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  1. #11
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    I was diagnosed as being autistic when I was 5 years old after being previous being diagnosed as being "profoundly deaf" at 3 years old (I was nonverbal and didn't respond to my parents at all so the doctors at the time told them I was deaf). The "deaf" diagnosis was overturned when I was 5 because I started responding to my parents and talking back to them. When I was 17, my psychiatrist who was treating me for Major Depression Disorder (an interesting time in my life that involved years of therapy and 2 tours in across three different mental hospitals because I was suicidal) diagnosed me as having Asperger's Syndrome.

    Having read the article, I do have the following to say...

    I never went to any sort of therapy for my autism. Originally the doctors wanted to send me to a special education school but my parents refused and insisted on sending me to regular school. I never underwent ABA or anything like that. I was quite literally thrown into the deep end of the pool and told to swim. My early childhood was largely isolated and all the way through high school I was frequently the target of bullies. That being said, I did well in school academically and I did have a small handful of friends throughout the years so my existence was not nearly so bleak as the authors. I consider the loss of my viginity to be a wonderful accident and a product of the modern age. I lost my virginity to my ENFJ who I met on the Internet. She lived in Winnipeg Manitoba and I lived in NE Florida. If I had been born a decade sooner, I'm not sure how things would have turned out.

    As an adult with Aspergers, I find I largely fit in but only because I've learned how to navigate my way around. People generally find me politely and somewhat affable, and thats the persona I try very hard to project. In truth I find a lot of people to be a deeply fascinating if chaotic mess and I often find myself getting lost in watching groups of people and/or individuals and watching how they act around other people.

    I've managed to maintain good relations with some people but at the present point in time I wouldn't say I really have any friends, just acquaintances. These people seem to enjoy my time and I enjoy but thats about where it ends. My ENFJ-ex and I still call and text each other a lot but by and large I'm generally left alone and most of the time I have no issue with this. It does get very lonely sometimes and I don't know how to properly reach out to people without coming off as needy or clingy when I'm going through they dry spells. As such, I tend to spend my leisure time losing myself in books, movies, or video games and I can become so immersed in them that they start feeling like the real world and reality can seem like a dream....but only sometimes. Most of the time I just suffer a bit of disorientation but I'm otherwise OK.

    Girlfriends and my intimate relationships are few and far between. I think I have a lot of positive qualities for a person and I feel I have a lot to offer to a potential mate, I've just yet to find one who is looking for someone like me. While at the present point in time I have voluntarily chosen to stay alone as I haven't finish processing emotionally my last breakup some months ago, I am optimistic about my future. I've noticed in the women around me that the older they get, the more they value consistency and reliability in their mates and I feel I might start to appeal more to women the older I get. I'm the co-owner of a real estate business that is prospering and I receive a steady income. I have no bad habits, I like to go dancing (and in fact have been told I am an excellent ballroom dancer), and I'm willing to try anything once although I may not be the one to take the initiative to go out and do stuff: I'm happy in my little shell and while I don't mind stepping outside of it, I dont't really feel the need to go outside of it just for the sake of doing it. My greatest flaw I would say is expressing myself emotionally: I either over do it or barely do it at all. I'm still a Feeler though, so I'm properly a little bit ahead of the curb in that respect

    As such, I think I might appeal who is looking for a quiet, dependable helpmate, whomever that may be.

    I wouldn't say I feel any need to go out of my way and label myself as being different some everyone else but I have found that telling friends/girlfriends about my Aspergers to be helpful as it helps them to understand some of my behaviors (that I take things so literally, that I can be very blunt and straight to the point when discussing something). I don't consider what I have to be a disability, just a quirk.
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    perhapz iz becuz adultz autists too smart to fucking mention theirs condition in front of fucking retardez neurotycialz like what the fuck matterz what da neurotypicalz thinks, as if they'd evar understanz something, juzt becuz u'd explain it to them a 1000sand timez. howevarz, if you fucking cares to hearz what tis fucking idiot haz to say, herez my take on it.

    thank u, you are perfect, neurotypicalz or not, itz not like u had a choice or sumthingz, itz just who u arez, so enjoy da SELF.
    People used to say that I needed to get "people skills". I would often respond by saying I didn't meet many people with people skills, just those with "people-like-me" skills who were fortunate enough to have people like them around.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  3. #13

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    I am glad that some people are funtioning well, but I find it sad that we give up on the others...who like the man mentioned in the first post, wants some targeted help, but cannot really get it since he is an adult. This is a little funny too, because we force children into it, but do not allow adults who want help to get it.

    Is this because adults aren't looking for a "cure", but just some ways to manage practical problems?

  4. #14
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    What do you mean we "force children into it"?

    Available resources for people with autism vary widely by region. Here, TEACCH, the department that diagnosed my son, would have been glad to assess my husband as well, if he wanted the help. And if he had been formally diagnosed they have services for adults with autism including employment training, support groups, social skills groups, etc. I wish this were available everywhere, but good services for children with autism are not universally available, either. Funding for education in general is being slashed and special education is already underfunded.

