User Tag List

First 678910 Last

Results 71 to 80 of 170

  1. #71
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    do you freeze, do you yell back, what do you do?


    I freeze, unable to do anything, and than I cry- I wish i would stop this, but no matter how hard i try this is what happens.
    It depends on who's yelling at me. If it's someone I really care about and respect I will freeze, go silent and more than likely end up crying (I try to wait until I'm alone though). If it's someone I don't care about or respect, I will do the same thing but without the crying and probably just avoid them after that.

  2. #72
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    1,859

    Default

    People have different life experiences. And those, unfortunately if bad and hurtful, tend to form us to some degree. The difference one can make is in choosing an attitude that allows them to live healthy. And that can make all the difference because we can't help how others treat us.

    When someone yells at me I realize that as some sort of problem the person yelling is having.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  3. #73
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ni
    Posts
    313

    Default

    I look at them like this:



    cuz I know there is no way this person could be talking to me with such elevated tones. I ignore yelling. Easiest way to get disregarded.

  4. #74
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    If it's someone close to me, I do met tolerate yelling. I will get stone-faced and remove myself from their vicinity. Yelling is rude.

  5. #75
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    738
    Socionics
    ILE None
    Posts
    7,265

    Default

    Depends on context.

    I usually get angry at underlying assumptions (like: if he says that then he must be assuming at some level that a and b and that pisses me off).
    So that tends to mean I have less capacity at getting angry at strangers (not knowing them as well) with which I'll be 'colder' in case of conflict.

    Some ppl are quite emotionally unrelatable to me and then it's just confusing. For example people with strong psychopathic traits.

    I get angry when people lack respect towards me/ don't respect my space, when people bullshit me, negative people as I feel it's infectious and I don't want that crap on me.

    about the respect thing It's quite hard to define in words for me (NT. ), I don't really care about most things.

    I guess it gravitates around competency (treat me as if i was incompetent without very solid justification and we're going to have a problem).
    For example, I won't get upset enough to 'yell' in most traditional conflict situations but I can tell someone to fuck off pretty loudly if they give forced/unwanted advice in an area where I am competent and they are not. The trigger is not the fact people want to 'discuss' the topic which I am more than fine with, it's related to disregarding my input (weak trigger) or Si-judging me to death, stating things as absolute without solid backing (strong trigger). It usually takes multiple instances of such situations to get me 'angry'. I have to reach a point where I don't see the conversation as fruitful and simply a waste of time in addition to being patronizing to me (ie: if u think ur right give me solid reasons, if u just judge me because of some external frame that has nothing to do with ur knowledge of my decision making which I have previously demonstrated to be coherent and explained then please go away - if reason and polite requests fail, i will yell)

    Example of a situation:
    I make it very clear I don't need input on the purchase of a new computer. The computer is already purchased and I'm easily in the top 10% of the population in computer-related-matters-fluency. I also had the best information on my factors in selecting said purchase, which I did not disclose with that individual.

    The person communicates in a way that implies doubting my decision (offering alternatives without having the technical know-how, and ignoring the fact that the purchase is already done, makes statements questioning the financial-sense of the purchase etc.) - such unwanted/baseless inputs have been provided many times before and my input doesn't seem to have 'convinced that person' that I can indeed make my own decisions without getting unwanted advice.

    After a first and second warning where I make it clear I do not wish to have this conversation I will start raising my voice
    Until, usually around the 3rd / 5th time I say 'no thx' I will start yelling loud enough for them to go away.

    I'm not very proud of it but I don't find other ways to help getting rid of this type of nuisance.

    I often get into conflict with my father (alpha male extj) who has alot of knowledge and is a very smart man, however the lack of flexibility and habit of passing judgment before hearing me out on any and all topics + repeated such interactions tend to drive me nuts. I however enjoy interacting with him in other instances (as stated previously, very knowledgable)

    Which makes me think - I think I 'm more likely to get angry at people whose competency I recognize in some field or another. I seem to be triggered by people's actions that seem to indicate that , whatever their reason is, they question my own 'competency'. For example if someone tells me I'm good at something yet keep trying to micro manage me. To me the action of trying to micro manage me and ignoring my input makes the first statement hypocritical/insulting/condescending (all strong 'yelling' triggers)

    My main drive in 'cold' anger (staring at you like I'm going to slap you and explaining politely how and why you should learn some manners) is to correct disrespectful behavior towards me, my main drive behind 'snapping at people' (hot anger) seems to be me wanting to 'get them off my back' at which point I am usually fed up enough not to care if it doesn't really solve the issue as I'm just trying to dissuade them from interacting with me in the same fashion again)

    I'm a 7w8 so I guess it makes sense (yelling/most upset at attacks on my core values - my ability to think logically/my ability to remain positive minded. and secondary drive for status / respect - for example I have a history of putting rude waiters 'in their place' (just an idiomatic expression, i don't mean anything superiorish by that) and have them eat out of my hand the next time i go to that cafe/restaurant )
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  6. #76
    A wannabe dog
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    466

    Default

    Depends on who is yelling at me.

    If it's someone I like and respect and care about, I will freeze for a minute and then after that I will start defending myself (I won't yell back at them but I will speak up for myself and try to explain myself).

    If it's someone whom I don't respect and don't like, I will freeze, and then I started getting angry at myself for not yelling back at that person, then I started mentally putting that person into my 'shit list' and remind myself to avoid that person in future.

  7. #77
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,365

    Default

    I hate it. It's the worst feeling ever when someone yells at me.

    I usually just shut down.

  8. #78
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    10,082

    Default

    I try to calmly talk them down to a less emotional state. If that doesn't work, I leave. If they follow me and continue yelling, I might explode.

    Ultimately my reaction will depend on why they are yelling/what they are yelling about. Usually the first thing I say is, "why are you yelling? I don't understand the need to yell to make whatever point you want to make. Can we talk about it like rational people?"

  9. #79
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    5,810

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Evee View Post
    I hate it. It's the worst feeling ever when someone yells at me.

    I usually just shut down.
    I'm sort of similar although sometimes I just get angry and bite back, which isn't the best reaction.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  10. #80
    Rainy Day Member Ingrid in grids's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    1,625

    Default

    A lot like this kid, or inert.


Similar Threads

  1. How do you react when meeting the same MBTI type as you ?
    By RedAmazoneFriendZone in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 06-18-2016, 11:47 AM
  2. Replies: 47
    Last Post: 06-15-2016, 04:55 AM
  3. [ENTJ] ENTJs: When you really like someone, how do you express it?
    By Quay in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 08-06-2012, 04:36 AM
  4. [SP] How do you react when someone pisses you off?
    By Dali in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 10-31-2008, 01:37 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO