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View Poll Results: How happy are you?

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33. You may not vote on this poll
  • 10 - About as happy as a person can be

    2 6.06%
  • 9 - I'm very happy

    1 3.03%
  • 8 - The significant majority of time, I'm very happy

    6 18.18%
  • 7 - I'm pretty happy but not always

    6 18.18%
  • 6 - I'm happy about some things in my life but there are things that I'm unhappy about

    7 21.21%
  • 5. I'm not happy or unhappy - just in the middle

    5 15.15%
  • 4. I'm more unhappy than happy

    2 6.06%
  • 3. I'm mostly unhappy

    1 3.03%
  • 2. I'm pretty darn unhappy

    2 6.06%
  • 1. I'm very unhappy

    1 3.03%
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Results 1 to 10 of 42

  1. #1
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Default What causes happiness?

    I just saw this guy at church today. He talked about what causes us to be happy.

    The key points are:

    Happiness is a result or outcome of other things.

    We get 10% from things external to ourselves. If we get a thing we want, we get a short-term bump. Examples are when we buy something or get that relationship we wanted. After that, we go back to a set point of who we are as a person.

    The other 90% consists of two things:
    1. your biological makeup
    2. a set of life practices – the way we live leads to the end result

    So, happiness to a significant degree is a result of the way you live. The life practices he mentions are:
    1. Happy people are connectors vs. those who are detached. Love and connection creates “wiring” in your brain that makes you happier. It’s about sharing vulnerabilities and being there for others.
    2. Happy people are givers. We share something that we have.
    3. Happy people think differently than unhappy people. Unhappy thinkers explain outcomes based on something they lack in themselves (they personalize things). Then they extend this one event pervasively – that everything is bad. Then they feel like what just happened is permanent - that things will always be that way. 90% of our thinking patterns are the same from one day to the next. The way to break out of this is to observe and have focused attention on how we are thinking and follow that by action – to change those negative thought patterns.
    4. Happy people have goals. We need to be pushing ourselves to the next thing that makes us uncomfortable. Fear is one of the most damaging thought patterns. He said that conquering our fears is very important.
    5. Happy people have faith. People that have a strong spiritual orientation that give them meaning and purpose are happier. One study shows a 7-year difference in life span from this one thing.


    Thoughts on this? On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you?

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  2. #2
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Default

    Its very similar to the guy Angelo Belliotti who wrote Happiness is Overrated, he's a philosopher who also incidentially wrote one of the greatest books about sex I've read called Good Sex, it was philosophy too.

    I'm inclined to believe this perspective, its got correlates with other perspectives I've read, Erich Fromm's idea of love and relating to others as the answer to existential angst, his idea of sanity. Thanks for this Highlander because I'll add it to my own reportraire of thinkers and ideas which interest me.

    A personal observation I'd make is that I believe a lot of the happiness I experience lately is a memory its something I recall rather than experience in the moment. I dont know if thats my circumstances or something else.

    I do believe the idea too about happiness which had a line in House MD that its biologically set and people return to their set level of happiness or unhappiness even when big events such as windfalls or bereavements alter it for a time.

  3. #3
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Default

    What's with the threads today? "What causes happiness?" "The truth about love"..

  4. #4
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    What's with the threads today? "What causes happiness?" "The truth about love"..
    I thought it was a really good talk and worth sharing the gist of it here. Don't you think this is important?

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  5. #5
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Don't talk to him. He's an unhappy person.

    My happiness is directly correlated with the people around me. If they're happy, I'm happy. If not, then not. When people are not around, happiness is determined by my gratitude toward things and events surrounding me.
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  6. #6
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I thought it was a really good talk and worth sharing the gist of it here. Don't you think this is important?
    It's important.. just extremely difficult to answer.

    If I could point out one thing that invokes happiness for me, it's a sense of gratitude. When I forget and get in a state of want, it's for the worse.

  7. #7
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haight View Post
    Don't talk to him. He's an unhappy person.

    My happiness is directly correlated with the people around me. If they're happy, I'm happy. If not, then not. When people are not around, happiness is determined by my gratitude toward things and events surrounding me.
    lol.. well, we agree on one thing.

  8. #8
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    It's important.. just extremely difficult to answer.

    If I could point out one thing that invokes happiness for me, it's a sense of gratitude. When I forget and get in a state of want, it's for the worse.
    The information presented is the result of scientific studies so maybe it is not so difficult.

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  9. #9
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i agree with it being about gratitude. i'm very much in awe of life and all the beautiful intricacies of the human condition...truly i am. at the core... so this mind set leads me to be happy most of my days...but things unexpected happen...things that shift my perception away from gratitude and thus happiness.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #10
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Right. You should pick up a book on Hinduism.
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

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