Savior complex

[swordpath]

Who is prone to these feelings and duties towards certain other individuals? Someone who isn't well grounded or tends to get themselves into hurtful situations and you feel a duty to stick by them even if it gets yourself hurt time and time again. Is this typical of STJs or do most people experience this type of mentality?

 

[nozflubber]

I experience something like this towards humans in general. I sometimes feel like if I was King of the world and surrounded myself with enough scientists economists and trustworthy Generals, I could greatly improve the world (Utilitarianism basically). I acknowledge it as nonsense, but it's fun to play inside the mind sometimes!

(I know you are probably talking about an ex but you asked!)

 

[SillySapienne]

I used to suffer from it, like, really, really *suffer* from it.

Saving and defending people from what I perceived to be as any kind of felt or imposed "hurt", used to be the driving force behind all of my actions.

I think it has to do with unchecked empathy. I used to *literally* feel the pain of others, and by alleviating their discomfort, in effect, I would simultaneously alleviate mine.

Now I am at the opposite extreme where I have to isolate myself from others in order to not feel compelled/affected by their sadness or suffering. Hopefully, one day I'll find a way to appropriately extend and withhold myself, until then, however...

 

[Valiant]

I wouldn't call it a complex. Just imagine yourself being picked upon by bullies, then you see someone that gets bullied... Natural reaction if you can do something about it is to do so. I've beaten up, ridiculed and/or threatened bullies with immense pain during most of my time in school, and it worked quite well. Had a couple of classmates a couple of scrawny guys, then there were some jocks that liked picking on them, had to do something about it or I wouldn't have been able to sleep at night knowing I could have done something. Really, after making a couple of examples (read bloody noses, hurting ribs and maybe a small concussion) people WILL listen, and after that all it took was some maintenance (threatening, some hurting ribs and maybe one bloody nose). And it kept them safe from the worst of it during five or six years until school was finished. I was picked on when I was little, and nothing will get me to hate somebody more than if they start doing bad stuff to the ones not bestowed with strength or agility.

 

[nightning]

Who is prone to these feelings and duties towards certain other individuals? Someone who isn't well grounded or tends to get themselves into hurtful situations and you feel a duty to stick by them even if it gets yourself hurt time and time again. Is this typical of STJs or do most people experience this type of mentality?

Looking at types wise... I would say SJs and NFs are the most likely to engage in such behaviour. The Guardians likes to maintain social order and traditions. Help keeping these off-balanced individuals afloat is what you're suppose to do and they can take duty rather seriously. The Idealist on the other hand... ha! I believe they have been identified as having martyr (savior complex). In fact the INFJ is described as the martyr by a few people. I suppose the NFs love saving the underdogs. :rolli:

Not that the SP Artistians and us Rationalist wouldn't also do the same from time to time... As Jesus said... if the situation fits the bill.

 

[Councilor]

A lot of MBTI descriptions list ISFJ as the selfless martyr to duty.

 

[Domino]

My ISTP best friend had it BAD. He still does it.

I think any type can be roped in, according to their ideas of right and wrong. Possibly Judgers may feel the distinction more acutely as we think in automatic shades of "on/off", "good/bad", "The Fonz/Chachi". It can range from well-intentioned naivety to masochistic self-flagellating tendencies.

NFs may, in particular, be unable to disengage when it's clear their object won't be salvaged from the Styx.

Do you have an experience to share on this tac, Beat? Are you seeing this trait in yourself?

 

[redacted]

my friends call it the hero complex but whatever. it's one of my biggest downfalls.

unhealthy Fe...

 

[swordpath]

I wouldn't call it a complex.

I call it a complex because of the getting yourself hurt aspect, despite the fact that it'd probably be in one's best interest to get out, yet they don't. The basic emotion of empathy towards others is usually extended to the helpless (in some form or another), and pose no threat.

