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  1. #71
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    And to tie this back into the thread topic... I suppose we are still trying to decide whether this thread blows Victor's idea out of the water (i.e., sometimes an insult is just an insult), or is this an attempt by one person to drag another down to the level they feel that they've been relegated to?
    Kinda seems like one person using the thread topic as an excuse to air their dirty laundry, and then have a fuck-the-system, I-can-name-call-if-I-want, how-dare-you-tell-me-what-to-do forum meltdown.

    @Jennifer and @SilkRoad: I'd recommend stepping away from this and letting it be. LS can't bait people if there's no one to bait.

    I haven't read the whole thread yet but I'll edit this post with a response to the actual topic, once I've gotten through it.



    Edit:
    I agree with the OP about certain types of insults, but not all. From my experience, unless you're in a REALLY fucked-up community, people don't use the sorts of insults that make you internalize your worthlessness, as a way to bring community members together. But I do agree with @fia that your insults can project your own insecurities onto others. A mother could have an eating disorder, insult her daughter's normal figure by calling her ugly/fat/etc, and give her daughter all of her issues that way. Same with unhealthy friendships/relationships. But I can't think of any instances of the OP with healthy communities or healthy relationships -- unless the insults are so casual that they are made meaningless. No matter how much my foul-mouthed friends say "fuck you" to me, I'm never going to think they actually dislike me, because I know them, I know their slang, I know how to read their intentions.

    Reading @Victor's later posts, I'm wondering if he's trying to imply that all "tribes" are based around insults? I'm not really seeing that, but I'm curious as to how that would work... and how a tribe NOT based on insults would work.
    Quote Originally Posted by Snoopy22 View Post
    many insults are an effort to lower someone you believe is superior then yourself.
    Exactly.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
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  2. #72
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Oh. Just saw this. I was on my cell earlier.



    That's why I challenged your ignorance in the political thread. If you're going to come into a conversation with belligerent cynicism, then I'm going to push on you. I was hoping there would be something in there to support the comments you were making, but... no.

    Apparently you didn't like that?
    And that's why it pisses me off. Belligerent cynicism? (Nice insult by the way) I didn't even know I was coming off that way to you. And I certainly was not motivated by that or trying to be that way. I would have conceded anything you would have provided to show I was being ignorant (and I did before I realized you weren't even listening to me), but it's so hard to talk about anything when the first reaction people have is to deny that I know anything at all and then create some idea of my motivations. I can be over-zealous when I'm concerned, especially if people won't listen; perhaps then, if I'm to be misreading you, you can misread me.

    I don't know why this is such a hard thing for people communicate without making things into a competition. That's not what I want, but I'm done. Guard's up and it's staying that way.


    I think calling someone publicly a cunt and a piece of shit in a conversation they weren't even part of to be pretty insulting, yes. That's not relational rocket science.
    I didn't even call you a cunt. I used the word IF. Now unless that means you admit to liking to provoke people as you encourage provocative ideas that provoke people, then yeah, you could say I was, but it still doesn't make it an insult because I'm telling you what I consider a cunt and using it that way. You guys and yours words man, it's the meaning intended behind them that matters, not some vague label of "insult".

    And same thing for "piece of shit". Telling someone they freaked out is pretty insulting and I you got how I felt about you for that, but since we're only going by Queen Ivy's declarations, I guess you're off the hook.

  3. #73
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Every once in a while, a typoc member wakes up and realizes that it is a good day to get a free ban.

    It's kind of cute, if you think about it.

  4. #74
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Kinda seems like one person using the thread topic as an excuse to air their dirty laundry, and then have a fuck-the-system, I-can-name-call-if-I-want, how-dare-you-tell-me-what-to-do forum meltdown.

    @Jennifer and @SilkRoad: I'd recommend stepping away from this and letting it be. LS can't bait people if there's no one to bait.

    I haven't read the whole thread yet but I'll edit this post with a response to the actual topic, once I've gotten through it.
    Greetings, friend. So nice of you to use condescension and insults and share your pathetically uninformed and incorrect opinion of my intentions and motivations. Bad for bad, fire for fire, pain for pain, blood for blood. Two negatives don't always make a positive. Talk what you preach brother and it'll have more of an impact.

  5. #75
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    Greetings, friend. So nice of you to use condescension and insults and share your pathetically uninformed and incorrect opinion of my intentions and motivations. Bad for bad, fire for fire, pain for pain, blood for blood. Two negatives don't always make a positive. Talk what you preach brother and it'll have more of an impact.
    Try as you might, you cannot get me to engage you.

    This will be the last time I respond to one of your posts, until you start addressing the topic at hand.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #76
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Every once in a while, a typoc member wakes up and realizes that it is a good day to get a free ban.

    It's kind of cute, if you think about it.
    It's cute how all these people who know nothing about me and I've never even chatted with before suddenly have an opinion about my person. That's pretty cute too, if you think about it.

  7. #77
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Try as you might, you cannot get me to engage you.
    Well, that's too bad because it already happened.

    This will be the last time I respond to one of your posts, until you start addressing the topic at hand.
    Funny how you are all holier than thou off-topic, one minute, and now telling me I should address the topic. Well, I did pal, and if you haven't said anything before topic-related, looks like you're the black sheep here and not me. Nice try though.

