This is partially tongue in cheek, which is why I put it in "other psych" instead of MBTI theory section, but I'm one by one trying to psychologically analyze each of my parental figures as I go.
Easiest was grandpa. He was old and is now dead, and did his best with me, practically was my "mommy" for most of my life, and a great teacher for things like reading and history; so I empathized with what I hated about him first.
Second was my real mommy. I realized once I understood her I had no substantial reason to be angry at this pitiable train-wreck of an abused woman, and I actually admire how far she's come in middle age in terms of being strong, independent, and growing, really trying to set an example for her daughters to not "stay stuck" in her own sort of way.
I will never be able be able to completely understand my father, since he was so absent, so the final piece of the puzzle is my grandfather's pushy ESTJ wife who I was angry at for many years because of how pushy she was, and how she lacked empathy. She never hit me, but I considered the severity of her behavior emotionally abusive during my teen years, though she was easier to get along with as a child.
My mom doesn't like her, either.
But I realized that this woman tried with every part of her to make me strong and feminist, and to not be my mother. Even when I was angry, I kind of had to admit that the reason I'm probably so strong and independent is because of her, though grandpa dispensed the money and the book smarts. The two things combined together have done wonders in keeping my obvious emotionally disturbed crazy train reasonably in check so I'm a relatively functional non-dependent human being.
I now wonder if ESTJ women in general are unhappy as housewives unless they have an entire empire to run, you know, like an estate or being the matriarch of a wealthy family.
Because that's how I always saw ESTJ, I saw her almost having this delusion of being this powerful woman, like she wanted to be the evil rich lady on Dynasty or something.
And she was independent. She voted Democrat while my grandfather voted Republican (my grandmother, and even my uncle, never did such a thing, though my mom does) and eventually worked outside of the home. She cursed at toilets and snatched up people's drinking glasses while they were still drinking their tea.
She focused all of her Te into obsessive linear order in the home, and it still wasn't enough for her. She was angry and oppressed, and that's why she always told me I didn't need a man.
Of course I need men for emotional and sexual reasons, being a heterosexual woman with a strong sex drive, but she meant in the sense of being taken care of by a husband.
And maybe that's why she was emotionally abusive. She wasn't satisfied with what life threw her, and I think she was probably happiest after my grandfather died (and that of course also did not engender affection in mine nor my mother's hearts, naturally).
But objectively speaking, are ExTJ women angry housewives?