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  1. #11
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    There's a whole thread here: Dario Nardi's Neuroscience of Personality. There's also a NeuroPQ tes which tries to get at strengths related to brain regions, but it's pretty subjective.

    As far as learning empathy: I wouldn't be surprised if there were critical development periods of some kind, but it does seem like aspects can be learned later in life by many.

    @Inari Love, that sounds like a fair amount of 7-ish self-awareness. Often 7s have no conscious idea that they have difficulty being empathetic about (or experiencing their own) emotional pain. I salute you making efforts in that direction. Experiencing the negative tends to feel overwhelming for 7s.
    Yea I agree it's very 7 ish.

    Almost everyday I am looking through the 6 and 7 descriptions to try an tell which one's my dominant.

    I still believe it's 6...

    However my 7 tendencies are VERY strong.

    I think it's the difference between having a thinking function first vs having a feeling function first.

    Te has a take no prisoners attitude...I think enhances the 7.

    I have to reign in my Te a lot, especially at work.

    I have to remind myself that not everyone holds a strong value in efficiency.

    And in efficiency there's no room for emotions getting in the way of the end result.

    In other words...I've come a loooooong way ha ha.

    I'm going to take a gander at those threads
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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  2. #12

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    I think people can learn anything with the right motivation, although I think that for some people they could be learning a sembalence or performance of empathy and it will not ever be a natural inclination or outward reflection of an inward drive. It could a kind of coping strategy or habituation, in the same way that individuals who have other personality or physical traits that they learn to cope with, for instance covering up if they cant read to a certain standard.

    In most people, who are not part of the small population of sociopaths or psychopaths in the species, I believe that there are innate drives to relating, sociability, love and connectedness but when these are blocked, for different reasons, they translate into cruelty, controlling behaviour, sadomasochism, all sorts of ill shit.

    The problem in these instances isnt always a lack of empathy, or unlearned empathy, but blocked empathy, which has become perverted and transformed into said ill shit. Instead of learnig something they need to get unblocked some how.

  3. #13
    Honeyed Water thoughtlost's Avatar
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    Hm, I am definitely not the most empathetic person out there. I noticed I was like this when I was four. My mom's mom died when I was that age and I could not understand why she was crying. I remember laughing because it felt so strange. I still have a tough time with things like that.

    So I don't "merge" with another person to understand their perspective, but I do have the tendency to see things from my own perspective. So say I watch the news and I hear the someone got kidnapped. I won't necessarily care until I see it from a perspective that matters to me. Just earlier today I learned of a kidnapping although I didn't feel bad for her or anything like that, I was more worried how something like that would affect me and THEN I felt sad that there is so much evil in the world (it sucks that there are so many factors that could strip a person of their ability to transcend their experiences).

    ...Is ...is this a bad thing?? lol

  4. #14
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    Since empathy is coded into the human brain, all humans have the capability to be so, with the exception of those with conditions that would genuinely inhibit it, as what has already been mentioned. Empathy therefore cannot be learned as such, as it is already there, but rather, connected with.

  5. #15
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    What I mean is, can someone who is not naturally empathetic learn how to become empathetic?

    I kind of think they can learn but only if they see their own deficit and want to learn without seeking any other gains.

    What do you think?
    Sympathy comes naturally and doesn't have to be learnt. Mothers sympathise with their babies and their babies sympathise with their mothers and so the sympathetic bond is formed.

    On the other hand, empathy, meaning knowing what another is feeling but not feeling it oneself, is not natural and must be learnt.

    Unfortunately in popular culture the words 'sympathy' and 'empathy' are confused. This is a shame because it prevents many from realising they need to be taught empathy in the same way they needed to be taught to read and write.

    This is a double tragedy because empathy is uniquely helpful.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    What I mean is, can someone who is not naturally empathetic learn how to become empathetic?

    I kind of think they can learn but only if they see their own deficit and want to learn without seeking any other gains.

    What do you think?
    (emphasis altered - mine)

    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Giggly, I think this is the key. I don't think you can effectively practice empathy if you're trying to game it.
    Can you explain what you mean by this?

    On some level I'd agree that if your concept of learning empathy is "tricking people into thinking you're listening to them" or something like that you're not going to really learn empathy.

    But otherwise, I disagree.

    Let's say you want to be a great soccer player. You can practice and drill on fundamentals and get really good. Let's say you want to go pro. You also want to be a famous footballer and have the big contract and the clothing endorsements and everything else. If you JUST want the fame you're probably not going to be so great at focusing on getting good at the sport. But if you have that additional motivation - I don't see why that's a bad thing. That's just more motivation to focus and get good.

    In the same way, I think you can learn empathy in order to better understand people and at the same time realize it will provide you with huge benefits in life, business, personal, sexual, all of that.



    Otherwise, like most other things you have to work on, you'll only get good if you want to learn. I agree with that. You can probably learn some through osmosis, but only so much.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  7. #17
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Sympathy comes naturally and doesn't have to be learnt. Mothers sympathise with their babies and their babies sympathise with their mothers and so the sympathetic bond is formed.

    On the other hand, empathy, meaning knowing what another is feeling but not feeling it oneself, is not natural and must be learnt.

    Unfortunately in popular culture the words 'sympathy' and 'empathy' are confused. This is a shame because it prevents many from realising they need to be taught empathy in the same way they needed to be taught to read and write.

    This is a double tragedy because empathy is uniquely helpful.
    You have the definitions mixed up.

  8. #18
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    In the same way, I think you can learn empathy in order to better understand people and at the same time realize it will provide you with huge benefits in life, business, personal, sexual, all of that.
    The only place I know where empathy is taught is in high quality training for the helping professions.

    To think we can teach ourselves empathy is like thinking we can teach ourselves to read and write.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Tell that to Frederick Douglass
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  10. #20
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    The only place I know where empathy is taught is in high quality training for the helping professions.

    To think we can teach ourselves empathy is like thinking we can teach ourselves to read and write.
    Some people do teach themselves to read and write. There are children to figure out how who read by the age of three or five even with minimal or no help. I've seen people self-teach almost any skill and knowledge. In general the self-teaching process may not be as efficient as having a trained guide and teacher, but for certain minds and personalities it can even be more efficient than with the wrong mentor. You see this process more with people at either end of the norm. The gifted/genius child self teaches the majority of concepts and teachers just guide in places. I even have developmentally delayed autistic students who have taught themselves how to transpose chord progressions to any key.
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