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Thread: Anxiety

  1. #11
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    That's about the limit of what I know. If it's more complex than basic shyness anxiety then i don't know. Best to see a professional.
    It is what I am planning to do, actually.

    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    This is true if the actual act of talking to people is at the core of the anxiety. If the root is something else that is being misdirected into new social situations, then lots of interacting won't help. If it is a self-esteem issue because of an emotionally abusive parent, then continued interaction doesn't help as much as addressing that core issue.

    Anxiety can be a difficult issue to address, but I have found it helps to put all of your energy into overcoming one anxiety at a time, rather than trying to take it all on at once. There are also some simple things like deep breathing that has a helpful physiological effect.
    I don't think talking to people is the core of the issue. I do believe it is the side-effect of the core issue.

    I created a log (out of a journal I created a year ago) of a few things I found noteworthy that I plan to bring to a professional sometime this month.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stanton Moore View Post
    Do some yoga, preferably in a class. Really, it can change your relationship with anxiety. I didn't think it was possible, but it works, with no side effects.
    In the mean time, try this to get your feet wet:

    http://www.kundaliniyoga.org/pranayam.html

    Good luck!
    I've been researching a bit and found this thing called CBT that seems to work really well when it comes to anxiety.

  2. #12
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rail Tracer View Post
    How to tame it.

    The difference between being overly shy, having social anxiety, and being an introvert?
    Reasonable definitions have already been posted. I will add simply that fear of social interaction is not at all the same as dislike of it. Each of us should feel free to socialize at our own pace, and in our own way. Anxiety that comes from how others react to your natural socializing preferences is addressed differently from that stemming from social interactions themselves.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #13
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I have a new theory that some of this can be addressed through extreme empathy. Side with the other people and not yourself. Take a genuine interest in other people and not what they might be thinking of you. Then there is no room for the ego, and no room for anxiety.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  4. #14
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    i have interestingly the exact opposite kind of anxiety problem. i cant stand alone time, it drives me crazy, neurotic, obsessive.. the anxiety is just unbearable so i do all kinds of movement things to ease it. but people calm me down. i feel safe when i have a connection to another being.

    i think it has to do with wings, i would classify that in each enneagram, one wing deals with the internal world while another with the external, this is why people experience different kinds of anxieties.

    my father is a 6w5 too,(istp, sp so) and he has exactly the same thing as youre explaining. i would say, that anxiety is simply you being unhealthy.

    ive been trying to find a perfect philosophy that would give me security when im alone, but so far i havent really found anything. currently the best working method to ease my anxiety has been gut, when i just focus on being stronger than my anxiety to overcome it. it works, but its really exhausting.

    also analyzing my anxiety instead of just impulsively getting neurotic seems to help, helps me become more aware of the problem.
    healthiness is all about appreciating other peoples inferior function. its like the sore spot no one ever notices, but we desperately wish they did, and if you focus on doing that, youll have many friends. and also learn to appreciate your own inferior function, others wont find it stupid if you show them how cool it is.

    INTJ 4w3 Sp Sx. (i dont believe in tritype. i do believe in learning traits from others.)

    mistakes happen. expect them, and grow from them. look for them, and avoid them.

  5. #15
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I have a new theory that some of this can be addressed through extreme empathy. Side with the other people and not yourself. Take a genuine interest in other people and not what they might be thinking of you. Then there is no room for the ego, and no room for anxiety.
    Most of the time, I have no interest in either. That can be even more effective. The stakes become so low in interactions that there is no basis for pressure, and no anxiety.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  6. #16
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Most of the time, I have no interest in either. That can be even more effective. The stakes become so low in interactions that there is no basis for pressure, and no anxiety.
    Is that the natural state for you? I will say myself that if I am anxious I dislike being so, but it is there nonetheless and the truth is that it is automatic when I become self conscious in the manner that @21% identified.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  7. #17
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Most of the time, I have no interest in either. That can be even more effective. The stakes become so low in interactions that there is no basis for pressure, and no anxiety.
    That's a good strategy too. Harder to do when you're younger, I think. When I was young I used to have a lot of social anxiety but then ultimately realized I was being self-obsessed. Since I could not turn off the 'caring' (whether about what they think of me or what they are feeling, e.g. am I being rude or inconsiderate?), I just pushed it to the other extreme.

