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  1. #31
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Why do you have so many personalities?
    Well being DDNOS, I don't really have entirely defined personalities per se. Just kind of general archetypes.

    Some people do have entire personalities that name themselves and they are very distinct from each other. I actually had some at one point but they integrated.

    As to why... I think there are certain parts that do not want to take on the bad. It's almost like a quarantine. Going to a good place to get away from the bad. But somebody gets left behind with it. Somebody has locked themselves in to fight the monster to protect everyone else.

    To keep the good from becoming the bad.

  2. #32
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I want to know everything in detail about that post. Do you mind questions?

    Why and when did they integrate? Who were they?

    You speak as if the monster is still there, attacking. Is that how it feels to those locked in?

    Are you older or more co-conscious than the others? Can you see and know all of them?

    What do you think about that book I just posted?


    Thank you. I think this is one of the most beautiful illustrations of how a mind can protect a body. Usually we just think of our mind as passive. But the mind is really working in people who have this. I cannot even bring myself to call it a disorder, though I understand why it is. Because it brings order to dysfunction. Who are we to then say it is 'disorder'?
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    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  3. #33
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I want to know everything in detail about that post. Do you mind questions?

    Why and when did they integrate? Who were they?
    Well I remember two very specific ones, Becca and Seraph.

    Becca was what we call a 'little' - a child alter. She would attach to females that she liked because she only wanted to be loved by a mother. So she would adopt mother figures periodically. She pretty much just liked to color and play with toys and just be a kid. We weren't aware of this at first because there was amnesia going on there, but when we got the internet we could see her write stuff periodically so things began to carry over and we figured out that she was there. We acknowledged her and gave her time to do her things like coloring and drawing and playing, and worked out her issue with needing love and wanting to have a mother. So I guess through acknowledgement and caring about her she didn't need to be split off anymore.

    Seraph was kind of a rebellious teenager with a lot of pain. She wasn't necessarily bad but acted out a lot, with self harm and substance abuse. There were blackouts there but it was rather obvious what was going on since we'd end up drunk or with cuts on the body. She had to be convinced that doing this was not ok. After working that out she integrated as well.

    You speak as if the monster is still there, attacking. Is that how it feels to those locked in?
    Some times it's like that. I have nightmares that my mother is still alive. Some times in a dream somebody knocks at the door and I open it and there she is, she's back and fully intends to take over. Usually results in waking up in a panic with lots of tears.

    Are you older or more co-conscious than the others? Can you see and know all of them?
    Connections are fuzzy at times but I'm semi co-conscious with most. I'm the oldest right now and have awareness of the others but some times it's a blurry link, I don't know the others entirely and when they switch in and I'm in the back it's kind of like watching somebody else from inside their head and I kind of have a vague recollection of what transpired during that time.

    What do you think about that book I just posted?
    It seems like an interesting read. I might like to read it myself.


    Thank you. I think this is one of the most beautiful illustrations of how a mind can protect a body. Usually we just think of our mind as passive. But the mind is really working in people who have this. I cannot even bring myself to call it a disorder, though I understand why it is. Because it brings order to dysfunction. Who are we to then say it is 'disorder'?
    Yeah. It's said that everybody dissociates a little bit. It's just not often this defined.

  4. #34
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sprinkles View Post
    Well I remember two very specific ones, Becca and Seraph.
    Seraphs are those things in the bible, aren't they? Like angels or something?

    Becca was what we call a 'little' - a child alter. She would attach to females that she liked because she only wanted to be loved by a mother. So she would adopt mother figures periodically. She pretty much just liked to color and play with toys and just be a kid. We weren't aware of this at first because there was amnesia going on there, but when we got the internet we could see her write stuff periodically so things began to carry over and we figured out that she was there. We acknowledged her and gave her time to do her things like coloring and drawing and playing, and worked out her issue with needing love and wanting to have a mother. So I guess through acknowledgement and caring about her she didn't need to be split off anymore.
    When you say 'we' you are speaking of yourselves? Or other people outside yourself?

    So the others would step back when she needed to 'come forward' and let her have her time? What words do you use to describe it?

    Seraph was kind of a rebellious teenager with a lot of pain. She wasn't necessarily bad but acted out a lot, with self harm and substance abuse. There were blackouts there but it was rather obvious what was going on since we'd end up drunk or with cuts on the body. She had to be convinced that doing this was not ok. After working that out she integrated as well.
    Somehow, inside, doesn't the core(s) know what is happening and won't it usually rise up and stop before serious harm can be inflicted? I mean you personally, not just in general, though if you know in general, that is good to state as well. Could others (is this the best term to use?) really want to commit suicide and carry that out? I know suicide is higher in dissociative disorders. Is this how it manifests, do you think? Or is it really the core(s) wanting to just end it all for all the others?


    Some times it's like that. I have nightmares that my mother is still alive. Some times in a dream somebody knocks at the door and I open it and there she is, she's back and fully intends to take over. Usually results in waking up in a panic with lots of tears.
    So your mother is dead.

    Connections are fuzzy at times but I'm semi co-conscious with most. I'm the oldest right now and have awareness of the others but some times it's a blurry link, I don't know the others entirely and when they switch in and I'm in the back it's kind of like watching somebody else from inside their head and I kind of have a vague recollection of what transpired during that time.
    I can actually imagine this.


    It seems like an interesting read. I might like to read it myself.
    I cannot wait.




    Thanks so much. I'm soooo happy to talk about this after all these years of researching it and dealing with it with my friends.

    Yeah. It's said that everybody dissociates a little bit. It's just not often this defined.
    Hmm. Yeah, I think I might do it in a very very minor way sometimes, when my mind is faced with something I cannot incorporate.
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    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  5. #35
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Seraphs are those things in the bible, aren't they? Like angels or something?
    Yeah, kind of an ironic name isn't it?

    When you say 'we' you are speaking of yourselves? Or other people outside yourself?
    Insiders yup.

    So the others would step back when she needed to 'come forward' and let her have her time? What words do you use to describe it?
    It's difficult to describe. It's just... suddenly being somebody else. There's no words for it because most people can't relate to it. Some times it is accompanied by dizziness, light headedness, or disorientation. Maybe even headaches.

    Somehow, inside, doesn't the core(s) know what is happening and won't it usually rise up and stop before serious harm can be inflicted? I mean you personally, not just in general, though if you know in general, that is good to state as well. Could others (is this the best term to use?) really want to commit suicide and carry that out? I know suicide is higher in dissociative disorders. Is this how it manifests, do you think? Or is it really the core(s) wanting to just end it all for all the others.
    I'm not entirely sure. I think it might be a dangerous assumption. I think one of the biggest problems with this are involuntary switches, or even completely forced takovers. It's a hell of a thing especially when you're trying to fight it and your head becomes a jumbled mess. Has led to sleepless nights where everything is just churning and spinning and I want to throw up or collapse into myself.

    So your mother is dead.
    Yup. Got doped up and crashed the car, she did.

    Thanks so much. I'm soooo happy to talk about this after all these years of researching it and dealing with it with my friends.
    No problem. I don't usually discuss it much because people find it to be an odd thing, but the mind is really quite amazing with what it can do so it's worth talking about when somebody is actually interested.

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