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View Poll Results: Does Facebook help or hinder your effort to connect with others in a meaningful way?

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  • Facebook helps me connect with others in a meaningful way

    17 50.00%
  • Facebook hinders me from connect with others in a meaningful way

    6 17.65%
  • Facebook does not seem to help or hinder my efforts to connect with others in a meaningful way

    11 32.35%
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  1. #11
    Senior Member Snoopy22's Avatar
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    It helps in that it allows me to keep up on what family members are up to, and to be in limited touch with old Navy buddies. Along with being able to limit any view to only friends (minus the NSA), keeps it pleasant to me.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Stigmata's Avatar
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    To me, Facebook (and most social media outlets) serve to dilute the inherent foundations of interpersonal relationships. Even on this site, "Friend" is nothing but a grandiose term for what is essentially "Hey, your posts resonate with me on some level."

    Maybe the connotation of a Friend has changed, or maybe I'm attributing too much value behind what is essentially terminological semantics.

  3. #13
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    To be honest it seems like more of a time sink that neither helps nor hinders my relationships.

    The efforts I've made to connect with others meaningfully through facebook could have been better spent texting, even.

    I think that seeing peoples' positive status updates, scenic vacation shots, and photos with family/friends holds the potential to seriously depress a facebook user the more they just sit there in the glow of an incandescent laptop screen. In that sense, it can practically distance you from other people. Especially considering the fact that facebook only reflects one side of your character.

    There happens to be 2 facebook accounts in my name - one that I lost access to a couple years ago. When I look at my old one, I look very happy and energetic. However, IIRC, I felt far more anxious and annoyed than anything. If there's such a large chasm between what people present on facebook and how they actually are, then the amount of you that gets lost in the ether is comparable to what gets lost on a forum like this. Probably even more so.

  4. #14
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Helps. Definitely helps. And for so many reasons!

    Just a few:

    1) I can maintain regular contact with close friends who are far away and/or don't do a lot of texting and/or HATE texting

    2) A conversation that we had in person can continue for hours, or even days, online

    3) Distant friends come out of the woodwork to comment on my posts, and I can do the same for others, which obviously brings us much closer -- plus, it's much less awkward than initiating via phone/email

    4) I get invited to events that people create on Facebook and wouldn't even consider texting or emailing about

    5) When people are forthcoming on Facebook, you can learn a LOT about them -- and when you yourself are forthcoming on Facebook, it's much less of an emotional drain than if you updated everyone separately, which by nature means you can stay closer to people and become closer to even more, without it being a hassle
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
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  5. #15
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Facebook has had a net positive effect for me- I can stay connected with people I care about but who live too far away to see regularly. Also, because of Facebook, people can know that I love them even though I don't want to see them or talk to them all the damn time.

    Maybe it's partly because I don't friend people who do that humblebrag thing. And maybe it's because it's not my only means of connection- it's a way to maintain connection when face-to-face isn't possible, and also a way to arrange face-to-face connections with people I care about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmata View Post
    To me, Facebook (and most social media outlets) serve to dilute the inherent foundations of interpersonal relationships. Even on this site, "Friend" is nothing but a grandiose term for what is essentially "Hey, your posts resonate with me on some level."

    Maybe the connotation of a Friend has changed, or maybe I'm attributing too much value behind what is essentially terminological semantics.
    Maybe people who have a ton of Facebook friends are like that -- but I'm not, and most of my friends aren't. Everyone I'm Facebook friends with, is either a friendly acquaintance (who I wouldn't mind being closer friends with), or a friend, or a family member.
    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    The key word in the poll is "meaningful".

    It does help me to keep up with what's going on in other's lives but there isn't a lot of depth there. Still, it helps to facilitate a continued connection even if it's pretty superficial.
    Very good point.

    In my case, it is most useful for just that -- maintaining a strong connection -- and also useful for bringing someone from a friendly acquaintance to a shallow-ish friend. Going deeper than that would be for texting, emailing, and Real Life.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  6. #16
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Helps with long distance friendships and family only. Everything else is moot, I just like stalking old acquaintances to see what they're up to.

    I only friend people who I actually know or have known to a friendly degree IRL.

  7. #17
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    As for Facebook, someone ought to take a flamethrower to it.
    Yes, that and Microsoft.

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    The key word in the poll is "meaningful".

    It does help me to keep up with what's going on in other's lives but there isn't a lot of depth there. Still, it helps to facilitate a continued connection even if it's pretty superficial.
    Yes. That and the privacy risks have kept me off it so far, and I see little reason to join in future.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Helps. Definitely helps. And for so many reasons!

    Just a few:

    1) I can maintain regular contact with close friends who are far away and/or don't do a lot of texting and/or HATE texting

    2) A conversation that we had in person can continue for hours, or even days, online

    3) Distant friends come out of the woodwork to comment on my posts, and I can do the same for others, which obviously brings us much closer -- plus, it's much less awkward than initiating via phone/email

    4) I get invited to events that people create on Facebook and wouldn't even consider texting or emailing about

    5) When people are forthcoming on Facebook, you can learn a LOT about them -- and when you yourself are forthcoming on Facebook, it's much less of an emotional drain than if you updated everyone separately, which by nature means you can stay closer to people and become closer to even more, without it being a hassle
    What's wrong with email?
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  8. #18
    Senior Member Stigmata's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Maybe people who have a ton of Facebook friends are like that -- but I'm not, and most of my friends aren't. Everyone I'm Facebook friends with, is either a friendly acquaintance (who I wouldn't mind being closer friends with), or a friend, or a family member.
    Well, my post was focusing more on a macro level than a micro level, but that's great it's a net-positive for you. The nature of the medium is one that both enables and encourages mass accumulation of users, so explicitly that they're constantly trying to link you together with other users using the most vague and trivial of criteria to establish a pseudo-connection between users(Hello X, We'll recommend Y as a friend. You and him just so happened to have pissed in the same airport urinal 7 years ago on your trip to Delaware).

    Your experience is a result of a desire to connect to a subset of individuals; I imagine there's a concerted amount of effort on your end to establish said connection, and would have a greater likelihood of persisting in a cross-medium platform with the people you've chosen to friend, than, say, the person who has accumulated 700+ friends.

  9. #19
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Yes. That and the privacy risks have kept me off it so far, and I see little reason to join in future.
    What are the specific things that make you uncomfortable from a privacy perspective? What's the real risk?

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  10. #20
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmata View Post
    Your experience is a result of a desire to connect to a subset of individuals; I imagine there's a concerted amount of effort on your end to establish said connection, and would have a greater likelihood of persisting in a cross-medium platform with the people you've chosen to friend, than, say, the person who has accumulated 700+ friends.
    Which, speaking of, I think is the direction social media ought to evolve - a way to improve contact with people who are meaningful to you - but unfortunately I don't think that's where the big bucks are.

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