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  1. #1
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Default Which Family Type(s) Did You Have Growing Up?

    http://faculty.plts.edu/gpence/PS101...cumplexmap.jpg

    The two axes on the chart are ordered by:

    Chaotic, flexible, structured, rigid.

    Disengaged, separated, connected, enmeshed.

    For an explanation of the chart, go to:
    http://faculty.plts.edu/gpence/PS101...plex_model.htm

    My family type was "chaotically disengaged."
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  2. #2
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Somewhere between flexibly connected and structurally connected I think.

    Why aren't more people responding to this thread?
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
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  3. #3
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Chaotically connected

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

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    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Such Irony View Post
    Somewhere between flexibly connected and structurally connected I think.

    Why aren't more people responding to this thread?
    I don't know. Because there's no test or survey? Sometimes new threads just slip through the cracks and need to be bumped to the top again.

    I've known about The Circumplex Model for at least 20 years. My family type was more mixed than I let on because I went from a father to a step-father. The family dynamics changed at that point.

    I have a family and a family dynamic of my own now. Of course my wife and I differ a little bit on how structured the family should be. When I first came across them, chaos was the rule. I've made it a point of aiming us toward something more structured, but not rigid, as I make it a point to be moderate in lifestyle. I can tell that my wife would like it to be more flexible than the arrangement I want because she's a laid-back 9. But she is a resistant type. If she married someone who wanted to be rigid about things, she would aim for more chaos. The compromise position I've taken is not too bad.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  5. #5
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    OK now what? What are you supposed to do with this information? What do you use it for?

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  6. #6
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    OK now what? What are you supposed to do with this information? What do you use it for?
    It's just more information to use in self-understanding, and to improve one's present family structure, as in the communication aspect.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  7. #7

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    The type of family i am living is flexible connected.

  8. #8
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Rigidly separated, then disengaged

    It's clear why they structured their household the way they did, not to say I agree with how it happened. The limitations of our DNA will lead us to repeat this and similar mistakes until big brother eventually decides everything.

    It's raining pills LET'S EAT THEM

    thinking of you

  9. #9
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Chaotic enmeshed to flexible connected

    - Lack of leadership - with an e9 ISFP step-dad and phobic e6 ISFJ mom, no one was wearing the pants in the family. Sometimes my mom's anxiety induced feistiness will make it look like she does, but it's more naggy/complaining than directing anyone.

    Sometimes we went the flexible route & did the diplomatic/shared thing with leadership. My sister and I probably wear the pants actually. We have more intense personalities (she's e7 & I'm e4) than the parents. I probably wear the pants in the big areas (my sister is demanding when it comes to her hedonism only). When an INFP wears the pants, then you know it's chaos! :P

    - Change - We had some change/instability due to unstable finances, but it's not like we were one of those families that uproots & moves every few years to a new city.

    - Erratic /Democratic Discipline - Discipline was erratic or really just not enforced (we were assigned a chore schedule once at a half-hearted attempt to bring some order- we didn't do them at all - nothing happened), but teaching was not. That's why we were good kids. My parents were more "do as I do" types than "do as I say". There weren't any rules, but good examples of principles in action.

    - Enmeshed & Connected Cohesion - The loyalty is very high. Dependency is high too. My family could be insular growing up. My parents would have maybe 1-2 other families they'd be friends with & hardly socialize otherwise. Even though my family was not interacting with others, we weren't necessarily interacting with each other. 3 introverts meant lots of being at home together & not interacting. My ESFP sister brought in the most outsiders & I was the most insistent on establishing some independence.

    Both being passive, my parents don't like to ask for help from other people, so there was a lot of interdependency. My mom has a "we have to band together - we are all we have!" mentality. When I moved out in my mid 20s my parents had hurt feelings over it. Any stab at independence I make, they take as some kind of rejection of them.

    My mom thinks I am too sensitive over establishing an independent identity from them, but it's probably in reaction to feeling a bit smothered at times. I admit a part of me did want to "escape" growing up.

    There's also a lot of emotional reactivity in the family too. I'd say we have healthy amounts of outside relationships & activities though, especially now. My parents are more sociable & active in things outside the home & so am I.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #10
    your resident asshole
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    Quote Originally Posted by Such Irony View Post
    Why aren't more people responding to this thread?
    I don't entirely "get" this.

    For example, my family is generally fairly independent from one another (we often aren't all home together and stuff)...but we seem to have high loyalty and are "close" to one another.

    I don't really understand how the adaptability scale works either. I mean...my parents have always had their own roles, but they are far from authoritarian and there is little to not discipline here.

    Dunno what to make of this.

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