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Why are we so attracted to misfortune?

Geoff

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Seems so odd, to me, that as a species we are so attracted to misfortune.

Think about it - stories that only have a happy sequence of events are "sickeningly nice". We laugh at the misfortunes of others - slapstick is probably one of the few elements of humour common to all studied societies.

Why on earth is it so appealing? Is it that we enjoy the misfortunes of others because by inference it is for our own personal advancement (we enjoy watching others eliminate themselves from competition?). Is it that we want to appreciate adversity/a challenge before something has worth?

Do you in fact disagree - it is unappealing, or that something else is the draw?

Here's a relevant quote, from the esteemed Mr Tolkien :

J R R Tolkien in "the Hobbit" said:
Now, it is a strange thing, but things that are good to have and days that are good to spend are soon told about, and not much to listen to; while things that are uncomfortable, palpitating and gruesome, may make a good tale, and take a deal of telling, anyway



Thoughts?
 

matmos

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I always like Dame Edna Everage's assertion that she was "born with the ability to laugh at others' misfortunes".

I think the English are some of the finest at satire, which is effectively a laugh at politicians, celebrity misfortune. The tabloids specialise in building them up to knock 'em down. It's ingrained in the culture.
 

Nadir

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Some different ideas...

1. Laughing at others misfortunes reminds us that we're not alone in being fallible, human, and a servant to luck, even at times when it feels like we're the only one. To laugh at misfortune is to appreciate misfortune as a yardstick with which man judges the events that have befallen him. The laugh elevates our ego to the level of our fellow man. We are reminded not that we aren't deficient -- but that others are, too. The feeling of "internal communion" with other humans, empathy, basking in the human abstract, w/e, compels us to laugh. Also see Schadenfreude.

2. A misfortune is as chaotic and off the wall as things get. No form of "order" integrates misfortune into its structure as something to be expected, you don't expect a car to hit you while you're crossing the street, but if you're paranoid you might entertain the thought and enjoy it throughly. It's always a surprise, always something different with each different case of misfortune that happens... you might as well ask why all kinds of sexual fetishes exist!

3. After a while we take happiness and contentment for granted but sorrow, disappointment definitely have their own taste and texture and we can't realy get used to it. An acquired taste, if you will, like mustard and misfortune provides them in the full. Surely contentment is a nice place to be but it's not the whole spectrum of human emotion, hardly! so it seems perfectly normal to help yourself to some bits of disappointment and misfortune too, and want them as you a child would like a small slab of milk chocolate as dessert. My own acquired taste? It's disgust. I love macabre art/photography, with blood and violence -- and I absolutely can not stare at some works for extended periods of time, as I'm disgusted (in an incredulous way, not negative). It is almost contradictory -- but it is great. So it might be with misfortune.
 

WobblyStilettos

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Interesting question... I really don't like seeing people's misfortune, especially if I know them or can see the effects on them, but on TV and in books I think it makes the stories seem more real and believable (unless it's Home and Away). I also think it's helps people to connect with eachother, like uniting against a common enemy :D
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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Good ideas already proposed.

I think misfortune serves as a distraction from our own anxiety. We identify with the person suffering and feel whatever depression and sadness there is to feel, which means there's nothing to worry about, because it (the sadness that we're constantly trying to escape) is already here. Confronting depression relieves anxiety and makes us feel good inside. At the same time, we know it's kind of a game, because it's not really our sadness that we're feeling, so we can control it and leave it when we want, and don't have to carry it around like a burden.

My mom was telling me about Eckhart Tolle's idea of the pain-body which I think is very apropos. He says, from what I understand, that pain and conflict feed this pain-body that we carry around and identify with, and that feel pleasurable. I don't know enough to go into depth at all, but I think he's right that drama feels pleasurable (for whatever reason).
 

sriv

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Society as a whole has a constant drive to improve itself. What improves if there is no misfortune to motivate the masses?
 

Haphazard

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In the context of a story, straight, unadulterated happiness and order is boring. We need some misery and chaos to make it interesting. It's even become a requirement that a story has 'conflict,' some adversity. If there's no adversity, there's no later success.
 

sriv

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In the context of a story, straight, unadulterated happiness and order is boring. We need some misery and chaos to make it interesting. It's even become a requirement that a story has 'conflict,' some adversity. If there's no adversity, there's no later success.

Good point, success is only relative.
 

disregard

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Because it's something everyone can relate to. Sharing anecdotes of misfortune with your brother is a centripetal force. Also, it brings one back down to ground in that you are given an opportunity to laugh at the ways of life instead of fear them.
 

Geoff

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Great comments above, to try and hone down why and how this stuff is "needed" by us, and it sounds like there are a whole plethora of reasons.

One message that keeps coming through is that we need mistery to make it interesting. But.. why? Why is it dull to hear about happy successes. Weird, isn't it.
 

Mort Belfry

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Which one of the following stories is more interesting:

John was born to a loving family, he grew up into a healthy gentleman and after a life well spent he died happily.

John was born to a family of tigers who mercilessly beat him with broken bottles and ironing cords every second of every day until he twelve, then he was castrated in a humiltating experience with a french door. He had soon grew to loathe himself and cut himself at every available oppurtunity and became a prostitute just to support his abusive husband's heroin addiction. One day it was all too much for and he jumped off a bridge onto an open sandwich maker. At his funeral everybody talked about how much they hated him.

Pain and suffering also lends longevity to a narrative.
 

sriv

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Great comments above, to try and hone down why and how this stuff is "needed" by us, and it sounds like there are a whole plethora of reasons.

One message that keeps coming through is that we need mistery to make it interesting. But.. why? Why is it dull to hear about happy successes. Weird, isn't it.

Because then people start feeling jealous and competitive instead of sympathy. Too much competition is not healthy and sympathy is a much more connective force. Would you want to live in a perfect, happy utopia?
If perfect then ~emotion.
Humans cannot be healthy without variety. Suffering is another form of learning. Shows different perspectives that people are not used to seeing. A miserable person would WANT to see happiness. There is always that quest for balance.
 

Geoff

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Also, it brings one back down to ground in that you are given an opportunity to laugh at the ways of life instead of fear them.

Oh yes, safe danger. We aren't homo sapiens, we are pans narrans - the story telling ape. We learn by experiencing things in a narrative form (nursery rhymes, fables etc). So, they must contain misfortune to educate us, and we allow ourselves to experience difficult times in a safe "mind space" - we rehearse without experiencing.... so that's step one to my follow up point.

Step two, if we need safe danger, we use humour to protect ourselves from the fear factor of the necessary misery. So, we make it funny to learn by watching and hearing how others hurt themselves or suffer.
 

Mort Belfry

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Conflict is needed in any story so that it actually is a story. In classical comedy and tragedy it seems that it must go:

Comedy: Introduction. Conflict. Happy Ending.
Tragedy: Intorduction. Conflict. Unhappy Ending.

To go from introduction to ending would mean there isn't a story and nothing has changed or happened which is uninteresting. There is only one time when confict isn't needed in stories and that's called pornography.
 

elfinchilde

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Possibly, because reading about happy people creates envy. While reading about unfortunate people creates sympathy/empathy.

From a self-centric point of view, which makes a person feel better?

There's also the dual issues of catharsis and voyeurism. What's inarticulate in oneself may be articulated by another--thereby resonance, which is where art finds its meaning---and voyeurism, which is the life one may secretly wish to have. A life against all odds, doesn't everyone who identifies with the underdog, wish to see that beaten person win?

because then, it creates the most important thing for oneself: hope.

It is on this that the American Dream is founded upon.
 

substitute

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Being alive means experiencing misfortune and tragedy. We also experience joy and fortune. But whilst we seldom need support for the good stuff, and tend to just enjoy it, we all need help getting through the bad stuff.

