What gives anyone the right to be unhappy when there always someone worse off?

[miss fortune]

by the logic of the OP, why do all of those miserable fuckers in dire straits have a right to be unhappy when there's so much awesome stuff in the world?

what applies to one doesn't always apply to the other... I've been through some tough shit in my life and have hit points where I genuinely believed that the world would be a better place without me in it if I could find a way to off myself and make it look like an accident to insurance investigators. I'd had some pretty terrible things happen to lead me there... did I think that other people should feel miserable just because I was? no... I wanted them to go on with their lives and be happy and I think that a lot of people who've genuinely hit such a point think the same way from those I've discussed it with... why should my unhappiness cloud everyone else's lives?

live your own life... it's really all that you can do... be happy if you're happy- you owe it to yourself and those who aren't

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

The fact that it's relative.

 

[miss fortune]

The fact that it's relative.

but what if it's your relatives who are making you unhappy?

 

[ptgatsby]

but what if it's your relatives who are making you unhappy?

Then you better object! (Hah. Hah.)

 

[Poki]

The title has got to be one of the stupidest things I have heard. Everyone has the right to there own feelings. Sounds like a frickin emotional control freak on the loose. My opinion on how strong you are though will be based off of how much you can handle.

 

[/DG/]

The title has got to be one of the stupidest things I have heard. Everyone has the right to there own feelings. Sounds like a frickin emotional control freak on the loose. My opinion on how strong you are though will be based off of how much you can handle.

I know it sounds stupid, but it's something that I've always felt a little guilty about.

Warning! Boring story below. Read at your own risk.
I used to have a friend who would cry often. At one point, we were both in a situation where we were shunned by certain people. We were also forced to be around them and almost interact with them to a degree, so it was difficult to ignore them. Now, she had it a bit worse than me in that she was also openly mocked behind their backs and they were very rude to her. In addition, she is also battling a chronic (not life-threatening) illness and her family has financial issues. I had a few things said to my face, but otherwise I was not aware too much mocking behind my back (although I actually recently found out about a few things they said about me). Every so often, my friend would break down and cry...sometimes even in front of them. I would be angry at what they did too, but I wouldn't exactly show it. I would tend to feel bad for her and feel like she has much more to be unhappy about in life than me and that I didn't have the "right" to be unhappy.

 

[Salomé]

I'm with Jivinjeffjones on that one--I have every right to be happy even though people have much better situations than I do. I'm not responsible for the happiness, or lack thereof, of others, so I don't feel their weight the same as I feel my own. What triggers my happiness and unhappiness is different from others. If I spent all day dick-measuring everything and everyone in the world I'd find that I amount to nothing really. Nothing would matter. I wouldn't care if I got mistreated in the work place because there are women who cannot work. I wouldn't feel happy helping others because so many went without my help. I couldn't take any satisfaction out of sex because there are eunuchs in the world. It'd be a vast blob of nothingness and I'd be a robot and slave to my own contest.

Luckily, however, I don't compare myself to others, so I have a array of emotions at my disposal.

Wow. How very... American of you.

I know it sounds stupid, but it's something that I've always felt a little guilty about.

Warning! Boring story below. Read at your own risk.
I used to have a friend who would cry often. At one point, we were both in a situation where we were shunned by certain people. We were also forced to be around them and almost interact with them to a degree, so it was difficult to ignore them. Now, she had it a bit worse than me in that she was also openly mocked behind their backs and they were very rude to her. In addition, she is also battling a chronic (not life-threatening) illness and her family has financial issues. I had a few things said to my face, but otherwise I was not aware too much mocking behind my back (although I actually recently found out about a few things they said about me). Every so often, my friend would break down and cry...sometimes even in front of them. I would be angry at what they did too, but I wouldn't exactly show it. I would tend to feel bad for her and feel like she has much more to be unhappy about in life than me and that I didn't have the "right" to be unhappy.

Where do you get these ideas about the "rights" and wrongs of emotion?
This is not an intellectual / ethical argument. It is a neurotic one.

 

[A window to the soul]

Pretty cool. I see a reframing of the mind trick. The question is a catalyst to happiness, when happiness is only an attitude adjustment away.

It's nothing to get alarmed about, folks. Happiness is win.

 

[EvidenceOfRedemption]

That's easy... there's always someone better off.

 

[/DG/]

Where do you get these ideas about the "rights" and wrongs of emotion?
This is not an intellectual / ethical argument. It is a neurotic one.

It's illogical, I know. I do/think a lot of illogical things.

 

[A window to the soul]

Wow. How very... American of you.

