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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    When someone says "I'm doing okay" after being asked how they are doing, doesn't this mean that they are doing average or mediocre? Not good but not bad either, just okay. Like if you were doing good, you would say so, right? "I'm doing good"
    I would say I'm doing good if I was doing good, although that's mainly because I'm generally careful and choosey about what I'm saying.

    I think that most people arent, its only an observation, when I think that someone is not interested or making small talk I think I would give a salutory reply which would amount to "fine" or "okay" in the manner you mention there. Most of the time when people ask how people are doing they are not really interested.

    Meeting people who either genuinely enquire as to others or give genuine responses is generally interesting and can make for some really misjudged situations, I've seen people casually ask in the salutory fashion only to become frustrated if they get a proper, indepth response and the converse is true too.

    Its a little like the joke in one of the Terry Pratchett books about someone asking one of the disc world's leading philosopher's at a party "why are you here?" and the philosopher took eight years to answer, the humour is contained the misunderstanding, the enquiry could be a serious philosophical and existential question, as the philosopher interpretted it, or it could be more simple, the consideration of which it is could be a source of musing all by itself.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    When I say I am doing ok people ask "Why?" because they think if you say something less than good it is bad. So if I can bother I lie and say it is good, so it is not so awkward.

    When I say ok I usually mean just that - not awesome, but ok, and not terrible. Well, if I would feel terrible I would probably also say ok, so their feeling is not totally off, but most of the time it is just ok as I say.

  3. #13
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Sometimes it means:

    1. I know you aren't really interested, so I'm just providing a pro forma response for efficiency.

    2. The real answer is too involved to get into right now.

    3. How I am is none of your business.
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  4. #14
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I didn't because I thought it was something maybe like Coriolis said "none of your business". But now I'm realizing that I should have. *mad at myself*
    You should have done what? Pressed her when you had the sense she didn't want to talk about it? I hope you know her well enough to be sure she will be receptive to this. I, for one, would not be, and would consider it annoying or even intrusive.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #15
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    You should have done what? Pressed her when you had the sense she didn't want to talk about it? I hope you know her well enough to be sure she will be receptive to this. I, for one, would not be, and would consider it annoying or even intrusive.
    Well, that's you. What makes you so sure she didn't want to talk about it? I think she did.

  6. #16
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Usually means they are not. But also usually means they won't talk about it either. Unless you are in person, then you can usually dig it out of them.
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  7. #17
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Usually means they are not. But also usually means they won't talk about it either. Unless you are in person, then you can usually dig it out of them.
    I didn't want to dig anything out of her. I just think she was prompting me to ask/talk more about it but I didn't. Seems like if she didn't want to talk about it, she wouldn't have mentioned that her leg wasn't healing well after saying "I'm doing okay". Seems like she would have just left it at "I'm doing okay" and that's it.

  8. #18
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    If someone asks me how I am and I say, "I'm doing ok" it's an honest appraisal of the moment. It would usually would mean if you asked me, I would be receptive to talk about it, that something is going on in my life that's not 100% smooth or easy.

    If I didn't want to talk, I would say, "I am fine thanks" - the garden-variety answer which requires no tending.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
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  9. #19
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    The truth is, I'm probably miserable when I say I'm okay. It's one of my few habits of dishonesty.
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  10. #20
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    You should have done what? Pressed her when you had the sense she didn't want to talk about it? I hope you know her well enough to be sure she will be receptive to this. I, for one, would not be, and would consider it annoying or even intrusive.
    Well, that's you. What makes you so sure she didn't want to talk about it? I think she did.
    I am not sure at all, since I don't know this person. I am simply cautioning against an assumption, hence the highlighted.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

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