    As I'm getting older I don't really care as much what people think of me, especially in personal relationships. In business relationships I still feel a lot of anxiety though, like whether I am making a good impression or if I'm being nice enough to the customer.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  8. #18
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    Is that the natural state for you? I will say myself that if I am anxious I dislike being so, but it is there nonetheless and the truth is that it is automatic when I become self conscious in the manner that @21% identified.
    I think thinkers have a much easier time 'not thinking too much'. I'm always in awe of how gracefully thinkers can say 'no'. In the same situation I'd be ridden with guilt and feeling obliged, so I try to learn from them.

    I was extremely self-conscious in my teens, I think, to the point that when I'm with people I only felt what they felt about me. I couldn't see myself. I wasn't in touch with my own feelings. I was just so obsessed with what was 'happening' between me and other people. I've learned that once you focus inwards towards your own self and try to remain true to your genuine feelings, and at the same time focus outwards towards other people and try to see them for who they are without expectation or judgment, your communication becomes more natural and a lot less stressful.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  9. #19
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I have a new theory that some of this can be addressed through extreme empathy. Side with the other people and not yourself. Take a genuine interest in other people and not what they might be thinking of you. Then there is no room for the ego, and no room for anxiety.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Most of the time, I have no interest in either. That can be even more effective. The stakes become so low in interactions that there is no basis for pressure, and no anxiety.
    Both cases are a bit unnatural for me.

    Having general interest in others leads to what they are thinking of me, precisely because I am thinking about them thinking about me. It is genuine because I think about them enough that I'm thinking about how I am to them. Not sure if I made it even more confusing? It is sort of like this: I take an interest in you and get to know you a little better. So, hey, I find out you are pretty cool. I hang out with you a little more. I did something I think I should not have, and the negative loop just goes. Part of it is natural that I'll be affecting others in ways I see as aggravating. I understand that. But my mind does it anyways. It starts questioning me of things I should of done and what I should of not done.

    Not thinking of either one doesn't help my situation, mostly because I see myself as escaping the situation if I choose to do so. I'm willing to interact, it is just that interacting is harder than it needs to be. Ohhhh, and the career I am getting into requires social interaction (I know.... but it is because the topics of it is interesting.)

    Interacting online is a different story though, I can interact and not worry much. Now, if I were to meet and interact with you people in real life, that is a different story. You'd probably won't notice much, but it is all there. I'd probably even look calm (strangely... a lot of people's reactions.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Vilku View Post
    my father is a 6w5 too,(istp, sp so) and he has exactly the same thing as youre explaining. i would say, that anxiety is simply you being unhealthy.

    also analyzing my anxiety instead of just impulsively getting neurotic seems to help, helps me become more aware of the problem.
    Yeah, I'm beginning to take more serious steps into analyzing my own mind, or I have been doing it for a while now.

  10. #20
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    Is that the natural state for you? I will say myself that if I am anxious I dislike being so, but it is there nonetheless and the truth is that it is automatic when I become self conscious in the manner that @21% identified.
    I become anxious at times, but rarely due to what I imagine others think of me, or the thought of interacting with people. I will wonder about the tangible effects of my words (did I explain something well enough for the other person to do it? was the info I gave someone correct?), but rarely about what they think of me. I consider feedback, but rarely get it. I have little personal interest in others outside my immediate circle of family and friends. I will take interest to the extent necessary to work together, or interact in other necessary ways. I don't, however, need or want to hear the details of their personal lives. When I find myself in such discussions, it is not anxiety but annoyance that I feel, and I try to terminate the interaction ASAP.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I think thinkers have a much easier time 'not thinking too much'. I'm always in awe of how gracefully thinkers can say 'no'. In the same situation I'd be ridden with guilt and feeling obliged, so I try to learn from them.
    Really? Most Ts I know, especially NTs, are accused of overthinking regularly. We avoid feelings of guilt and obligation by avoiding exactly that - unproductive feelings. We know we are under no obligation and there is nothing to feel guilty about because we have thought things through. I suppose this requires or is even based in a certain detachment from situations that is easier for the average T; our tendency not to take things personally.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    As I'm getting older I don't really care as much what people think of me, especially in personal relationships. In business relationships I still feel a lot of anxiety though, like whether I am making a good impression or if I'm being nice enough to the customer.
    I will have some concern in consequential situations like important meetings at work, etc. IME, however, being courteous and professional and having all my facts straight has been more than adequate. As long as I have done my homework and remain calm and focused*, any anxiety is minimal.

    *a very natural state for me
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

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