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View Poll Results: How happy are you?

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  • 10 - About as happy as a person can be

    2 6.06%
  • 9 - I'm very happy

    1 3.03%
  • 8 - The significant majority of time, I'm very happy

    6 18.18%
  • 7 - I'm pretty happy but not always

    6 18.18%
  • 6 - I'm happy about some things in my life but there are things that I'm unhappy about

    7 21.21%
  • 5. I'm not happy or unhappy - just in the middle

    5 15.15%
  • 4. I'm more unhappy than happy

    2 6.06%
  • 3. I'm mostly unhappy

    1 3.03%
  • 2. I'm pretty darn unhappy

    2 6.06%
  • 1. I'm very unhappy

    1 3.03%
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Results 21 to 30 of 42

  1. #21
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Happiness is interesting... I find that more than anything, it's a mindset, a choice. One can choose to be happy through some pretty dire situations, or one can choose to be unhappy through things that aren't really a big deal at all. And of course, I mean "happiness" in a broad sense-- overall satisfaction with one's life-- rather than the situational, day-to-day mood. I chose 8-- I'm overall very happy, but that doesn't mean I don't have days when I'm just down, or that I get sad when sad things happen. But even during those times, I would still say that though I may be sad at the moment, overall, I am happy.

    At the moment I have a pretty significant source of stress and sadness, but I don't let it take over my life. I've had a few days lately that weren't very happy, but all in all, I've got it pretty good, so I'm not going to let one aspect of my life (even though it's a huge one) negate everything that is good in my life.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

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  2. #22
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Huh, I just posted in another thread claiming that I have no problem telling people that I'm happy. But, now that I think about it, I'm never happy. I just don't have a state that I associate as being happy. I think happy is what other people call me when I'm feeling any number of other seemingly positive feelings. I wonder if that makes sense to anybody else.

    I picked ' I'm happy about some things in my life but there are things that I'm unhappy about', because it seemed most germaine to what the OP was asking than my application of the word happy.

  3. #23
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    I agree with the glance I had of the original post, BUT I think happiness comes from perspective largely. Perspective alone is not enough, but I think it is indispensable. How you interpret a situation is based on how you FEEL about the situation. So, if you have a "negative" experience it is usually interpreted that way because you view it as emblematic of something larger. It has INHERENT meaning. For example, people react very differently when they receive the same insult even if it is accurate for both people. The reason is that the person who gets annoyed views it as something that is UNCHANGEABLE about THEMSELVES. If instead you have the perspective that this is just a situation or experience and is not inherently negative and that you have the power to change it then you will not react in the same manner.

    edit:

    just read the full OP lol. I'd rate myself an 8 maybe a 9. I try to avoid perfectionism by egotistically rating myself 10s though lol
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I just saw this guy at church today. He talked about what causes us to be happy.

    The key points are:

    Happiness is a result or outcome of other things.

    We get 10% from things external to ourselves. If we get a thing we want, we get a short-term bump. Examples are when we buy something or get that relationship we wanted. After that, we go back to a set point of who we are as a person.

    The other 90% consists of two things:
    1. your biological makeup
    2. a set of life practices – the way we live leads to the end result

    So, happiness to a significant degree is a result of the way you live. The life practices he mentions are:
    1. Happy people are connectors vs. those who are detached. Love and connection creates “wiring” in your brain that makes you happier. It’s about sharing vulnerabilities and being there for others.
    2. Happy people are givers. We share something that we have.
    3. Happy people think differently than unhappy people. Unhappy thinkers explain outcomes based on something they lack in themselves (they personalize things). Then they extend this one event pervasively – that everything is bad. Then they feel like what just happened is permanent - that things will always be that way. 90% of our thinking patterns are the same from one day to the next. The way to break out of this is to observe and have focused attention on how we are thinking and follow that by action – to change those negative thought patterns.
    4. Happy people have goals. We need to be pushing ourselves to the next thing that makes us uncomfortable. Fear is one of the most damaging thought patterns. He said that conquering our fears is very important.
    5. Happy people have faith. People that have a strong spiritual orientation that give them meaning and purpose are happier. One study shows a 7-year difference in life span from this one thing.