 

[alcea rosea]

Who is prone to these feelings and duties towards certain other individuals? Someone who isn't well grounded or tends to get themselves into hurtful situations and you feel a duty to stick by them even if it gets yourself hurt time and time again. Is this typical of STJs or do most people experience this type of mentality?

I'm not prone to that.
I would say rather that SFJ's or ENFJ's might do that if we look at MBTI types.

 

[Valiant]

I'm not sure it has much to do with types. Are any types more prone to interfere with things? Violence? Generosity? I don't think it can be proven that it is the case.

I believe that it has much to do with what the person in question has experienced him/herself. I have felt powerless and downtrodden at many points in my life, and I just hate people who treat those who are weaker badly.
I think that the fact that my father have abused me mentally and physically until I grew too big to mess with has contributed to this "complex" in me alot. The fact that I was picked on for a couple of years in school when I was little is also a factor.
When I see stuff like that going down the adrenaline starts pumping and I generally get into a fight and kick his/their ass(es).

Cause and effect.

 

[Valiant]

I call it a complex because of the getting yourself hurt aspect, despite the fact that it'd probably be in one's best interest to get out, yet they don't. The basic emotion of empathy towards others is usually extended to the helpless (in some form or another), and pose no threat.

I very seldom get hurt, I on the other hand hurt those responsible I choose my time of attack. You know, ENTJ's.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

It doesn't have to do with type because type doesn't CAUSE stuff. It's descriptive. In other words, you've got it backwards: it's people who constantly defend others who will label themselves as "F" of "NF" based on their behavior, not the other way around.

 

[Valiant]

It's true that a person should be judged by his or her actions, but where did you get the idea that people who stand up for others would call themselves F or NF?

 

[pure_mercury]

I have this to an extent and usually toward females. I am a pretty classic ESFJ (albeit with my N and T working decently, I think). That would seem to make sense typologically, but I am sure it can be found throughout the types, to greater and lesser extents.

 

[moonlit_reveries]

my friends call it the hero complex but whatever. it's one of my biggest downfalls.

unhealthy Fe...

Same here, even though the positive effects of Fe can be tremendous, Fe also gets me into trouble.
Fe doesn't even have to be that unhealthy to start displaying this IMO. I think it's natural for Fe to want to help and reach out to someone in need.

I'm withdrawing from one of those situations mentioned in the OP, and I still have mixed feelings about it and feel guilty for letting the other person down, and part of me still wants to be there to help even though I feel beyond drained (and that's the reason I'm withdrawing in the first place,)

 

[ceecee]

Who is prone to these feelings and duties towards certain other individuals? Someone who isn't well grounded or tends to get themselves into hurtful situations and you feel a duty to stick by them even if it gets yourself hurt time and time again. Is this typical of STJs or do most people experience this type of mentality?

I don't know if it has a lot to do with type and it seems to be evenly divided between males and females too. Personally I can't understand this type of behavior. I am not responsible for someone else's self-esteem and self-worth. I will help but not if I feel the person is only going to squander it.

 

[Totenkindly]

...Not that the SP Artistians and us Rationalist wouldn't also do the same from time to time... As Jesus said... if the situation fits the bill.

Yup. Certain types might be more inclined, but savior complex is also impacted by birth position (the eldest will do it out of responsibility, younger ones might do it out of passion for "what's right" etc...) and family environment/influence.

(Situations where the child had to enable/"parent" the parent to survive often result in savior complex later in life as well.)

But when i was growing up, the only fights I remember getting into were in defense of someone else. And I watched other diverse types stick up for the low people on the pole too. I think anyone who can empathize with people who are excluded or suffering some hardship will want to help that person and sometimes not know where to draw a line. it takes a strong person to allow others to suffer if it is in the sufferer's best interest long-term.

 

[CzeCze]

Old thread but --

Yeah, I can see male INFJ getting this quite bad.

 

[01011010]

I don't understand this complex. I would only help the people very closest to me, and only if they are going to help themselves. Otherwise, it's like enabling them to continue the bad habits that get them in trouble in the first place. You can't save someone from themself.