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  1. #31
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    read op so more specific advice. Often if you don't speak to your coworkers the others can feel it implies that you do not consider them worth speaking to/getting to know. This is seen as not caring about them as human beings because of you view yourself as better than them. Hands in pockets is not necessarily a sign of that on its own, but in conjunction with other signals can be taken as disdain/lack of interest. You may wish to evaluate when you are getting this feedback (perhaps there are other things going on that could explain it just as well that the other person would not be aware of/that you do not feel comfortable revealing). If this is your attitude, then perhaps it is time to grow.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  2. #32
    your resident asshole
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typoz View Post
    F implies connection, S implies traditions, according to the MBTI.

    Indeed we are, therefore we should stop sometime soon.
    I thought that Fe implied connection and Si implied tradition. However, I disagree with the "tradition" thing. How does this explain younger people always wanting to go against the grain?

    Hmm...shall we continue this in a PM?

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    read op so more specific advice. Often if you don't speak to your coworkers the others can feel it implies that you do not consider them worth speaking to/getting to know. This is seen as not caring about them as human beings because of you view yourself as better than them. Hands in pockets is not necessarily a sign of that on its own, but in conjunction with other signals can be taken as disdain/lack of interest. You may wish to evaluate when you are getting this feedback (perhaps there are other things going on that could explain it just as well that the other person would not be aware of/that you do not feel comfortable revealing). If this is your attitude, then perhaps it is time to grow.
    I'm gonna be honest with you (which means that I'm not writing this to offend you) - this is one of the stupidest interpretations I've heard in my life of such behavior. This has been said to me a lot, especially when I was younger due to the fact that I was very shy and quiet. It is, however, true to some people. I've a family member to which it is true - as I was a kid, I used to spend time with him (he's a carpenter). I remember him annoying me a great deal as he required to do things his way, other ways were simply "wrong," even if they were more efficient and even increased the quality of the end-product. He often used to say that he's better than me, and now, when I meet him on some occasion, he often says that he's better than everyone else. His argument - he lived through a lot. He's an ISFJ.

    @DisneyGeek Sure.

  4. #34
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typoz View Post
    I'm gonna be honest with you (which means that I'm not writing this to offend you) - this is one of the stupidest interpretations I've heard in my life of such behavior. This has been said to me a lot, especially when I was younger due to the fact that I was very shy and quiet. It is, however, true to some people. I've a family member to which it is true - as I was a kid, I used to spend time with him (he's a carpenter). I remember him annoying me a great deal as he required to do things his way, other ways were simply "wrong," even if they were more efficient and even increased the quality of the end-product. He often used to say that he's better than me, and now, when I meet him on some occasion, he often says that he's better than everyone else. His argument - he lived through a lot. He's an ISFJ.
    I felt similarly. Unfortunately there are many people who interpret this behavior similarly. I worked in construction so I was always running up against this perception and it's the main reason I left. Unfortunately you cannot control how other people choose to perceive you, but you can alter that perception through alternate behavior. Though it may sound cliche others will often interpret you in the way that is easiest for them to conceive of you. Often this involves signalling that their interpretation is incorrect by acting in a way that they interpret as positive and that they have come to not expect from you. If you do not do this you may continue to encounter similar frustrations in the future.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    I felt similarly. Unfortunately there are many people who interpret this behavior similarly. I worked in construction so I was always running up against this perception and it's the main reason I left. Unfortunately you cannot control how other people choose to perceive you, but you can alter that perception through alternate behavior. Though it may sound cliche others will often interpret you in the way that is easiest for them to conceive of you. Often this involves signalling that their interpretation is incorrect by acting in a way that they interpret as positive and that they have come to not expect from you. If you do not do this you may continue to encounter similar frustrations in the future.
    I know. In that situation, though, I don't care what they think of me. If I'll get that position, even then they won't be my co-workers, we wouldn't even be in the same building. Just the same employer. And in general, I seldom care what others thing of me. Can't remember the last time I care about someone's full perception of me. Interpretations of little actions that impact something related to me in a negative way (physically causing damage to me - mostly this can happen in a monetarily way), I may correct the situation. I wouldn't if I would be rich though.

  6. #36
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typoz View Post
    Interesting posts.

    I think that it can look that way to fearful people - intimidating, and they can project their hatred, insecurities, fears, etc., on that person as they do not know the real reason behind it. And in this case, there was no other cues.
    The main solution to such issues is to be actively engaged with the people you're meeting. Open up a bit, don't "force" your smile, and let them interact with you. Wanna know how to do this as an introvert or quiet person? Just ask questions that indicate you're paying attention, then listen. Suddenly, no one will think you arrogant, because you listen to them, and you prove that you listen to them. Kind of tiring, but at least you don't have to say much: most people like talking about themselves.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    The main solution to such issues is to be actively engaged with the people you're meeting. Open up a bit, don't "force" your smile, and let them interact with you. Wanna know how to do this as an introvert or quiet person? Just ask questions that indicate you're paying attention, then listen. Suddenly, no one will think you arrogant, because you listen to them, and you prove that you listen to them. Kind of tiring, but at least you don't have to say much: most people like talking about themselves.
    Yeah that's what I do. It seems that some people think I'm good to talk to. If someone is talking to me I give them my attention and won't stop them, even if I don't want to be there. I just give it a minute and start to relax and eventually I don't even mind listening to them if they go on for an hour.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    The main solution to such issues is to be actively engaged with the people you're meeting. Open up a bit, don't "force" your smile, and let them interact with you. Wanna know how to do this as an introvert or quiet person? Just ask questions that indicate you're paying attention, then listen. Suddenly, no one will think you arrogant, because you listen to them, and you prove that you listen to them. Kind of tiring, but at least you don't have to say much: most people like talking about themselves.
    This is what I did when I started interacting with more people in high-school. The interaction was mainly during the sports class as I usually sat on the bench, and there's always someone else who is either sick, was sick, lazy or tired.

    That situation wasn't of this sort though, I was standing besides the family member and he simply wanted me to say hi to everyone, or to be more precise - show me to them as if I was an item of his. You know, the kind of people who say "that's my boy" when you do good and "I had nothing to do with raising him" when you do bad.

  9. #39
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typoz View Post
    F implies connection, S implies traditions, according to the MBTI.
    Strongly disagree. Fi is often the opposite of connection and Se is often the opposite of tradition.

    To answer the question, I usually walk with hands in pockets and miss them if I don't have any. I don't think I really notice what other people do, and have never thought that it reflected anyone's personality.

    On the other hand, you can get a decent idea of personality from overall body language, but that's not really based on tradition at all.
    -end of thread-

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    Strongly disagree. Fi is often the opposite of connection and Se is often the opposite of tradition.
    I think typoz just misspoke (misstyped?). We cleared this up in a PM.

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