    Thoughts on this? On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you?
    Almost all of this was covered in Seligman's book that came out 7 years ago (and has discussed on this forum a few times).

    The result that fear is damaging is not consistent with the research I've read. Fear can be good or bad depending on how based in reality those fears are.

    There is this notion of prevention vs. promotion as a means of achievement. Prevention tends to be more of a motivator as we are further away from our goal, or in most danger of reaching it (It is a Fear vs. Calm emotional dynamic). Promotion tends to be more of a motivator as we get closer to out goal (It is a disillusion vs. excitement emotional dynamic)

    Other things to mention are that there are different types of happiness.
    1) Believing you have a pleasant life (this leads to good moods, etc)
    2) Being engaged in life. (this leads to things like flow)
    3) Finding meaning in your activities. (this is knowing how your strengths and how they lead you to good purposes in your life)

    Other things to take note of:
    1) Happiness can lead to complacency (especially that of type 1)
    2) Happy people have trouble empathizing with the less happy (again, especially those happy the first way)
    3) Unhappy people can be more objective than those who are happy (specifically because of the detachment)
    4) Fear of loss is a valid motivator when based in reality (eg. wanting to keep your children safe from legitimate dangers. Not hurting yourself while working with chemicals, etc.)

    My own observations:
    1) Happiness is often used as a means of dismissing change for the better.
    2) Happiness is used as an excuse to maintain cliques and outcast those who make us uncomfortable.
    3) People will ignore reality if the reality upsets them.

    EDIT: I am not sure how many of these questionnaires have been posted in the online tests section, but I think early versions of many of these have:
    http://www.authentichappiness.sas.up...ionnaires.aspx

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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  5. #25

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    I'm going to buy this guys book next payday.

  6. #26
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    My own observations:
    1) Happiness is often used as a means of dismissing change for the better.
    2) Happiness is used as an excuse to maintain cliques and outcast those who make us uncomfortable.
    3) People will ignore reality if the reality upsets them.

    EDIT: I am not sure how many of these questionnaires have been posted in the online tests section, but I think early versions of many of these have:
    http://www.authentichappiness.sas.up...ionnaires.aspx
    Interesting post and quizzes there.

    So, are you personally happy or do you think it is unimportant to be happy?

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  7. #27
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Mindfulness, which is learning to let go of what is unimportant and to get in touch with what is.

  8. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Interesting post and quizzes there.

    So, are you personally happy or do you think it is unimportant to be happy?
    It depends on what you mean by happiness. If you mean a hedonistic sort of happiness (IOW, being in a good mood most of the time), I am neither terribly unhappy nor happy right now. I only care about my mood in so far as that it is not a hindrance.

    If you mean engaged in life. I am much more so now that I was even when I joined this forum. I anticipate that things will improve here, and I have a pretty good idea how to do this.

    If you mean finding meaning and purpose in what I do, I am working this, and I have some ideas I am trying out. In the meantime, I find the search for meaning, meaningful in itself.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  9. #29
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    Well, others mentioned perspective and gratitude. I'd like to throw in "wisdom," which might be synonymous with the former and probably leads to the latter. Realism and balance come to mind, too.

    Truly internalizing notions such as
    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    We get 10% from things external to ourselves. If we get a thing we want, we get a short-term bump. Examples are when we buy something or get that relationship we wanted. After that, we go back to a set point of who we are as a person.
    and
    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    he talked about habitual thought patterns and just having awareness of those patterns is very helpful.
    helps us remind ourselves that true contentedness is internal.

    Worrying about stuff that's outside of our control, especially the external stuff, doesn't help, either.


  10. #30
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    What causes happiness?

    Embracing every moment of the life you have been given, making the most of all you can, doing no harm, and pulling others up with you as you aspire to reach the summit of self actualization.

    Sounds like a happy day to me!



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