[MENTION=4939]kyuuei[/MENTION] has solid boundaries. It's a sign of maturity, as it's a higher brain (cortex) function. If one's cortex isn't functioning properly, they'll have some difficulty respecting others.

And it's difficult to sustain happiness with weak boundaries. Just food for thought.

 

[Isis]

So let me ask you this:

How would these people react if they were given their dreams?

They might say God sent them these gifts, but would they be happier with them now then without them?

I mean was that smile when they had nothing truly representing happiness?

I feel like this is a philosophical question because you imply that having things equates to happiness. I am saying happiness is a mindset, a spiritual place- a journey to your death because each day we are closer to it. You cannot take things with you. Yes, you need to eat and survive - but to me- nourishment to the soul does not require anything material that anyone can take away from you. I am not saying I do not get sad, angry, frustrated etc. I do. But my sad periods do not last. Or I do not wallow in sadness. I put it in perspective as quickly as I can and try to find what the positive in my situation is. What the LESSON in my situation is. Perhaps God made me break my leg because he actually prevented me from having a head-on collision the next day and dying. It is the perspective that you view life that makes a big difference in your attitude and happiness level.

I grieved a close loved one for many years. The first year was a grip of a constant state of grief. At times, I just wanted to be dead too- simply to be with my loved one because I missed him so much. But I pushed through this experience with my connection to the Almighty God. I accepted that this was my loved one's fate and that I did not have a choice in the matter. And I strived each day to overcome the sadness. And eventually I did.

I guess I am asking people to just think about some of the things I'm saying here and try not to get so defensive about it. And if you are not spiritual or do not believe in a higher power- then we might be speaking two different languages- and further conversation on this topic is futile. And that's okay. But I state very confidently that a true faith in God keeps me in an overall state of happiness and optimism- even when faced with the most trying difficulties.

 

[Isis]

Faith is not a choice. It is a delusion.

And your position on the existence of God / faith is your choice and I respect that.

My position is He absolutely exists- and when your mind, heart and soul open up to that possibility- He proves it to you in so many ways. It's my belief that when you keep your heart covered, you will never see the beautiful things that I have seen that have proven His existence to me.

So that really ends further discussion on that topic with us- because I'm a person of faith and take a faith-based perspective to everything in my life. And you are not a faith-based person and feel faith is a delusion.

So we part friends and that's that.

 

[Salomé]

It's illogical, I know. I do/think a lot of illogical things.

Ah, ok. As long as you know that. You presented the OP as if you were genuinely troubled by this question.

It's a sign of maturity, as it's a higher brain (cortex) function. If one's cortex isn't functioning properly, they'll have some difficulty respecting others.

It's the kind of argument a narcissist would make.

That it appeals to you isn't surprising.

I guess you understand that you just called racists mentally defective? If so, we agree on that much.

So that really ends further discussion on that topic with us- because I'm a person of faith and take a faith-based perspective to everything in my life. And you are not a faith-based person and feel faith is a delusion.

OK. But that wasn't my main point. My point is that faith is NOT a choice. If it were, I, for one, would choose it. Unfortunately, my mental powers are too acute and discriminating to afford me that luxury.

You said happiness is a choice and used faith as support for that. If faith is not a choice then your argument is invalid.

 

[Isis]

OK. But that wasn't my main point. My point is that faith is NOT a choice. If it were, I, for one, would choose it. Unfortunately, my mental powers are too acute and discriminating to afford me that luxury.

You said happiness is a choice and used faith as support for that. If faith is not a choice then your argument is invalid.

I challenge that thinking as my mental powers are also quite acute and discriminating. I am a deep thinker with a sense of logic and reason. What some strong thinkers sometimes neglect though is to listen to their HEARTS. They think if they can only see it and touch it- that is the only true logic that makes sense. I challenge that unequivocally. You have as a human- and a smart human- even greater potential to understand beyond the logical limits you have imposed upon yourself. You see the world as concrete and fixed? (Or no?) I see it as an absolute illusion with possibilities that are endless.

 

[A window to the soul]

Ah, ok. As long as you know that. You presented the OP as if you were genuinely troubled by this question.

It's the kind of argument a narcissist would make.

That it appeals to you isn't surprising.

I guess you understand that you just called racists mentally defective? If so, we agree on that much.
OK. But that wasn't my main point. My point is that faith is NOT a choice. If it were, I, for one, would choose it. Unfortunately, my mental powers are too acute and discriminating to afford me that luxury.

You said happiness is a choice and used faith as support for that. If faith is not a choice then your argument is invalid.

Are you done?

 

[Poki]

And your position on the existence of God / faith is your choice and I respect that.

