User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 15 of 15

  1. #11
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    eNFP
    Enneagram
    ;) sx
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    637

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Well, perhaps you are avoiding intimacy with me. Perhaps we can explore that.

    And I don't think you are wasting my time - I understood you thought you were wasting my time. So rather than accusing you of wasting time, I am trying to understand you and help you understand yourself.

    And you say your problem is with intimacy - and I would guess you mean emotional intimacy.

    And just look - you are feeling emotions as you read this. So you might ask yourself how are you avoiding intimacy with me and indeed with us on Central.

    And I emphasise - this is not an accusation - this is an attempt to understand how you avoid intimacy, and even why you avoid intimacy.

    And of course in exploring this, you will be becoming more intimate.
    Perhaps I am avoiding intimacy with you and perhaps I'm hypersensitive to rejection. I accept both of those as possibilities.

    And, in lieu of my misreading of your previous post, even the likelihood of such. Indeed, I don't feel I'm wasting your time as I am not attempting to engage your affections for me in any way. This would change drastically if I actually wanted you to like me.

    When I say intimacy, I mean, of course, all intimacy. It's all the same to me.

    I would say I avoid intimacy because primarily I never quite learned how to be intimate. I know that's one of the basic premises of life but I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional home and we moved often until I was a teenager. Looking to my parents and relatives I certainly had no intimacy of any kind to base myself off of and I wasn't dumb enough to think television was an accurate portrayal. I was also consumed with keeping my family's secrets, which kept me pretty isolated for all of my teens. Now, as an adult, I'm kind of at square one and very determined not to make my parent's mistake, and I do try to treat everyone kindly and be open, but am still fairly unsure which people are genuinely kind and which are traitorous manipulative b*****ds just waiting for me to show weakness.

    It's a nice thought but I doubt we will become more intimate, as the internet is more likely to develop false-intimacy, based on lots of information, rather than true intimacy, based on trust. It would also be unreasonable and, in fact, unwise of me to pursue intimacy of any kind with a stranger based on a few lines of text.
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt
    ___________________

  2. #12
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    18,529
    Quote Originally Posted by briochick View Post
    Perhaps I am avoiding intimacy with you and perhaps I'm hypersensitive to rejection. I accept both of those as possibilities.

    And, in lieu of my misreading of your previous post, even the likelihood of such. Indeed, I don't feel I'm wasting your time as I am not attempting to engage your affections for me in any way. This would change drastically if I actually wanted you to like me.

    When I say intimacy, I mean, of course, all intimacy. It's all the same to me.

    I would say I avoid intimacy because primarily I never quite learned how to be intimate. I know that's one of the basic premises of life but I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional home and we moved often until I was a teenager. Looking to my parents and relatives I certainly had no intimacy of any kind to base myself off of and I wasn't dumb enough to think television was an accurate portrayal. I was also consumed with keeping my family's secrets, which kept me pretty isolated for all of my teens. Now, as an adult, I'm kind of at square one and very determined not to make my parent's mistake, and I do try to treat everyone kindly and be open, but am still fairly unsure which people are genuinely kind and which are traitorous manipulative b*****ds just waiting for me to show weakness.

    It's a nice thought but I doubt we will become more intimate, as the internet is more likely to develop false-intimacy, based on lots of information, rather than true intimacy, based on trust. It would also be unreasonable and, in fact, unwise of me to pursue intimacy of any kind with a stranger based on a few lines of text.
    Well, we are being intimate in a particular way. We are being intimate in public and sharing our feelings and emotions with the members of Central.

    This has some advantages as it offers some protection from, "traitorous manipulative b*****ds just waiting for me to show weakness".

    Also it dilutes our own feelings and gives us time and space to feel them.

    Also other members can offer us support.

    And we can leave any time we like.

    And so it gives us the time and space to explore the contours of intimacy in a safe environment.

    And last but not least, we are modelling intimacy for others.

  3. #13
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    eNFP
    Enneagram
    ;) sx
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    637

    Default

    Okay!

    ... ...

    I really have no response to that...
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt
    ___________________

  4. #14
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    18,529
    Quote Originally Posted by briochick View Post
    Okay!

    ... ...

    I really have no response to that...
    And hey,

    ... ...

    I have no response either...


    - We have no response together.

  5. #15
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    eNFP
    Enneagram
    ;) sx
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    637

    Default

    Alright!
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt
    ___________________

Similar Threads

  1. Attachment Style Quiz
    By meme duchess in forum Online Personality Tests
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-23-2017, 01:35 AM
  2. Attachment Style Test
    By highlander in forum Online Personality Tests
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 09-08-2017, 06:10 PM
  3. Change in Attachment Style
    By ygolo in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 06-12-2014, 09:04 PM
  4. Debating styles
    By labyrinthine in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 08-11-2007, 08:10 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO