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What causes happiness?

How happy are you?

  • 10 - About as happy as a person can be

    Votes: 2 6.9%
  • 9 - I'm very happy

    Votes: 1 3.4%
  • 8 - The significant majority of time, I'm very happy

    Votes: 5 17.2%
  • 7 - I'm pretty happy but not always

    Votes: 5 17.2%
  • 6 - I'm happy about some things in my life but there are things that I'm unhappy about

    Votes: 7 24.1%
  • 5. I'm not happy or unhappy - just in the middle

    Votes: 3 10.3%
  • 4. I'm more unhappy than happy

    Votes: 2 6.9%
  • 3. I'm mostly unhappy

    Votes: 1 3.4%
  • 2. I'm pretty darn unhappy

    Votes: 2 6.9%
  • 1. I'm very unhappy

    Votes: 1 3.4%

  • Total voters
    29

highlander

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I just saw this guy at church today. He talked about what causes us to be happy.

The key points are:

Happiness is a result or outcome of other things.

We get 10% from things external to ourselves. If we get a thing we want, we get a short-term bump. Examples are when we buy something or get that relationship we wanted. After that, we go back to a set point of who we are as a person.

The other 90% consists of two things:
1. your biological makeup
2. a set of life practices – the way we live leads to the end result

So, happiness to a significant degree is a result of the way you live. The life practices he mentions are:
1. Happy people are connectors vs. those who are detached. Love and connection creates “wiring” in your brain that makes you happier. It’s about sharing vulnerabilities and being there for others.
2. Happy people are givers. We share something that we have.
3. Happy people think differently than unhappy people. Unhappy thinkers explain outcomes based on something they lack in themselves (they personalize things). Then they extend this one event pervasively – that everything is bad. Then they feel like what just happened is permanent - that things will always be that way. 90% of our thinking patterns are the same from one day to the next. The way to break out of this is to observe and have focused attention on how we are thinking and follow that by action – to change those negative thought patterns.
4. Happy people have goals. We need to be pushing ourselves to the next thing that makes us uncomfortable. Fear is one of the most damaging thought patterns. He said that conquering our fears is very important.
5. Happy people have faith. People that have a strong spiritual orientation that give them meaning and purpose are happier. One study shows a 7-year difference in life span from this one thing.


Thoughts on this? On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you?
 

Lark

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Its very similar to the guy Angelo Belliotti who wrote Happiness is Overrated, he's a philosopher who also incidentially wrote one of the greatest books about sex I've read called Good Sex, it was philosophy too.

I'm inclined to believe this perspective, its got correlates with other perspectives I've read, Erich Fromm's idea of love and relating to others as the answer to existential angst, his idea of sanity. Thanks for this Highlander because I'll add it to my own reportraire of thinkers and ideas which interest me.

A personal observation I'd make is that I believe a lot of the happiness I experience lately is a memory its something I recall rather than experience in the moment. I dont know if thats my circumstances or something else.

I do believe the idea too about happiness which had a line in House MD that its biologically set and people return to their set level of happiness or unhappiness even when big events such as windfalls or bereavements alter it for a time.
 

KDude

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What's with the threads today? "What causes happiness?" "The truth about love"..
 

highlander

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What's with the threads today? "What causes happiness?" "The truth about love"..

I thought it was a really good talk and worth sharing the gist of it here. Don't you think this is important?
 

Haight

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Don't talk to him. He's an unhappy person.

My happiness is directly correlated with the people around me. If they're happy, I'm happy. If not, then not. When people are not around, happiness is determined by my gratitude toward things and events surrounding me.
 

KDude

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I thought it was a really good talk and worth sharing the gist of it here. Don't you think this is important?

It's important.. just extremely difficult to answer.

If I could point out one thing that invokes happiness for me, it's a sense of gratitude. When I forget and get in a state of want, it's for the worse.
 

KDude

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Don't talk to him. He's an unhappy person.

My happiness is directly correlated with the people around me. If they're happy, I'm happy. If not, then not. When people are not around, happiness is determined by my gratitude toward things and events surrounding me.

lol.. well, we agree on one thing.
 

highlander

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It's important.. just extremely difficult to answer.

