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  1. #11
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    http://www.alternet.org/gender/why-d...acy?paging=off

    While some of the article may seem a bit cliche, I also think it rings true, for the most part. Men showing their fears and weaknesses does not bring a lot of social approval with it, even though it is critical to establishing deep, meaningful relationships.

    What say you?
    I think it's totally true. There is very little to be gained by a man showing weakness in public. It may be a different story in private (and it probably is), no matter if it is with a SO or close male friends.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  2. #12
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Further to this, I've been told that if you're a girl and a guy really opens up to you, he likely views you as more than a friend (trust, desire for vulnerability, etc). And I have also been told that if he opens up to you and reveals vulnerability, he JUST views you as a friend because if he was interested in you, he would maintain the sort of "strong" facade (to impress you) and not be inclined to the vulnerability thing.

    So which is it? Or does it really just depend on what kind of guy you're dealing with?
    I really have no idea if there's any SOP. You may as well just flip a coin.
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

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  3. #13
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    I think the article overly generalizes. Don't really like it.

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    Tri-type 639

  4. #14
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    Is this men and women or is this F vs. T?
    Same difference
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  5. #15
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    Same difference
    Only if you consider something like 60/40 to be enough to warrant that 'all' should be stereotyped by this archaic gender dichotomy. If so, then if 60% of men were gay, then all men suffer from either needing to come out of the closet or being stigmatised as gay men?

  6. #16
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Further to this, I've been told that if you're a girl and a guy really opens up to you, he likely views you as more than a friend (trust, desire for vulnerability, etc). And I have also been told that if he opens up to you and reveals vulnerability, he JUST views you as a friend because if he was interested in you, he would maintain the sort of "strong" facade (to impress you) and not be inclined to the vulnerability thing.

    So which is it? Or does it really just depend on what kind of guy you're dealing with?
    I am very interested in hearing other people's answers to this. I, for one, have more experience with the latter; the guys who have opened up to me have usually been friend-zoning me. When they're interested in me, it's taken them longer to open up.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
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  7. #17
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    Only if you consider something like 60/40 to be enough to warrant that 'all' should be stereotyped by this archaic gender dichotomy. If so, then if 60% of men were gay, then all men suffer from either needing to come out of the closet or being stigmatised as gay men?
    I was (mostly) joking. 60% of men are gay. Maybe more
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  8. #18
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post

    Men be all like this, women be all like that
    Yes, this kills me.

    I think the article makes a lot of good points. I think there are more men that actually do want to show that side of themselves but the moment they do...well, it often doesn't go over very well. It often won't happen even when they want it and their partner is open to it.

  9. #19
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    I think the man code is retarded and actually see men who try to abide by this code nothing more then a wanna be who has to have rules to follow to be a man.

    Be who you are and be proud of it. We all have a feminine side and a manly side. The man who braids his daughters hair because the mom is out of the picture is more manly then the one who refuses to because he is a "man".
    Im out, its been fun

  10. #20
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    I've had at least a few coworkers open up to me, and vice versa. It's established trust in all areas--including, of course, work. We're a lot more effective as a team. And also, it sucks for anyone to feel alone or misunderstood. I wouldn't want someone facing some serious shit to have to drag themselves into the office and put on a happy, showy face in front of me.
    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I am very interested in hearing other people's answers to this. I, for one, have more experience with the latter; the guys who have opened up to me have usually been friend-zoning me. When they're interested in me, it's taken them longer to open up.
    I could see it--especially since the guy probably thinks that he can 'open up' more to women because there's a perception that women can actually talk about that 'touchy-feely' stuff.

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