To the girls that are saying their bonds with men are stronger and that they lack bonds with women in their life..
... Do you feel the men think of the bond in the exact same way?
I really don't mean the 1 person you've bonded with your entire life and he really is a brother to you, etc. etc. And maybe the childhood friend is excluded from this too.. But in general, looking at the *majority* of your male friends where the claim is that they are more plentiful and fulfilling than your female friends, would you say that your gender has absolutely little to no influence on your relationship? Even if they treat you like a brother on the more shallow points.. do they do it to the point where they let you do things like.. say.. jump into fights, or invite you to every gathering they have as if excluding you would be excluding one of their fellow men, or other things of that nature? Does sexual attraction come into play, where they've attempted to date you, or found themselves attracted to you, or initially started the friendship out of attraction but it didnt end up being a factor for other reasons?
The only thing that ended up really holding me back from bonding with females is *my* lack of communication with them. I didn't really truly WANT to have a deep, meaningful bond with females.. so I simply never attempted it. Once I started saying that I should try it for the sake of doing so.. it turned out rather easy. The mentality was "ive never really bonded with them well before now.." and that complacency just kept rolling over year after year. I didnt like the same things they did, I didn't want to go shopping, blah blah blah. But those are all superficial and shallow aspects of it. I wouldn't say a majority of females in my life are my closest friends (We don't talk everyday.. I don't hang out with them constantly, or things like that), but I can say the only real lasting friendships in my life are from females. (I have some current friendships with males that I cannot see dying out anytime soon.. but I have thought that before in my life too, so I don't want to speak for the future.) The men tend to come, and go.. ebb and flow.. Good friendships fizzle out for no real reason, or they get caught up in a relationship, marry, and start to pour all of their emotional aspects of life into their wife and deem me useless afterwards.. whatever the reason is, its normally not malicious or bad.. they just don't really last.
Im not a girly girl, I have different tastes from many of my chick friends.. but they really do accept me for who I am just the way I am.. Something I've found rather lacking in men. If they don't want me to change or act 'lady-like' in one shape or another, it's normally out of apathy and not genuine interest in me being who I am. Even people that are attracted to my tomboyish ways and that aspect of me starts the friendship initially, they will end up disliking a piece of it that doesn't fit in their box of preconceptions. It may not be a factor that would influence a shallow, everyday relationship. But in the back of my mind, the knowledge that I am not his equal in his mind is always there. Even if, to him, we're 'separate but equal' I'm not satisfied with that. It really didn't work out for people in the past, and there's a good reason why.. No one that separates things can look at them as equal at the same time. It's not in human nature to do so.