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  1. #1
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    Default Hands in pockets

    Short version: How do you see people with their hands in their pockets (pants/jeans/etc. pockets, not the sweater/jacket/etc. pockets)? What is your initial thought about them? Assuming they have a neutral stance, neutral facial expression, etc..

    Long version: Recently I've been to a family member's workplace. It's a facility where they do data-entry - basically processing what's on paper to the computer. I wanted to take a look at the old tech that they are throwing out (386s, etc.). Since I'm looking for a job, today he has informed me that his workplace is hiring for something else than data-entry. When we conversed about the position, he's told me that his coworkers perceived me as very arrogant and not caring what others think. The interesting thing is that I didn't speak to any of the coworkers for more than 2 words, "How are you doing?", "Okay." for the most part. All I did was walked around with having my hands in my pockets (I was extra bored because to get to the old parts, I had to go through the "say hi to everyone" nonsense of my family member...), no facial expressions except fake happy face when they ask me how I am (hell, half of them don't even know my name!). He's also said that I was perceived as such when I was sitting still with my head down at a funeral (had my reasons to not say "it's a waste of time," they paid off ). I was sitting just like anyone else, some of them were looking around, and I know that my head was down during the "sitting at the casket" process (is it called mourning in English?), as I don't remember his co-workers.

    Since he likes to complain and exaggerate things (or even make them up) about his family members, my theory is that it is not, what he highlighted - hands in my pockets. He put the "you had your hands in your pockets" as something very influential and meaningful, something that made them think so. So I've started to wonder, how exactly do people perceive people with hands in their pockets? Usually I don't do that, only when I'm as bored as I was then or when I'm cold...

    Extra points: A story at least remotely related to this one.

  2. #2
    your resident asshole
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    I typically have my hands in my pants pockets or my sweater pockets and I know I don't come off as arrogant, nor am I actually arrogant (except for maybe on the Internet).

  3. #3
    Senior Member LEGERdeMAIN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typoz View Post
    Short version: How do you see people with their hands in their pockets (pants/jeans/etc. pockets, not the sweater/jacket/etc. pockets)? What is your initial thought about them? Assuming they have a neutral stance, neutral facial expression, etc..
    meek, introverted, lost in thought, has something valuable in pocket and feels the need to keep hand in to "protect" valuable item(s), has personal preference to have two hands in pocket rather than one or none, self-conscious about hands. I'm sure I could come up with more, enjoys playing pocket pong.

    Long version: Recently I've been to a family member's workplace. It's a facility where they do data-entry - basically processing what's on paper to the computer. I wanted to take a look at the old tech that they are throwing out (386s, etc.). Since I'm looking for a job, today he has informed me that his workplace is hiring for something else than data-entry. When we conversed about the position, he's told me that his coworkers perceived me as very arrogant and not caring what others think. The interesting thing is that I didn't speak to any of the coworkers for more than 2 words, "How are you doing?", "Okay." for the most part. All I did was walked around with having my hands in my pockets (I was extra bored because to get to the old parts, I had to go through the "say hi to everyone" nonsense of my family member...), no facial expressions except fake happy face when they ask me how I am (hell, half of them don't even know my name!). He's also said that I was perceived as such when I was sitting still with my head down at a funeral (had my reasons to not say "it's a waste of time," they paid off ). I was sitting just like anyone else, some of them were looking around, and I know that my head was down during the "sitting at the casket" process (is it called mourning in English?), as I don't remember his co-workers.

    Since he likes to complain and exaggerate things (or even make them up) about his family members, my theory is that it is not, what he highlighted - hands in my pockets. He put the "you had your hands in your pockets" as something very influential and meaningful, something that made them think so. So I've started to wonder, how exactly do people perceive people with hands in their pockets? Usually I don't do that, only when I'm as bored as I was then or when I'm cold...

    Extra points: A story at least remotely related to this one.
    I've been told I'm arrogant because I am, sometimes, arrogant, never for putting my hands in my pocket. Once I was a kid and my grandmother told me to keep my hands out of my pockets because it made me look like I was unhappy. I was sitting outside a fitting room for about 30 minutes waiting for her to try on clothes and the chair was terribly uncomfortable - plastic, no arm rests - so I kept my hands in my pockets because I had nothing to fiddle with and I was tired of sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair with no arm rests with my hands in my lap or hanging down like an ape. You shouldn't keep your hands in your pockets at family gatherings, it makes you seem unwelcoming. I wouldn't perceive it as arrogance though.
    “Some people will tell you that slow is good – but I’m here to tell you that fast is better. I’ve always believed this, in spite of the trouble it’s caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba…”


  4. #4
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Keeps hands warm. It rains a lot in Seattle.

  5. #5
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    I would have thought only heavy Se users would care to even notice such rubbish as who has their hands in their pockets or who is wearing what and pretty much a whole other random bunch of retarded observations.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by LEGERdeMAIN View Post
    I've been told I'm arrogant because I am, sometimes, arrogant, never for putting my hands in my pocket. Once I was a kid and my grandmother told me to keep my hands out of my pockets because it made me look like I was unhappy. I was sitting outside a fitting room for about 30 minutes waiting for her to try on clothes and the chair was terribly uncomfortable - plastic, no arm rests - so I kept my hands in my pockets because I had nothing to fiddle with and I was tired of sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair with no arm rests with my hands in my lap or hanging down like an ape. You shouldn't keep your hands in your pockets at family gatherings, it makes you seem unwelcoming. I wouldn't perceive it as arrogance though.
    Well, in this situation, there's no way I could've appeared as anything except reserved.

    Family gatherings - why does it make you unwelcoming? I mean if you shake hands and all. I don't do it, but it wouldn't appear to me if I was the guest.

    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard View Post
    I would have thought only heavy Se users would care to even notice such rubbish as who has their hands in their pockets or who is wearing what and pretty much a whole other random bunch of retarded observations.
    Why not others? I know that ISTJs and ISFJs pay a lot of attention to that kind of thing, as it's considered social norms.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typoz View Post
    Why not others? I know that ISTJs and ISFJs pay a lot of attention to that kind of thing, as it's considered social norms.
    Good point! Maybe my theory was a little off base. Still though I think there is something rather sensorish about noticing these kinds of things but maybe I'm wrong again as I could be underestimating the observation powers of some intuitives.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard View Post
    Good point! Maybe my theory was a little off base. Still though I think there is something rather sensorish about noticing these kinds of things but maybe I'm wrong again as I could be underestimating the observation powers of some intuitives.
    Maybe not with noticing but with perceiving. Sensors usually like social norms, intuitives usually don't.

  9. #9
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    I would say that your being perceived as arrogant had nothing to do with your hands in your pockets, and everything to do with your overall bearing. Being quiet and reserved can come across as very intimidating, or it can come across as very unfriendly. It depends on a lot of factors, especially because it lets other people project their hopes/fears on you.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  10. #10
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    Never thought about it before. Initial thoughts:

    That particular body language may communicate that one is somewhat closed-off. And one reason for being closed-off is that one thinks he's better than other people. Thus, "hands in pockets" may very well loosely translate to "arrogance" to some, whether or not it's intentional or accurate. It's just one factor of many that people would take in, though, and people can't often pinpoint all of the reasons why they get the impressions that they do.

    On the flipside, those who are arrogant or otherwise closed-off might find themselves performing gestures like that one without knowing that they're doing so.

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