My position is He absolutely exists- and when your mind, heart and soul open up to that possibility- He proves it to you in so many ways. It's my belief that when you keep your heart covered, you will never see the beautiful things that I have seen that have proven His existence to me.

So that really ends further discussion on that topic with us- because I'm a person of faith and take a faith-based perspective to everything in my life. And you are not a faith-based person and feel faith is a delusion.

So we part friends and that's that.

Wow, from a Ti perspective what I see is a vision steered by what you want. How do you know what is real? The prior vision or the post vision where he proves it to you in so many ways? I completely understand where you are coming from, but I dont think you have a clue. Its nothing more then controlling what you see by controlling what you believe. Its a method used to trick yourself into things and to control yourself. There is a fine line between faith and stupidity. Its not as black and white as you make it out to be. God is easy to put faith in because all your doing is playing with your mind. You decide what is god, what is the devil, what is what and it all caters toward what you want. If that keeps you happy its a choice.

I get a kick out of "So we part friends and thats that"...love that godly "love thy neighbor"(being sarcastic)...this is the reason why I do not believe in all that crap...I really do not wish to have that mindset of "so we part friends and thats that"...I prefer the I believe what I believe and you believe what you believe, we can still be friends, I still want you by my side when I am on my death bed. I am damn sure god doesnt want to be the reason why people become distanced, thats a human trait in defense of your belief...definately not "godly" and if it is...the gods can kiss my ass. And yes...I know...I have the devil within me because I speak against GOD...LMAO. Sorry, I hold the people around me higher then I hold god. I am not saying none of it is true and God doesnt exist or even judging you on having faith, but people take it to "delusional" heights.


edit: the most hilarious part of all..."I walk a similiar path of helping people, not being selfish, etc."..yet I keep getting pushed away by "people of god" because "your not in our click"...LMAO...yeah...very godly.

 

[Poki]

I challenge that thinking as my mental powers are also quite acute and discriminating. I am a deep thinker with a sense of logic and reason. What some strong thinkers sometimes neglect though is to listen to their HEARTS. They think if they can only see it and touch it- that is the only true logic that makes sense. I challenge that unequivocally. You have as a human- and a smart human- even greater potential to understand beyond the logical limits you have imposed upon yourself. You see the world as concrete and fixed? (Or no?) I see it as an absolute illusion with possibilities that are endless.

One of my best friends is also a person of "faith"...I have a cross that she hung in my car because it made her feel better(until it broke, its still in my car, just not hanging). We have alot of the same beliefs(I know hard for some one to seperate beliefs and God). What this means is that I pick and choose what to believe as opposed to blind faith. I agree with alot of the stuff the bible and preachers preach, because they are beliefs. Faith is a belief all on its own and a double edged sword. I come from a "non-faith" perspective and she comes from a "faith" perspective. We end up at the same point though. Neither one of us puts it between us, we accept the other person for who they are and what they believe.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I feel like this is a philosophical question because you imply that having things equates to happiness. I am saying happiness is a mindset, a spiritual place- a journey to your death because each day we are closer to it. You cannot take things with you. Yes, you need to eat and survive - but to me- nourishment to the soul does not require anything material that anyone can take away from you. I am not saying I do not get sad, angry, frustrated etc. I do. But my sad periods do not last. Or I do not wallow in sadness. I put it in perspective as quickly as I can and try to find what the positive in my situation is. What the LESSON in my situation is. Perhaps God made me break my leg because he actually prevented me from having a head-on collision the next day and dying. It is the perspective that you view life that makes a big difference in your attitude and happiness level.

I grieved a close loved one for many years. The first year was a grip of a constant state of grief. At times, I just wanted to be dead too- simply to be with my loved one because I missed him so much. But I pushed through this experience with my connection to the Almighty God. I accepted that this was my loved one's fate and that I did not have a choice in the matter. And I strived each day to overcome the sadness. And eventually I did.

I guess I am asking people to just think about some of the things I'm saying here and try not to get so defensive about it. And if you are not spiritual or do not believe in a higher power- then we might be speaking two different languages- and further conversation on this topic is futile. And that's okay. But I state very confidently that a true faith in God keeps me in an overall state of happiness and optimism- even when faced with the most trying difficulties.

So what do you mean by having nothing, but still smiling?

 

[Il Morto Che Parla]

The question in the OP is too far outside of my understanding of logic and morality, that I cannot even answer it, because the terms of debate seem meaningless to me.

One person's rights end where another's begin. rights are to do with relations between people, and concrete actions.

Why do you need a "right" to feel a certain way inside yourself? It is nobody else's business.