  8. #78
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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  9. #79
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    And that's why it pisses me off. Belligerent cynicism? (Nice insult by the way)
    Case in point. That was not meant as an insult. It's how I perceived you. Certainly you have claimed to perceive me in some very negative ways; should I take your perception of me as such as insulting? Or just insulting in how you have chosen to interact with me?

    IOW, just take it as, "If Jenny gave me indirect shit in the political thread, then maybe she was perceiving some really negative things underlying my approach. Kind of like how I'm feeling insulted by her approach."

    I didn't even know I was coming off that way to you. And I certainly was not motivated by that or trying to be that way. I would have conceded anything you would have provided to show I was being ignorant (and I did before I realized you weren't even listening to me),
    I did listen more than you seemed to have picked up, but maybe that did not come across. I thought it had. Sorry.

    As I've stated in other political discussion over time, I'm more of a centrist who ended up support democrats in the last few years, and I'm really tired of the kind of cynical attitudes I've heard off Fox News and all that kind of shit. When someone approaches a conversation with a similar negativity, my first response can be, "Oh, god, not THIS again." Sorry my recall is off, so I no longer remember the details of that conversation, but I felt as if you had come into that conversation with an already-determined view and were just fishing for information to support it, while pretending to ask questions. So my response at core was negative; that happens to be one of my pet values.

    but it's so hard to talk about anything when the first reaction people have is to deny that I know anything at all and then create some idea of my motivations. I can be over-zealous when I'm concerned, especially if people won't listen; perhaps then, if I'm to be misreading you, you can misread me.
    It sounds like I did. I'm sorry if I did. I get stressed during political season anyway.

    I don't know why this is such a hard thing for people communicate without making things into a competition. That's not what I want, but I'm done. Guard's up and it's staying that way.
    You don't need to let your guard down, but I appreciate you explaining

    I didn't even call you a cunt. I used the word IF.
    I will concede that point; but to me, that's just how people play the game and everyone really knows what is being said. I've seen it time and again on the forum -- someone who just adheres to the letter of the rule to escape discipline, while meanwhile obviously still saying what they think of the other person.

    Now unless that means you admit to liking to provoke people as you encourage provocative ideas that provoke people, then yeah, you could say I was, but it still doesn't make it an insult because I'm telling you what I consider a cunt and using it that way. You guys and yours words man, it's the meaning intended behind them that matters, not some vague label of "insult".
    Step back and look at it big picture for a moment... was there any reason to drag the word "cunt" into that discussion AT ALL? Aside from you being pissed and thinking in your head that I was being a major cunt? It's not a word that gets tossed in, and never even had to be. It's just a provocation.

    That was the meaning behind your words that I perceived.


    And same thing for "piece of shit". Telling someone they freaked out is pretty insulting and I you got how I felt about you for that, but since we're only going by Queen Ivy's declarations, I guess you're off the hook.
    I guess I see a different between saying someone freaked out (because that's a quantifiable thing -- you can watch someone freak out), and simply tossing out an insulting like "piece of shit." You seem to personalize a lot more than I do, just by your nature. (No judgment, just stating what seems clear to me.) Believe it or not, the insults HALF roll off my back... on some level it bugs me to hear words like that tossed at me, but I was more annoyed at the thought that the rules might be inconsistently applied, and we have these rules that are not enforced well. That really bugs me. If I was on a forum where there are no such rules, I would have probably just ignored the comments altogether.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Yeah, and what are YOU smiling at, Mr. Tardypants??

    If you want to play, you need to come earlier next time.
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  10. #80
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I'd recommend stepping away from this and letting it be. LS can't bait people if there's no one to bait.
    The last exchange was actually an exchange. So we'll see. But thank you for thinking of me, that's always an option that I'm likely to pursue if things go poorly.

    I agree with the OP about certain types of insults, but not all. From my experience, unless you're in a REALLY fucked-up community, people don't use the sorts of insults that make you internalize your worthlessness, as a way to bring community members together.
    yeah. They would be aware of the impact of their words and wouldn't want to go there.

    But I do agree with Fia that your insults can project your own insecurities onto others. A mother could have an eating disorder, insult her daughter's normal figure by calling her ugly/fat/etc, and give her daughter all of her issues that way. Same with unhealthy friendships/relationships. But I can't think of any instances of the OP with healthy communities or healthy relationships -- unless the insults are so casual that they are made meaningless. No matter how much my foul-mouthed friends say "fuck you" to me, I'm never going to think they actually dislike me, because I know them, I know their slang, I know how to read their intentions.
    Well, that's true. I mean, I can get rather foul-mouthed with close friends, and we can call each other some pretty bad things, etc.,... and then we laugh because we're all just joking around with each other. If I wasn't so close to them, I'd be afraid my comments would be misconstrued and would never ever risk that. The joke is more about how outrageous and socially inappropriate we can be with each other, yet still know it's all a game.

    I'm wondering if he's trying to imply that all "tribes" are based around insults? I'm not really seeing that, but I'm curious as to how that would work... and how a tribe NOT based on insults would work.
    I missed his latter comments. I had viewed his original comments more like Fia's assessment, where an individual who cannot ingratiate themselves into the group begins to label the group negatively to drag them back into (And/or label them as part of) THEIR circle... thus providing some type of experienced connection even if it is negative. But maybe that wasn't correct? The idea in itself is still something I'm pondering.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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