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  1. #21
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    For discussion, let's say that it's very serious, as in an immediate family member being very sick with a limited time remaining.

    And, the isolation is long-term, maybe a few weeks to several months.
    Javo, this sounds like a truly serious issue. I'd say, yes, give him or her some space but at the same time, don't back away completely. When your friend does lift his/her head and is ready to come out of the whole they've buried themselves in then they are going to want someone trustworthy. It's mostly a waiting game. No matter who it is, or how isolated they want to be, it still helps to know that someone actually does care about you without wanting any kind of gratification in return. Also, it depends on the kind of person it is. Not all introverts are created equal. For example, I do have to deal with grief alone but if after six months a person still won't come out of the house and is suicidal, then yeah, they need intervention of some sort. When my dad was dying of cancer [2011], I wanted to spend every moment I could with him so my friends and social connections had to take a backseat. Funny thing, though, most understood. When a member of a close family goes through a crisis, it's not just that one person, it's the whole family. Cancer [and other diseases like it] are traumatic both to the one fighting it and to the family and it isn't always easy to know the right thing to do or say. Cards help [sent via the snail mail]. Doing practical things like bringing groceries over or bringing a cooked meal over or if they have kids, offering to watch them for a few hours or walking their dog or...things that say "I'm there for you, but you don't have to pour out your guts to me if you don't want to." These things speak volumes, at least to me they do.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  2. #22
    Member IllusoryReverie's Avatar
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    Overall it depends on if the person feels that they're experiencing solitude or isolation. From the way you put it, it sounds like in your friend's case they're experiencing isolation. Sometimes I isolate myself when I don't have the energy to expend on other people and need some time to think about things while also recharging my own batteries. It's very helpful for me, more so than confronting a problem/issue that I'm not ready for. Just keep in mind that just as you have your own ways of counteracting your stress/grief, so does your friend, just in a very different way. So as long as you don't feel that your friend has displayed any risky behaviors, I would think isolation would be completely okay for dealing with any current problematic areas.
    “The first progressive step by a mind overwhelmed by the strangeness of things is to realize that this feeling of strangeness is shared with all men and that human reality, in its entirety, suffers from the distance which separates it from the rest of the universe." -Albert Camus

  3. #23
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    Javo, this sounds like a truly serious issue. I'd say, yes, give him or her some space but at the same time, don't back away completely. When your friend does lift his/her head and is ready to come out of the whole they've buried themselves in then they are going to want someone trustworthy. It's mostly a waiting game. No matter who it is, or how isolated they want to be, it still helps to know that someone actually does care about you without wanting any kind of gratification in return. Also, it depends on the kind of person it is. Not all introverts are created equal. For example, I do have to deal with grief alone but if after six months a person still won't come out of the house and is suicidal, then yeah, they need intervention of some sort. When my dad was dying of cancer [2011], I wanted to spend every moment I could with him so my friends and social connections had to take a backseat. Funny thing, though, most understood. When a member of a close family goes through a crisis, it's not just that one person, it's the whole family. Cancer [and other diseases like it] are traumatic both to the one fighting it and to the family and it isn't always easy to know the right thing to do or say. Cards help [sent via the snail mail]. Doing practical things like bringing groceries over or bringing a cooked meal over or if they have kids, offering to watch them for a few hours or walking their dog or...things that say "I'm there for you, but you don't have to pour out your guts to me if you don't want to." These things speak volumes, at least to me they do.
    Thank you very much for these words of wisdom! This is extremely insightful and helpful!


    Quote Originally Posted by IllusoryReverie View Post
    Overall it depends on if the person feels that they're experiencing solitude or isolation. From the way you put it, it sounds like in your friend's case they're experiencing isolation. Sometimes I isolate myself when I don't have the energy to expend on other people and need some time to think about things while also recharging my own batteries. It's very helpful for me, more so than confronting a problem/issue that I'm not ready for. Just keep in mind that just as you have your own ways of counteracting your stress/grief, so does your friend, just in a very different way. So as long as you don't feel that your friend has displayed any risky behaviors, I would think isolation would be completely okay for dealing with any current problematic areas.
    Thanks for your thoughts on this! The isolation does seem to be a good thing in this case. I initially misinterpreted the friend's reason and goal for the isolation.

  4. #24
    Glycerine
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    Sometimes, isolation can be quite refreshing when is one under extreme stress in order to process things because dealing with other things/people can be quite overwhelming on top of whatever is causing you extreme stress. However, there is fine line between it becoming therapeutic and it spiraling downward into depression.
    Last edited by Glycerine; 03-28-2013 at 12:30 PM.

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