  5. #15
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Parents generally make those kinds of decisions for their children. I've been to enough IEP meetings to know that I'm allowed to refuse services on behalf of my child. And I would give a kidney for truly helpful services. Most of the staff I've dealt with either doesn't have a clue about autism or does not have access to necessary resources. By middle school the best we were being offered were special ed classes for slow learners even though everyone acknowledged that my son is in no way a slow learner.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #16
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    I think more broadly speaking adults don't really receive help (except from their immediate family) for their problems, or at least are mostly either not expected to have any or to get by with what they have. It's unfortunately not a problem limited to mild autism.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  7. #17
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    People used to say that I needed to get "people skills". I would often respond by saying I didn't meet many people with people skills, just those with "people-like-me" skills who were fortunate enough to have people like them around.
    Very well said.
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    What do you mean we "force children into it"?

    Available resources for people with autism vary widely by region. Here, TEACCH, the department that diagnosed my son, would have been glad to assess my husband as well, if he wanted the help. And if he had been formally diagnosed they have services for adults with autism including employment training, support groups, social skills groups, etc. I wish this were available everywhere, but good services for children with autism are not universally available, either. Funding for education in general is being slashed and special education is already underfunded.
    Force is perhaps a strong word. But we generally don't allow children to chose these sorts of things. Similarly to a situation with a deaf child and getting implants.

    It is good to know help was available. But is it typical? I mean for other things we deem to be a problem, like adult ADD and bipolar disorder, it seems like the dichotomy of resources available for children vs. adults doesn't seem as sharp.

    For instance, even in your region, if someone were to seek either a test or treatment for adult autism, where would they go? Around here, the support groups, insurance covered access is quite different for something like adult ADD or adult bipolar, as compared with an adult seeking help with what (s)he believes might be an autism spectrum issue.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Parents generally make those kinds of decisions for their children. I've been to enough IEP meetings to know that I'm allowed to refuse services on behalf of my child. And I would give a kidney for truly helpful services. Most of the staff I've dealt with either doesn't have a clue about autism or does not have access to necessary resources. By middle school the best we were being offered were special ed classes for slow learners even though everyone acknowledged that my son is in no way a slow learner.
    I am sure you know quite a bit about this, but I find your story to be typical of what I found digging around here.

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I think more broadly speaking adults don't really receive help (except from their immediate family) for their problems, or at least are mostly either not expected to have any or to get by with what they have. It's unfortunately not a problem limited to mild autism.
    Perhaps not, but I am pretty sure with many things deemed medical/neurological conditions, help seems to be be more easily accessible as an adult than with autism (e.g. bipolar disorder...not that it is entirely easy in that sense either). I actually wonder if this doesn't lead to treating the wrong issues with adults.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  9. #19
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    What's the view on autism now?

    Last I checked mainstream psychology seemed to agree that it's a disability, something undesirable and horrid, and something that must be cured or done away with in some manner. There seems to be this inherent "expectation" that one "should" be "normal", instead of an appreciation for neuro-diversity.

    The autistic must make accommodations for the neurotypical, but the neurotypical doesn't have to do shit; sounds unhealthy for autistics, adapted or not. An autistic with self-esteem wouldn't want such help, even if they were struggling. I then don't see much good for an autistic getting labeled other than to meet other autistics and find someone to relate to...but there's many places to find such people that don't require a stigmatizing label...

  10. #20
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    Last I checked mainstream psychology seemed to agree that it's a disability, something undesirable and horrid, and something that must be cured or done away with in some manner. There seems to be this inherent "expectation" that one "should" be "normal", instead of an appreciation for neuro-diversity.

    The autistic must make accommodations for the neurotypical, but the neurotypical doesn't have to do shit; sounds unhealthy for autistics, adapted or not. An autistic with self-esteem wouldn't want such help, even if they were struggling. I then don't see much good for an autistic getting labeled other than to meet other autistics and find someone to relate to...but there's many places to find such people that don't require a stigmatizing label...
    Yes, people seem well able to meet like-minded or similarly interested folks without need of a clinical diagnosis. Just look at all the support, religious, cultural, hobbyist, and sports groups out there. The mainstream already makes accommodations for various "non-mainstream" groups, often at considerable expense. Consider all the accessibility features mandated by the ADA, or even the 10% of desks most lecture halls have on the opposite side for lefties. Accommodation of people on the Autism spectrum should be even more straightforward, since it requires no changes to basic infrastructure, but more just with people's attitudes.

    There is some interesting discussion in this thread about the degree to which autism (and other "disorders") are really just atypical traits that don't necessarily impair one's functioning or require correcton. This can be seen in the association of autism with certain MBTI types. These types have preferences, motivations, and resulting behavior that differ from the mainstream. At some point on the continuum, the difference can be significant enough to affect daily functioning, at which point I suppose it requires some intervention. Perhaps that is the dividing line between a difference and a disorder.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

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