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  1. #21
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    I agree; however just because people say they do not want something (or want something) does not mean they actually behave that way. Some people certainly seem to give it up willingly and are often unhappy when given independence.
    This is more of what I have seen with people. There certainly are people who don't want to make decisions and want to be dependent. They just won't say so. They simply let or seek out someone who desires control do so with their lives (think enneagram 2). This way they aren't visibly responsible for it, it's more of the force of personality of the more dominant/controlling person.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  2. #22
    Member Isis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I'm not really understanding why you're choosing to draw this distinction. Independence is both, and neither. If it wasn't a negative experience to lose independence ("deprivation"), nobody would care about whether it's an ability everyone deserves ("injustice"). But independence is also a valuable thing intrinsically, regardless of whether you're actually harmfully affected by its loss or not, and regardless of whether you think it's a human right.

    I also have never met anyone who admitted to wanting to be controlled, or not minding it, regardless of type.
    Well- the "why" I make the distinction is because I read a blog post on this topic where the writer stated they feel deprived if controlled. I sat and thought about that. As an ENFP- control is an "issue" with me I would argue more than other types perhaps. Like- we would give up a lot of things before ever giving in to that. Anyway- when I read that--- the word deprived bugged me. And it could possibly be because of the political elections of late and people pointing fingers saying, "He doesn't deserve that ... and why do they get this or that." As if we measure the "fairness" of things and feel "deprived" if we don't get our way. So I guess I am taking issue more with the feeling of people feeling deprived by others.

    I personally have a pet peeve about people worrying about what other people have or they seemingly don't have in comparison and the "it's not fair thing." I feel like the mind set itself is selfish. And then back to my original post talking about deprivation in terms of control- I also didn't see it as a deprivation thing if I were being controlled. I would see it more in terms of injustice. Like- if I were being held against my will- I wouldn't be thinking, "Oh whoa is me! I'm being deprived of my morning coffee!" No- I would think, "This is unjust and I will take my captor down once I escape."

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