The two dumbest dreams I've ever had:
1. I went shopping at Wal-Mart on Thanksgiving and I was in the check-out line with my stuffz. A female employee pushed me out of the way and let a bunch of people go in line ahead of me, so I got really pissed off and kneed her in the crotch.
2. My dog had been elected leader of some evil organization. She had absolutely no grasp of what was going on, of course: the "leader" might as well have been a doornail. She was being sent a lot of hate mail and death threats, and I read something in a news magazine about her "moral depravity". My protective instincts flared up, and I picked her up and started cuddling her while saying "Leave her alone. She doesn't understand."