To anyone who has ever been depressed long term and has come out of it: Do you ever miss it? Has it ever brought you any sentimental value?
I've been starting to come out of depression recently, I don't know how it happened, but I'm guessing that it had to do with the increased alcohol consumption (which, ironically enough, is a depressant) that started giving me a more confident attitude (I started messaging people on dating sites, for Christ's sake -- of course, I was drunk drunque when I did it, but still, I got some responses), but I sorta miss having complaining about. I found it to be a creative stimulant of sorts. Do you ever get that way?
Funny you say that - I've heard it said that some artists/musicians lose their 'spark' when they;re no longer unhappy.
"____'s albums were better when they were miserable."
Sadness, like feelings of grief, can push me to find a creative way to deal with it, certainly, but I don't miss the sharp edges of new pain, by any means.
Depression, on the other hand- utter hopelessness- I couldn't channel creatively, after a certain point. Start thinking what IS the point. And just stand still internally, letting it creep over, like kudzu vines, trapped/suffocated. I do not miss that feeling. As a highly future-oriented person, falling into the belief that there's
no future for me, is a dangerous place.
I imagine some people get more concrete creative things out there when they're unsettled or unhappy, because they are, in essence, standing still, with these unhappy thoughts. Plenty of space and time to mull them over- analyze, analyze, analyze. When we're happy and moving forward, perhaps we pay less attention. Give less pause. Feel less alone with it, less of a need to further process the emotions.
I wouldn't say it'd be any more or less difficult to channel positive energy in a similarly creative way, that one does with the negative. Just have to consciously consider, perhaps.
Glad to hear you're in a better place
- mind you don't let yourself get dependent on the booze for liquid courage, though.
(& don't mind the Fe-mothering, I can't shut it up) - In all seriousness though, take care of yourself. I can understand the drive to experiment with different mindstates, but be careful not to fall into making it a habit. You see you are capable of interacting with people with confidence, at least- it's not an impossibility- which means you don't necessarily, absolutely
require the presence of alcohol in your system to call upon that confidence. It's in there, somewhere. Just have to bring that not-giving-a-fuckery outward. Like I said, take care of yourself. Self value & looking after one's health go hand in hand with the authentic confidence you're striving to summon up/maintain.
The general principle behind medicating with anything is that it offers therapeutic effects on a
temporary basis, only. Anything beyond that becomes a serious health risk, & will diminish your overall quality of life, over time. Any benefits are far outweighed by the costs. Not trying to lecture you - you're an intelligent person; I'm sure these concepts are not foreign to you. Just throwing this out there, as a caring friend.
Sometimes it helps to be reminded, I suppose.
