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  1. #11
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    No answer! Well. Replace the tests with some respectable source of information, and think again.

    Imagine you realize your confidence being lower than the situation would warrant. You immediately adjust your confidence up a notch and start living bravely and proudly, being successful in many new tasks. If confidence is just information based self-evaluation, becoming aware of it would facilitate immediate correction.

    Then there's the camp that promotes high confidence as just something required, never mind if you've got nothing to be confident about. High confidence is seen as a tool that enables a person to start difficult tasks and persist, while enjoying their time doing them.

    No wonder it's recommended for all. Never mind that unreasonably confident, mentally blind individuals can be a major pain in the butt. It's others that suffer, the one with high confidence will happily disregard evidence pointing to their failure.

    I got sidetracked. I wasn't looking for self-help, but Edahn seems to have a clue. Low confidence might really be a belief of failure, blessing the person's habits of non-action and giving them comfort in not trying.
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  2. #12
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Santtu what isn't wrong with everyone? Seems to me that we're all bi-polar or have ADD. Haven't you heard? It's all the rage!

    Seriously if you have a mood disorder (you've mentioned this before) then visiting a psychiatrist and getting a prescription for an antidepressant might not be a bad idea. I take lexapro and while it doesn't change who I am, I find it smooths me out a bit. I take 5 mg's but I believe the usual dosage is 10 or 20 mg's.

    Oh and fwiw I don't think you look average. As for poor finances, you're a smart man and I'm sure if you make a plan to achieve career wise you can change that.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  3. #13
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    Santtu what isn't wrong with everyone? Seems to me that we're all bi-polar or have ADD. Haven't you heard? It's all the rage!

    Seriously if you have a mood disorder (you've mentioned this before) then visiting a psychiatrist and getting a prescription for an antidepressant might not be a bad idea. I take lexapro and while it doesn't change who I am, I find it smooths me out a bit. I take 5 mg's but I believe the usual dosage is 10 or 20 mg's.
    I've done a few visits to a psychiatrist lately to help me finally overcome the last influences of my recent burnout. Seems like I've recovered as a healthy person now, i.e. not needing to be diagnosed with any problem whatsoever. Yippee! The mood disorder possibility was ruled out.

    I think I just have it in my recent memory to have too little mental reserves to finish tasks, which has given me appropriately low confidence. Now that I've been able to work almost fully for about a month, I guess I'll gradually learn to trust my abilities and to recover my self confidence.

    I'm more interested about the concept and measurement of self-confidence, and what it is tied to. Less so about getting help for the issue, tho thanks for everyone for that kind of help, too
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #14
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    So you don't suffer from manic episodes now and then? Obviously I don't know you irl but I do see a pattern with you. This is not a personal attack btw just trying to help.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  5. #15
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    So you don't suffer from manic episodes now and then? Obviously I don't know you irl but I do see a pattern with you. This is not a personal attack btw just trying to help.
    Yeah, the professional didn't see my current or life long behavior patterns corresponding to any diagnostic criteria when we studied them together. I once had a period in my life that raised suspicion in one professional, but it checked out false.

    I've just been an A-type person, taxing my mental reserves too much and suffered the consequences, like burnout and depression. There doesn't seem to be any underlying condition which would force me to act that way in the future, so I choose not to I think I just experience the usual struggles of life at the moment.

    And manic episodes? No.
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  6. #16
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Btw, get this thread back on topic! Why do we measure self-confidence, and what relevance does it have to the world? What is appropriate amount of self-confidence, or is better to have as much as possible?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #17
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Okay SJ. Over and out. ;P
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  8. #18
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    Okay SJ. Over and out. ;P


    Ah, it's Dana who started the helping spree :steam:
    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    Daily exercise, meditation, and activity will help to wash away your concerns with your Self.


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #19
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    Yet I'm interested about measurement, and the optimum self-confidence. Not for myself, I got that covered. But.. people don't think about optimum self-confidence in U.S. culture, do they?
    Yes, and they push hard for it. It's a sad sight, actually. I think many Americans, especially males, feel ashamed for not being confident. There's a tremendous pressure to be successful and attractive and confidence is a component. The irony is the shaming aspect. IMO, confidence is won by acceptance more than by change.

    As far as measurement... we can measure it any way we want and conjure up any construct we wish. It's arbitrary (though it tries to capture something, admittedly). Self-reports about self-confidence are almost useless for the reason above: people's egos will distort information when it rises to a conscious level to match their hopes and ideal selves, while, ironically, a person who has growing self-confidence might be more likely to admit that he or she isn't fully self-confident. I guess that leads back to the question or what self-confidence is -- an acceptance of one's limited potential, or maximum potential? I think it's the former, but Western society and the media give off the impression that it's the latter.

    Optimum level? That question disappears if you think of confidence as a realistic appraisal and acceptance of one's abilities. Your dilemma only comes up when there's a disparity between those two, and in my mind, that only happens when people are anxious about something (such as not being confident) and are trying to force themselves into a confident frame of mind. That contradicts the entire notion of acceptance and will always lead back to self-distortion as a means of avoiding difficult feelings. The avoidance/pursuit game stands in contrast to the acceptance game. One is genuine confidence, the other is just insecurity trying to disguise itself. (IMO.)

  10. #20
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    I feel like a regular average Joe, with average looks, poor finances and low to average popularity. Spending some of my moderately miserable time in teh intarwebs, I stumble upon two tests, which I answer just like I feel at the moment.
    You create your own reality. Your conscious mind represents about 5% of total cognition. The other 95% is where the trouble is. People experience the world through models. Right now you are experiencing the world through a model that features a version of yourself with low self-esteem. In this model you see yourself as an average Joe, with average looks, poor finances and low to average popularity. And your post suggests that you seek some validation from the group. You should be looking to create that validation in yourself.

    There was some fascinating research done that shows how amputees can experience phantom pain in their amputated limbs. One guy had his hand amputated but had a persistent feeling that his fingernails in the amputated hand were digging into the hand and causing excruciating pain. The researcher rigged up a kind of mirror box which the guy (amputee) put his other hand into to give the appearance that his amputated hand was in-tact--the pain disappeared. The pain returned when he removed his hand from the mirror box. This shows how there is a disconnect between what goes on in the subconscious mind and what people think in the conscious mind.

    Try to create an image of yourself that is strong, confident and happy. Develop a mental picture. Keep working on the picture to make it stronger. The picture is for your subconscious mind. Talk to yourself aloud and reassure yourself with confident and positive affirmations.

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