If I could point out one thing that invokes happiness for me, it's a sense of gratitude. When I forget and get in a state of want, it's for the worse.

The information presented is the result of scientific studies so maybe it is not so difficult.
 

Lady_X

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i agree with it being about gratitude. i'm very much in awe of life and all the beautiful intricacies of the human condition...truly i am. at the core... so this mind set leads me to be happy most of my days...but things unexpected happen...things that shift my perception away from gratitude and thus happiness.
 

Haight

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Right. You should pick up a book on Hinduism.
 

Cellmold

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Often ive found happiness comes from perspective. Once I change the perspective it often helps to change the problem. And once ive changed the problem ive changed the perspective and I revel in the new angle of happiness I have found.....at least for a brief time.

So I suppose this goes along with the idea of needing some kind of constant progress, (regardless of how large or small it is), because to me life is a constant stream of changing perceptions.

When im unhappy it is often because ive forgotten or missed an angle that I should have considered. Of course once found it is like an old friend you didn't know you had. :D
 

gromit

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I have been feeling quite content lately. I am moving in a direction I would like to be moving in. That was the thing that was causing me the most bummed-out feelings. Now I don't feel so bummed out, so default I guess is content. I have enough food, a nice bed, kind family, thoughtful people in my life. So what causes it? I guess a bunch of factors.

But yeah, maybe it does boil down to gratitude and sense of autonomy.
 

highlander

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One thing that occurred to me as I was listening to this guy is that he talked about habitual thought patterns and just having awareness of those patterns is very helpful. That's what Enneagram is about.
 
G

Ginkgo

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I agree with OP and what I'm hearing in the video. The pursuit of happiness frequently compensates for dissatisfaction, bumping us up to stability. When I'm drained in giving my happiness, I'm not actually giving anything. Sharing true happiness is also the production and maintenance of happiness.

On a scale of 1 to 10? I'm about a 6. I've been a cynic but I'm making a conscious effort to think in terms of what is affirmative. Being an assertive voice and being a voice of dissent are two sides of the same coin.

One thing that occurred to me as I was listening to this guy is that he talked about habitual thought patterns and just having awareness of those patterns is very helpful. That's what Enneagram is about.


Yes. I'm curious. If you've made an effort to be aware of the thought patterns, what results do you have?
 

sprinkles

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I'd say I'm a 9

Not that I never get unhappy, but I gravitate towards positive energy and am repelled by negative energy. So even if a situation makes me very sad or depressed, the status quo leans back to happy.

It's kind of like a spring for me, really. You can compress it but it isn't going to stay there if you let it go.
 

Mole

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My unhappiness drives me towards happiness.

If I was happy clappy all the time, I'd loose my edge, I'd stop looking, I'd stop feeling, I would find nothing new. My unhappiness is my greatest gift.
 

highlander

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Yes. I'm curious. If you've made an effort to be aware of the thought patterns, what results do you have?

Less nerves in some situations. Less critical of myself in some situations. Realizing I prepare for the worst possible thing that can happen when it is extremely unlikely. Basically moderates some of those thought patterns. They are small incremental steps though.
 
G

Ginkgo

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Less nerves in some situations. Less critical of myself in some situations. Realizing I prepare for the worst possible thing that can happen when it is extremely unlikely. Basically moderates some of those thought patterns. They are small incremental steps though.

Do you wind up any happier?
 

Snoopy22

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8 - I would consider happiness as more situational and personality anchored.
Or
1- Could be the opposite for some people, or the difference between helping people one on one or in a group.
2- Could be a 50/50 split between giving and receiving.
3- Sounds good.
4- Unfortunately, the Richard Kuklinski thought process works poorly with most church people who tend to fall into the touchy feely grouping :).
5- Agree.
I can also be cynical, sarcastic, nit-picky, pessimistic and critical over situations while still being happy. I sometimes get the feeling that many preachers try to fit too large a group into a small box while attempting to lobotomize every one else (pity the wife having to drive home with me every Sunday after church).
 
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