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Road to happiness

prplchknz

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I'm on the road to happiness and these are my 3 starting points, feel free to share your own if you have any. I figured they might be helpful

1.)make a gratitude list (sounds stupid, but trust me it helps)- Like each morning or night right down a list of 5-8 things you are grateful for. If you're having a bad day and can take a moment to do this it will help put your perspective in a better place.

2.)surround yourself with postive people who won't lie to you- I don't mean fake, i mean geniune people who are truly happy with where they're out. I still hate overly peppy people, but there's a difference between positive and peppy.the honesty part is important because it lets you know where your strength and weaknesses are, and they call you on your bs

3.)have a sense of humor-people are gonna say mean stuff, and your shoe is gonna break, some days just suck. I'm still working on this, but laughing at the minor hiccups and a gratitude list helps
 

cafe

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I am happier since I began to refuse to beat myself up.
 

cafe

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that's a good one, haven't been good at that.
It took me awhile to get out of the habit. I had to have a substitute thought to pop in when I caught myself doing it, but I can't remember what it was.
 

Lark

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Jun 21, 2009
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I tried the gratitude list once, it became a chore but then my general journalling is positive in a way which I suspect amounts to the same thing, in my own mind I do that sort of positive reframing automatically.

The positive support group is the most vital thing of all, the happiest times in my life are the ones in which I've had good circles of friends and associates, could have good conversation pretty much constantly if that was my choosing.

I think its important that you have boundaries too, that what can be stressful in one sphere will not bleed across into the other. So if you are having a hard time at work or with family or with friends its generally not simultaneously.

Being outward looking, having pass times and interests, goals and objectives to pursue and look forward to and being prepared for big stressful events that you can anticipate are all good ideas.
 

cafe

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For the gratitude thing, I've made a discipline of looking for at least one good thing in every bad situation. Then I try to be thankful for that. It keeps me from major pity parties a lot of the time.
 

prplchknz

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I think society trains us to be miserable from an early age so when we're older we'll seek therapy, bringing in money to therapists, so you know there's that aspect of things. but i try not to think about that too much, because i can only move forward. unless someone wants to figure out time travel, but no that would have dire consequences so lets not and say we did and get rich or do but keep it hush hush
 

SpankyMcFly

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Mindfulness What works for me is combining two things, mindfullness which leads to gratefullness.

Coffee, it's gud. I focus on the making of it, make sure I measure everything just... right, I setup my condiments the same way, I stir clockwise, usually 8 swirls with 1 counterclockwise stir at the end. I like the eddies this creates then watching them dissipate. I always smell the cup before I sip. I do this to gauge the temperature at the same time, lest I burn myself. MMmm coffee smell gud. I could blather on, but you get the gist methinks.

This often leads to gratefullness. Coffee, something us first worlders take for granted, a simple luxury. What about the guy who picked the beans to make it? What kinda life does he have? Or how about the retail person who rang it up and deals with people all day *shivers* How about the simple fact that I have the resources, time included, to not only enjoy my coffee, but to be writing this post? *I just did it!*

As I go through my day I am always on the lookout for these kinda moments, they can be sneaky and "hide" well. Encountering them is not only uplifting, but downright fun at times, running across these tiny nuggets of joy. Sharing them, and creating a ripple is even better :cheese:

"The secret to happiness is low expectations." ~ Barry Schwartz
 

prplchknz

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Be a pessimist.

are you happy? because to me it's not about pessimism or optimism because both lead to expectations, and the less expectations you have of others the better off you are
 
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