need to enumerate the privacy issues with Facebook, when they have been the subject of so much public discourse in the past couple of years. Just the fact that privacy settings keep changing is a cause for concern. It almost seems that Facebook is hoping to wear down their users, hoping they will slip up the next time they must update them, and forget to close some door, letting information leak out.

Facebook tracks what people shop for and buy, and sucks in personal information through its apps and games. Then there is the geolocation aspect for mobile users. Yes, you can shut these off for yourself, but can still be compromised through "friends" who have not. We really don't know what Facebook does with all the information posted, even the private messages. We don't even know if they adhere to their own policies (if I recall, there was a significant episode a year or two ago when they were caught not doing so). Users must simply trust that they so do.

Then there is always the possibility of government snooping, either with court permission, or without. Finally, I hear more and more about employers using information on Facebook in evaluating employees or job applicants. This isn't limited to looking at someone's public profile, which more people at least are limiting; they sometimes require people to log into their accounts and let them snoop at everything.

The real risk is that people will get information about me that I did not choose for them to have, and by extension that they will use it in ways that are not in my best interests. The bottom line is that the only way to make sure information is protected is not to put it out there.

People who use Facebook either don't care about all of this, or consider that the risks are worth the benefit. Whether due to being SO last or some other reason, [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] is correct in that I see little benefit. My electronic communication is targeted and focused. I prefer to contact friends and associates individually, or in small situational groups (e.g. invitees to a certain event, or participants in a certain activity) for which I can make distribution lists. I have no intrest in blanket sharing of the minutiae of my day (or reading the same from others), and the more important pieces of information are for specific people only.

 

[WALMART]

I only put into it what I want others to get out of it.

Usually entails stupid random thoughts that spring up in my mind or sharing good music I'm vibing to.

 

[highlander]

I'm surprised I need to enumerate the privacy issues with Facebook, when they have been the subject of so much public discourse in the past couple of years. Just the fact that privacy settings keep changing is a cause for concern. It almost seems that Facebook is hoping to wear down their users, hoping they will slip up the next time they must update them, and forget to close some door, letting information leak out.

Facebook tracks what people shop for and buy, and sucks in personal information through its apps and games. Then there is the geolocation aspect for mobile users. Yes, you can shut these off for yourself, but can still be compromised through "friends" who have not. We really don't know what Facebook does with all the information posted, even the private messages. We don't even know if they adhere to their own policies (if I recall, there was a significant episode a year or two ago when they were caught not doing so). Users must simply trust that they so do.

Then there is always the possibility of government snooping, either with court permission, or without. Finally, I hear more and more about employers using information on Facebook in evaluating employees or job applicants. This isn't limited to looking at someone's public profile, which more people at least are limiting; they sometimes require people to log into their accounts and let them snoop at everything.

The real risk is that people will get information about me that I did not choose for them to have, and by extension that they will use it in ways that are not in my best interests. The bottom line is that the only way to make sure information is protected is not to put it out there.

People who use Facebook either don't care about all of this, or consider that the risks are worth the benefit. Whether due to being SO last or some other reason, [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] is correct in that I see little benefit. My electronic communication is targeted and focused. I prefer to contact friends and associates individually, or in small situational groups (e.g. invitees to a certain event, or participants in a certain activity) for which I can make distribution lists. I have no intrest in blanket sharing of the minutiae of my day (or reading the same from others), and the more important pieces of information are for specific people only.

There are some things to be aware of. Generally you share what you want. I always say no to anything that asks for permission to access my stuff. I don't play games. I don't allow people to tag me.

You should try it. Just dabble a bit - and you'll see it isn't quite as bad as you think.

 

[xisnotx]

Not really.

It's why I deleted it.

 

[skylights]

Finally, I hear more and more about employers using information on Facebook in evaluating employees or job applicants. This isn't limited to looking at someone's public profile, which more people at least are limiting; they sometimes require people to log into their accounts and let them snoop at everything.

