So, in my studies of psychology I've been reading about attachment theory and styles and this one most accurately describes me.
Which of course, bothers me, because I want to be securely attached. However; on further consideration I have no idea, no clue whatsoever, as to how to go about becoming securely attached. My classed so far have only covered the problems, not how to fix them.
I do kind of trust the intentions of my partners. That is, I'm not always wondering if they're going to betray me or leave me, and I understand that there's a fair chance they won't, or if they do that it's just the natural course of things, but I try really hard to hold the relationships with a very open hand and not be too much trouble and resist attaching and actually become distressed if I realize that I have attached because the feelings are unfounded. You can't hold someone at arms length and then think they're important to you and hope that you'd be important to them, it's just not going to happen.
Also, I do not get angry or clingy at perceived rejection. Instead, I am internally hurt and walk away without a fight and become less likely to engage in a relationship the next time. I will not fight for something I am not sure I deserve, and am not sure I want. So, if they don't want it, why should I want it? Best to let it go.
However; this has resulted in only one relationship of any length and only a couple to speak of and maybe only a couple dozen or so dates in the last decade. Maybe two a year.
And, not that I'm really distressed by this as I am by what it indicates about my overall psychological health. Can anyone relate? More importantly; Does anyone have any ideas how I can go about fixing whatever disordered thought processes or perceptions are related to this style?