When people encounter stories that involve tragedy and misfortune, it helps them feel less alone, and can also help them figure out how to handle it in their own lives, going by the experiences of the characters. The most successful stories are those that most closely mirror real human experience, otherwise people just don't relate to it. I believe in LOTR Tolkien says something similar - stories about super heroes who are larger than life and deal with things effortlessly are never as inspiring as those about ordinary people, placed by the ruthless caprices of chance in extraordinary and challenging circumstances, who rise to the challenges and become more by doing so than they were before.

Stories are a part of coping with the human condition. Without tragedy in them, they just divert us momentarily but leave little to think about or dwell on afterwards. All the greatest and most eduring myths, legends and story traditions and cycles bear this out: they have to contain all elements of human experience in order to be enduring, to continue to appeal and to continue to be relevant.

That's why people can read the Arthurian legends today and feel just as close to the characters as though they weren't living in a society over a thousand years gone and alien to us. Whilst we might not understand perfectly the characters' motivations or the society in which they live, when they experience tragedy and joy, love and anger, and that stuff, we relate to it, we understand that, and so 'bond' with the characters.

"Sickeningly nice" stories about perfect people with perfect lives don't appeal because there's nothing real about them. They don't inspire people to cope with the real challenges in their real lives, they just leave one feeling inadequate and depressed that one's life doesn't mirror the idyll they portray.

edit - the most successful stories are the ones where people experience lots of difficulty, but survive. Because that's something universal to most people: from time to time we ask ourselves if we can really carry on; we feel tired of it all and like giving up, and we wonder if we can really survive. Stories like that can give us hope and keep us going.
 

nightning

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Great thoughts...

My two cents:

Much like what elfie said... people are inherently egotistic. We live to compare ourselves to others... a little misfortune to others does wonders to affirm our superiority. Helping behavior in essence puts us above the individual...
 

substitute

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I don't see it that way nightning. If I help someone I don't see myself as being 'above' them, or them needing me but not the other way around.

Medieval society in Europe valued lepers and paupers as virtually sacred as it was only by their existence that people were enabled to perform acts of charity and empathy, through which alone one could become self-actualized. The rich man needed the leper just as much, if not more than the leper needed the rich man.

Accepting help from someone implies a certain level of trust. Many people don't like asking for or accepting help, whilst most people feel gratification from giving it.

If somebody allows me to help them I don't see my role as a condescending, superior-to-them one. We're every inch equals. Without people allowing themselves to be helped and helping others, we all live self-absorbed lives of little self-awareness, and don't reach actualization as the best we can be. It's a great honour to be given the trust that's implied in a person showing their vulnerability to me. There's just as much humility involved, ideally, in both giving and receiving help, and just as much dignity. Being the giver does not make one superior - in fact it's the easiest part to play, for a lot of people who would happily give someone a dollar, but would rather die than ask for a dollar in charity.

Whilst it's possible to take the cynical position of saying people like to 'get off' on others' misfortunes to make themlseves feel superior, I think underneath the process that's going on - or that the 'voyeur' is hoping or trying to cause to go on - is more like what I said above.
 

phoenix13

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One word: catharsis.

Edit: Ha, like I could just leave it at that...

I really agree and relate to Substitute's post (two posts back). Particularly: "When people encounter stories that involve tragedy and misfortune, it helps them feel less alone, and can also help them figure out how to handle it in their own lives, going by the experiences of the characters."

Hearing of other people's misfortunes is therapeutic for that reason, along with the catharsis. and yes, some people cling to others' misfortunes to pull themselves up, but that's not the whole picture, of course.

One last thought: Compassion is one of the highest modes of human existence. It makes you feel like a good person, and benefits the other person (if they know of it) at the same time. Hearing others' misfortune arouses compassion in many people. Note: Compassion does NOT equal pity.
 
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SolitaryPenguin

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I can't remember the last time someone phoned me or emailed me to tell me some genuinely good news. I think people focus on the negative so much that it dilutes the positive to the point of barely being recognizable. I'm a damn hippie though so I am biased.
 
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