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What makes people "super-expose" their lives on social networks?

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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Only tied at bocci ball. Boo hiss.

Fia - You are pretty much right and we don't want to think about these things. I like those fast cars and also french fries. I will say this - I have never understood how people isolate themselves from their families over old grudges or other similar things.
I realize that I was taking the negative spin on society, which is one layer of what we are dealing with in our lives now.

I'm also pretty excited about the advances in technology which are making life better. The access to information via the internet is so meaningful that it would be hard for me to go back to a time without it. We have access to an almost unlimited library from our homes. This could make people more intelligent who use it as a tool. Education is being revolutionized by the new tools in ways far superior to the old classroom lecture format.

It is also possible that the social networking sites are a step towards achieving more social cohesion in our world village. It is true that the connections are not as deep as a good friend down the street, but for someone like me (and for people I know with Aspbergers and other socially limiting issues), it provides a way to connect. I mostly enjoy FB because I can click "like" on projects of fellow musicians, some very accomplished, and establish a positive reputation. I can also reconnect with people from all the places I've lived. I would never be able to think of a pretense to contact them outside of these networks.

I will have to confess that I actually don't know what people mean by "attention whoring", or why it is upsetting. When I see people post accomplishments, I especially enjoy reading about those. The only thing I personally dislike on FB is when those weird little soundbite memes (pictures involving jokes, political comments, kittens, or inspirational comments) are all that come up in the feed with some repeated many times. I think those are silly and I'd rather hear what people are doing in their lives - whether it is the laundry or recording an album. Either way it helps me to get to know people better.
 

Lark

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I will have to confess that I actually don't know what people mean by "attention whoring", or why it is upsetting. When I see people post accomplishments, I especially enjoy reading about those. The only thing I personally dislike on FB is when those weird little soundbite memes (pictures involving jokes, political comments, kittens, or inspirational comments) are all that come up in the feed with some repeated many times. I think those are silly and I'd rather hear what people are doing in their lives - whether it is the laundry or recording an album. Either way it helps me to get to know people better.

I have to confess that I'm responsible for that, moving the memes, I know that they bug the hell out of one IT professional I know who says that the web just generates these and they become traffic which over load websites and are like human generated virus.

I read some more interesting takes on them from an IT guru lately in a book entitled you are not a gadget or something like that, I sort of felt it regurgitated a lot of earlier ideas from other thinkers but they made the point that the internet has provided more means of expression than ever before but highlighted the fact that very few people have anything to say and that as a result people either circulate other peoples ideas because its easy or engage in mimicry.

There's just some of those things make me laugh or think and I share them because I hope others will have the same experience I did seeing them. Its become much more a feature of facebook now, infact I'd have said in the last three months than I've known it to be with people creating profiles which are just about a single issue or topic, almost like a blog or fan page.
 

Eilonwy

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Re: the OP: I think that all of the things you listed have always been going on and are part of human nature, it's just that now a larger amount of people are privy to them.

Analogy: Nudists don't think they are over-exposing themselves, but non-nudists would think that they are.

ETA: Also, culture and society have changed in ways that have cut off certain outlets for communicating and replaced them with others. I think [MENTION=14857]fia[/MENTION] said it better than I am (people trying to connect socially).
 
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jixmixfix

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Blogs are the same crap even on this site I notice people just write countless pages about themselves and their day and list every single detail, who really cares?. Where does this desire come from? it looks like the person is talking to themselves rather than to other people like a personal diary that has been exposed to the public.
 

sprinkles

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Actually now that I think more of it, it might have something to do with existential crisis.

So it's kind of like wanting to make connections but more about why people need the connections.

Frankly I think many people in modern society are just too busy to make anything but the most superficial of connections. This seems like a post rat race side effect.

I think another post rat race side effect is maybe a subconscious need to show that one does have a life. I could see from advertising not too long ago that society was being geared around 'always being on the go and not having time for yourself' and we're starting to realize that this isn't necessarily a good thing. It leads to burnout and people wondering why they are even alive at all, and nothing seems to have any purpose. So now I think we are seeing overcompensation for this tendency, not just among post rat race individuals but also in the way these individuals effect others socially.
 

wolfy

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Blogs are the same crap even on this site I notice people just write countless pages about themselves and their day and list every single detail, who really cares?. Where does this desire come from? it looks like the person is talking to themselves rather than to other people like a personal diary that has been exposed to the public.

I'd rather hear something about someones day than shares though. Endless shares get old fast.

I think blogs are talking to yourself for some people. It was that way for me at times when I kept a blog on here. Helped me work through thoughts.
 

Lark

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Blogs are the same crap even on this site I notice people just write countless pages about themselves and their day and list every single detail, who really cares?. Where does this desire come from? it looks like the person is talking to themselves rather than to other people like a personal diary that has been exposed to the public.

I care about the half dozen ones I read. I'm glad that people post them. They're usually pretty interesting to me.
 

Lark

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Actually now that I think more of it, it might have something to do with existential crisis.

So it's kind of like wanting to make connections but more about why people need the connections.

Frankly I think many people in modern society are just too busy to make anything but the most superficial of connections. This seems like a post rat race side effect.

I think another post rat race side effect is maybe a subconscious need to show that one does have a life. I could see from advertising not too long ago that society was being geared around 'always being on the go and not having time for yourself' and we're starting to realize that this isn't necessarily a good thing. It leads to burnout and people wondering why they are even alive at all, and nothing seems to have any purpose. So now I think we are seeing overcompensation for this tendency, not just among post rat race individuals but also in the way these individuals effect others socially.

I agree with this, I think that twitter is well named because it is people twittering away and until celebrities and people like that took it up there was not very much interesting in it and I know why.
 

Lark

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I'd rather here something about someones day than shares though. Endless shares get old fast.

I think blogs are talking to yourself for some people. It was that way for me at times when I kept a blog on here. Helped me work through thoughts.

I think so.

Although I wonder about the complaint, I've visited other forums were one or two lurkers who seem to be there all the time, I mean literally, log on in the morning they're there, log on in the even, yup, there, log on three a.m., they're there and they respond to new threads by anyone with a complaint that whoever it is has to share everything or that the threads are pointless.

That's really strange, these are people who arent moderaters either, I mean I could almost understand if it is someone who is complaining that somone is making work for them but that's not the case. It seems odd because those individuals are obviously putting in a lot of screen time, without any post in the first place they would have had no opportunity to post themselves, they could complain about others seeking attention but they are giving their attention to it and it seems to give them some satisfaction if they can confirm that their posts are being read or cause annoyance in the original poster.

Maybe its two sorts of compulsive behaviour but I'm not sure. It is a unique online behaviour too because I cant think of anyone going to a focus group in person and complaining that they've been asked to give an opinion or complaining that another has given an opinion before them.

I've got concerns about technology influencing public mood or causing individual crisis or encouraging predators and jeopardising vulnerable people, social network sites can be part of that but mobiles with cameras and the liker are as much a problem, also about the culture shifts taking place in which people will volunteer information they'd be suspiscious of governments or corporations gathering in the past. Although those are different things to what's being discussed I think, which sounds a bit more like some kind of jealousy or envy or toxic introversion.
 

prplchknz

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Blogs are the same crap even on this site I notice people just write countless pages about themselves and their day and list every single detail, who really cares?. Where does this desire come from? it looks like the person is talking to themselves rather than to other people like a personal diary that has been exposed to the public.

so i don't go postal and kill everyone i know. it's not about people caring
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I have to confess that I'm responsible for that, moving the memes, I know that they bug the hell out of one IT professional I know who says that the web just generates these and they become traffic which over load websites and are like human generated virus.

I read some more interesting takes on them from an IT guru lately in a book entitled you are not a gadget or something like that, I sort of felt it regurgitated a lot of earlier ideas from other thinkers but they made the point that the internet has provided more means of expression than ever before but highlighted the fact that very few people have anything to say and that as a result people either circulate other peoples ideas because its easy or engage in mimicry.

There's just some of those things make me laugh or think and I share them because I hope others will have the same experience I did seeing them. Its become much more a feature of facebook now, infact I'd have said in the last three months than I've known it to be with people creating profiles which are just about a single issue or topic, almost like a blog or fan page.
And I can understand why people like to quote those. I've quoted about one every few weeks. I have had one friend quote 48 in a row, but I think she was having some sort of issue that day. Often it is 90% or more of what I see, and then it does feel disappointing. I try to take a non-controlling position with people and just be happy with however they communicate, and so it doesn't bother me every time. I do like to get to know people better through that medium, and people sharing what they think, feel, and do individually is more helpful to that end. That is mostly what I was saying.
 

Lark

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And I can understand why people like to quote those. I've quoted about one every few weeks. I have had one friend quote 48 in a row, but I think she was having some sort of issue that day. Often it is 90% or more of what I see, and then it does feel disappointing. I try to take a non-controlling position with people and just be happy with however they communicate, and so it doesn't bother me every time. I do like to get to know people better through that medium, and people sharing what they think, feel, and do individually is more helpful to that end. That is mostly what I was saying.

I have only two people on ignore/blocked on Facebook, I'd forgotten about this because it was so long ago but I figured it out lately when I found one of my friends having this strange one sided conversation and realised they were talking with a third party and I worked it out.

This individual had posted a lot of things which bothered me with the express purpose of bothering me, on certain topics, a little like what Aquarelle described a while back in her blog about people sharing political messages but this was less them being themselves and more them trying to stir up a row with me. Couldnt figure why but they cornered me over my opinions and I told them exactly how I felt only to try and rally mutual friend contacts with the idea of excluding me from everyones lists, I thought it was a bit childish, they may not be in their thirties like me but they're in their twenties at least. I ignored it but didnt do anything about it until they posted some stuff on my own newsfeed which is viewable by work friends and acquaintences, I've no one from management or that I dont trust entirely on my friendslist but all the same it overstepped a mark so I barred them.

The second was an individual who was making A LOT of ill advised decisions about adding, simultaneously as it happened, senior staff or managers to their friendslist and members of the public who were known to our service or former clients of the service, no boundaries, and I was aware that one or two of them by virtue of this arrangment were viewing my profile. Which I didnt want. Not for any impropriety on my part but if you're sharing your interest in going to see a film, which can then be used as a locater, or when you're not going to be at home its best not to provide that information to people other than friends. When seniors pulled this individual up on their behaviour they told me that the bosses were going to compell everyone to wipe all online prescence, I thought the hell they are, maybe if people are acting nutsy and with no thought for boundaries but not individuals like myself and removed and blocked them. To their knowledge I now dont have a profile.

Sharing quotes and stuff is fine but I've subscribed to three of those sorts of profiles only because I imagine it would require a lot of super administrating to ensure you'd even see the updates from the core of friends you want to hear from otherwise. I'm probably the more prolific sharer and poster in my circle so its not too bad.
 

Lith

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Attention-whoring? Ego-feeding? The need of feeling important (the 15 minutes of fame)? What kind of psychological need causes this?
Attention whores yes, but approval-seekers perhaps more so. Approval is like a drug that helps mitigate any feelings of rejection or humiliation one might have floating about the psyche, so naturally it's addictive.

As far as addictions go it's pretty innocuous, though personally I don't like looking at it.
 

Rosabel

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Whoa, discussion got a little bit more serious than I thought it would...

I just want to say few more things: I really like social networks, I love seeing what's happening to in the life of my friends and acquaitances, remain in contact with them, see the things people have accomplished and done, sharing things, liking status and being vitually social too. I find it's funny.

When I find some people feeds "annoying", I just cancel their signature, easy.

In the OP, maybe I didn't explain clearly, I was questioning about some behavior that not only me, but other friends of mine find "annoying" not in the sense of causing "bad feelings" to us, but in the sense of a repetition of some behaviour, like many times a day people sharing that they are sad, then many people asking why and the poster saying "no, I won't say", or sharing about the same subject second to second (obssessively, I'm not talking about people that post and share varied things freely) even if no one like their posts or comment (even the people they tag). I find it sad to them, in some ways, and was thinking about their motives. There aren't rules, and who am I to say people what to do or not? People post on social networks what they want!
I was just thinking about as I said: their motives. Just that... ;)
 
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Mole

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As children we say quite naturally, "Look at me", as we do something new. And if our parents are able to empathise with us, our narcissistic needs are met. But if our parents are unable to empathise with us, because their own needs weren't met, we then take our unmet needs for empathy into adulthood and are constantly seeking narcissistic supply.

And so we come to social media like Central wanting the empathy we were denied as a child.

So the tragedy of social networking is that we are all looking for the validation given by empathy from the very ones unable to give it.
 

Lexicon

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This thread sums up all the reasons I refuse to ever have a Facebook account.

Seems like an immense waste of time & potential for a lot of needless bs.

I deal with enough social turmoil offline as it is, so.. no thanks.


The people who count at all know how to contact me, that's all that matters.

As for motives for the phenomenon of over exposure in terms of moment-to-moment activities.. some people just like to hear themselves speak, I think. Or feel obligated to partake in an activity they see others doing. Occasionally it might be funny [BEE IN MY ROOM!], but usually it's boring and pointless. Some people like to bitch about life just for the sake of bitching & will use any outlet to do so. They don't necessarily want anything but for others to see it &/or say something kind to them. While I can't fault anyone for that, I find that behavior exhausting to deal with, let alone read in vague eruptions of random commentary.
 

Viridian

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I mostly use my FB account as an easy way of contacting me. With one or two exceptions, I've never really added anyone myself - it happened the other way around. Admittedly, the whole "employer paranoia" thing is part of it.

Plus, I'm afraid of ending up in a White Whine entry. :aquiver:
 

Jaguar

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Desperate need for attention they never got from Momsie or Dadsie. :pacifier:
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

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Narcissism.

I think that will end up being the word for the first part of this century.
 
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