The real risk is that people will get information about me that I did not choose for them to have, and by extension that they will use it in ways that are not in my best interests. The bottom line is that the only way to make sure information is protected is not to put it out there.

Yes. I was a member of the PR department of my sorority in college, and one duty of my office was to keep an eye out on people's Facebook profiles. It may seem intrusive and snobbish, but I thought in truth it was a fair reality check. No one really needs photos of themselves, underage, guzzling beer on Facebook.

Myself, I use Facebook frequently, but there's nothing I do on there that the world couldn't see. If someone really wants to go through all 500 something of my photos, or even my private messages, they can go for it. I generally assume that everywhere on the internet.

My only real fear/abhorrence would be if someone linked my anonymous accounts (like this one) to my personal accounts (like Facebook). I enjoy my relative anonymity here.

 

[EJCC]

There are some things to be aware of. Generally you share what you want. I always say no to anything that asks for permission to access my stuff. I don't play games. I don't allow people to tag me.

You should try it. Just dabble a bit - and you'll see it isn't quite as bad as you think.

+1

 

[Coriolis]

There are some things to be aware of. Generally you share what you want. I always say no to anything that asks for permission to access my stuff. I don't play games. I don't allow people to tag me.

You should try it. Just dabble a bit - and you'll see it isn't quite as bad as you think.

If there were something that Facebook would allow me to do that I cannot do now, or cannot do as well now, I would consider it. Until then, it is a clear cost/benefit fail.

 

[prplchknz]

I like facebook, I like reading people's thoughts, articles they link, and its my way of keeping up with what people are interested in. which piques my curiosity. now sometimes i roll my eyes at some posts. but i do that here as well. also you do get what you put into and the people you friend

 

[garbage]

Neither. I'm not going to meet new people via Facebook, so everyone I'm 'friends' with are those I already know on some level or through some other means. Thus, I already know whether we can establish meaningful relationships with one another or not.

I'm not exactly interested in learning little tidbits about acquaintances, especially those who post only tidbits, so many of my 'friends' are hidden from my feed. As a rule, I don't bother to remove people; and sometimes I have questions that even they can help answer from time to time. Moreover, I have virtually nothing personal on my profile, as those who should know that information already know it.

 

[Ginkgo]

I only put into it what I want others to get out of it.

Usually entails stupid random thoughts that spring up in my mind or sharing good music I'm vibing to.

I like this technique.

 

[Ponyboy]

Absolutely helps.

In fact, I think I am at the point where I check FB even before I check regular e-mail. Some of the ways I can think of (right off hand) that it helps connect:

Work- I am friends with the people I need to communicate with (I know, I know...don't do that!), some of them don't like phoning, some don't like emailing, some don't text. Facebook seems to be a mutual agreement.

Friends- I have a lot of friends who live not far away but far enough that frequent visits, due to family, work, commitments, etc., are not possible/convenient.

I created a page for the ship I was on in the Navy and have found many people that I WANTED to find. There's about 300 in the group and while I don't know all or most of them the communication is fun as we can compare different eras.

I play in a dart league and the FB group for it is a much more efficient way for everyone to talk as opposed to the officials calling area reps who in turn have to call team captains who in turn have to call team members and so on.

Like other people have said, you get out of it what you put into it. I also think that some are just going on reputation. I have far, far, far more friends who are "pity-party, feel sorry for me" types than "look how awesome my life is" types. Maybe that's just my friend group but I don't believe I have found the only people who do that. The only time things really piss me off is during Political Seasons. I have found that people can be vile, disgusting human beings with some of the stuff they post. The worst part is that most of what they "say" is just shared shit that someone else created. Whenever I asked them what they would do or how they would change things they will ignore me at best, hurl around insults at worst, without ever giving an answer from their own mind.

As far as the privacy issues go, I have no idea what my settings are even set to. I don't care either. There is nothing I would post on there that I wouldn't say to anyone in person. As a matter of fact, I think that is why I prefer Facebook to most other online mediums.....because it is ME !

 

[Giggly]

Meaningful to me would be in person.