and when you find that you can play with both with some facility, you are liberated from traditional expectations (limitations) and begin to explore your true nature.
that may be right and it isn't a conscious process, my mind simply goes through various quick scenarios like a disk scan and i choose the most plausible one. and if i care, it always gets an Fi tire-kicking before i stick it out there.From an outside perspective, it seems more like a cost-benefit analysis done subconsciously, which was heavily influenced by emotion, followed by a more conscious analytical process that brought some order and reason to the chaos. So...the emotion and logic work hand in hand to decide the desired end state and weigh the options, all without really breaking it down mentally, and then the logical thought process is used to explain the decision that you had already reached, in a simpler way.
the cost-benefit analysis part is definitely true.
there are many theories on the stages of love/intimacy, and infatuation is probably the most tricky when it comes to maintaining some sense of self-mastery, as it seems our neurochemistry conspires against rational thought in that stage.It's really difficult to draw the line between infatuation and actual love so that's the only real criteria that I have come up with, although it doesn't only apply to romantic love.
and yes: self-mastery is deeply rational in my view. and:
part of my views on this stem from my views on rational objectivism, and the thorn that this particular philosophy left in left in my side. and, i suppose, elements of Darwinism.I think that this is a -very- important point. In my opinion, without it, your actions will always be trying to compensate for something that you feel that you lack, even if you don't realize it. That skews your self-mastery towards certain goals that wouldn't necessarily be that important to you if you had it.
it simply is the rational choice.
i can also identify their self-limiting behaviors more easily, and offer others the benefit of my detachment plus insight. free of judgment, which makes it easier for them to come forward. that is one of the ways i know how to love, and an understanding of self-mastery makes this possible.
i have also observed that my capacity to love increases as i acquire more self-mastery.
it is somewhat awkward for me to articulate these things, as they occur on a very deep, very private level in my case. but i enjoy exploring the topic and seeing how the rest of you approach these things.