I don't believe its right to tell anyone their feelings are wrong. One can help them develop coping strategies, but telling a child that their natural feelings are invalid can lead to all kinds of problems including feeling responsible and personal shame for abuse. This is not an excuse to coddle, but advocating a respectful balance. As far as mental health, it is important to remember that no one's experience of mental illness is exactly the same and that a label cannot contain it. That is why one wonders where self and illness begin, end, and overlap.
I like how Joshua Wolf Shenk stated it:
It is inevitable that we abbreviate and simplify. (It is apparent even in this essay that I see no way around the words "depression" and "melancholy.") But it is one thing to use shorthand while straining against the limits of language. It is quite another to mistake such brevities for the face of suffering. Each year, 17 million Americans and 100 million people worldwide experience clinical depression. What does this mean, exactly? Perhaps they all have deficits of serotonin, feel hopeless, ruminate on suicide. But why? What wrinkles crease their minds? How are they impaired? For how long—two weeks? a month each year? an entire life? And from where does this depression come?
Rather than acknowledge these variations and uncertainties, many react against them, taking comfort in language that raises the fewest questions, provokes the least fear of the unknown. Such is the case with the equation of emotional problems and mechanical failure.
The intent is not to encourage a victim mentality, but to offer those who are suffering in mental pain a way to not feel like naughty children complaining about something adults know better that isn't real. Its a shame people game the system, but that doesn't make the reality of those suffering any less valid and worth treating.