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  1. #1
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Default how do you react when someone yells at you

    do you freeze, do you yell back, what do you do?


    I freeze, unable to do anything, and than I cry- I wish i would stop this, but no matter how hard i try this is what happens.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so
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  2. #2
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    Depends on the yeller.
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  3. #3
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    People often don't have a lot of control over their default reactions in high stress. Don't kick yourself about it, it tends to make it worse.

    If I'm being yelled at, I'll either yell back or totally shrug it off just to annoy them. I think there's really no reason to yell at anybody, there are better and more effective ways of communicating. Unless of course, you're commnicating that you are about to hit somebody. In that case yelling is entirely apropriate.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    I honestly can't remember the last time someone has yelled at me. (mabye its a 9 Peacemaker thing)

    I would probably just close off and go into polite mode and try to defuse the situation, I don't think I would yell back.

  5. #5
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Depends on the reasoning/ person, but my body just generally goes into sympathetic mode and have all these crazy internal body changes and just freeze and stare at them wide eyed. And then my first reaction is usually "I totally understand" because it usually placates the yeller in two seconds and kind of makes them look a little dumb.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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  6. #6
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    I had a boss who was a bit of a bully. The only way to get him off your back was to yell at him back, then by some strange jungle ruleset, he'd respect you. If not, you were eternal prey. Unless you were a girl, then crying was effective. The world sucks.
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  7. #7
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    I tend to emotionally detach as a protective response, likely from my upbringing. I see someone losing control over their behavior due to their own emotional responses, and I know nothing will get solved if everyone's losing their shit. Or, depending on the situation, the person [this has only happened with unhealthy people, though] might be yelling in an attempt to draw out an emotional response from me, to feel a sense of control over the situation, because, as noted above- when someone's already yelling, they've lost control-- some people NEED you to react in a similar, volatile way in order to feel emotionally validated. That said, I can't allow myself to give them the satisfaction of upsetting me, nor can I in good conscience feed into an unhealthy dynamic like that. The behaviors people resort to, when expressing their anger, on some level, ARE a choice, and over the years I've made it my choice not to allow their problem to become mine on that basic level, and create needless stress.

    I mean, sure, if it's someone I'm close to, of course I am anxious and stressed because they're angry with me-- I can't stand that--- but I still tend to shut off emotionally until things are calm. Kind of figure if they've gotten that upset, communication has already broken down, or it's not possible to attempt to communicate when they're that revved up in the first place, though I may stand there and ''actively'' listen, til they get it out of their system-- depending on the situation. I'm more than happy to discuss & hopefully clear up whatever upset them when they can remain calm; I don't hold their initial reactions against them, per se- I just don't allow it to upset me in the moment. Some people may disagree with me on this, but in everyday situations, I seriously see no reason to YELL about anything. It's just an assault on everyone around you, and in of itself resolves nothing.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.
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  8. #8
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I try to understand what caused this reaction, and what other factors are at play. Unless they manage to trigger my own stress response due to the sensitive nature of the topic they're yelling at me for...then I either yell back in defensive response if what they're yelling about is outrageous or if it really hit home, retreat in shame.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  9. #9
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I try to understand what caused this reaction, and what other factors are at play.
    That's what I do when I emotionally detach from the situation- evaluate factors, potential triggers for the intense response- [for me it's sort of how I use Ti in those scenarios]. Taking it apart alleviates the stress I would otherwise have, soaking in the anger/conflict, etc- seems to make the most sense, for me, in terms of solving the problem.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.
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  10. #10
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I had a boss who was a bit of a bully. The only way to get him off your back was to yell at him back, then by some strange jungle ruleset, he'd respect you. If not, you were eternal prey. Unless you were a girl, then crying was effective. The world sucks.
    This seems to be a default with Te/Fi users, as if you need to show some degree of emotion for them to take you seriously.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

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