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  1. #41
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    Ah, social scripts.

    Regarding "the question": One perspective, valid in some cases and not in others, is that they're not actually asking that question. From that perspective, when a stranger asks "How are you?" they're simply communicating "hi"; and "I'm okay" is simply a reciprocation of what the person is really communicating.

    Emphasis again: that's simply one perspective of many--it's less 'true' for friends than strangers, less 'true' for direct communicators, etc.

    Emphasis again: "I'm okay" is one of many valid answers. Derailing the whole train is also fun

  2. #42
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Ah, social scripts.

    Regarding "the question": One perspective, valid in some cases and not in others, is that they're not actually asking that question. From that perspective, when a stranger asks "How are you?" they're simply communicating "hi"; and "I'm okay" is simply a reciprocation of what the person is really communicating.
    But that is exactly my point. If what the other person really means is "Hi!", why don't they just say that? Why must the rest of us learn: "how are you?" = "hi" in Greetingspeak?
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    But that is exactly my point. If what the other person really means is "Hi!", why don't they just say that? Why must the rest of us learn: "how are you?" = "hi" in Greetingspeak?
    Good news. You only "must" learn it to the extent that you must deal with those who only know Greetingspeek. Moreover, pure Greetingseek--layers and layers of bullshit--is on one end of a spectrum, and most don't hang out on that far end of the spectrum.

    More good news. Communication is a two-way street, really. Someone who uses Greetingspeek with someone who doesn't? Well,
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Who cares if they aren't, I tell them anyway whatever I am feeling...and if they don't want to hear it, next time they won't ask
    they must learn to cut the crap and communicate more directly with FDG.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Why must the rest of us learn: "how are you?" = "hi" in Greetingspeak?
    Because it does. You don't have to learn it, but why would you not want to learn the truth? It will set you free.

  5. #45
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    If anyone is interested, I found out that she just meant that she was literally okay but she just wanted to talk more in general but didn't know what else to say so she added the other bit.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Il Morto Che Parla View Post
    Because it does. You don't have to learn it, but why would you not want to learn the truth? It will set you free.
    What is truth, and why would such a treasure lead to liberation?

  7. #47
    Senior Member Derpravity's Avatar
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    I find myself saying "I'm okay" whether I'm doing great or feeling lousy, just to keep them guessing.

    You can't use "I'm okay" as a mask if it always means "I could be better", after all.

    People who know me know to ask more specifically, if they're really interested.
    Rational idealist. Ethical hedonist. Secular humanist. Libertarian centrist. Lawful neutral. Melancholic. Medicated Bipolar I. Cat person. Kuudere. Dark magical girl. Slytherin. Alcoholic milkshake enthusiast.
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  8. #48
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Derpravity View Post
    You can't use "I'm okay" as a mask if it always means "I could be better", after all.
    do you think there is some maximum level of doing? you see, even if you answer with "im doing really great never felt this good before", it doesent mean that you couldnt do even better
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  9. #49
    Senior Member Derpravity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    do you think there is some maximum level of doing? you see, even if you answer with "im doing really great never felt this good before", it doesent mean that you couldnt do even better
    Obviously. I meant in the colloquial sense of "I'm not feeling super swell", often with a hint of "ask me why".
    Rational idealist. Ethical hedonist. Secular humanist. Libertarian centrist. Lawful neutral. Melancholic. Medicated Bipolar I. Cat person. Kuudere. Dark magical girl. Slytherin. Alcoholic milkshake enthusiast.
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  10. #50
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    It's my covert way of saying, "I'm feeling really shitty right now and would love it if you would comfort me or drown me in affection but I'm too proud or feel it's inappropriate in some way for me to tell you that".

    Or something like that
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

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