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  1. #21
    Senior Member Circle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfa View Post
    I try to accept myself as a person who aims self-improvement, but one who may make mistakes in the way. I accept my mistakes as a way to learning how to be better. I couldn't learn without experimenting, and mistakes are part of experimenting. And I accept that, trying not to blame myself and trying not to feel bad for missing sometimes. I don't see it as contradictory. :]
    I agree with you. Acceptance is a necessary part of moving forward. Until you accept yourself and what you've done and what's been done to you, you may have trouble forgiving, or letting go of it, which is really what forgiveness is about in the first place. Letting go.

    Love and acceptance can be useful in self-improvement, which I parse as "being happy" and learning how to live this life.

  2. #22
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raindancing View Post
    I don't know if it would be even possible to know the ultimate truth... or even if you did, how would you know you know it?
    Did I just claim there was an ultimate truth?

    I don't know about need. I am thinking about intellectual honesty. "a virtuous disposition to eschew deception when given an incentive for deception."
    Self deception, in this instance. In many ways, the most tempting thing.
    Perhaps to me this is a need. Not much makes me more sick than to find I've been laboring under self deception.

    I have only tried dream analyzing in a very superficial way, but it is intriguing. Are there any resources you'd recommend?
    i didnt say that you claim there is some ultimate truth, just said that its not necessary to know it in order to improve. cuz "And don't think you know the ultimate truth either."
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  3. #23
    Junior Member Psychroma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    How do you balance "self-improvement" vs. "accepting who you are"? Is there a point past which either of these is counterproductive/destructive, and you just should do each one to a moderate but not extreme degree?

    How do the two not contradict each other?
    "Self-improvement" and "accepting who you are" don't necessarily contradict each other; in my opinion, they can coincide quite nicely. I suppose it can go the other way though, and as everything, it's grounded in perception.

    For example, someone has the innate or genuine will to overcome what they perceive as a "flaw." This sense of dissatisfaction and desire for improvement manifest themselves through traits, or, who someone "is." Of course, one would have to define who they are for this apply. I would think a need for improvement partially constitutes a person's self-perception, but I'm sure that's debatable.

    As others have mentioned before, it can also be used as an excuse to continue negative behaviors, which can also be interpreted as being complacent/lazy. These are traits too, and for consistency with my previous suppositions, who someone "is." In the end, a desire for self-improvement is a part a person's identity.

    Personally, how I balance these is that, if I want to improve myself, then I will. If I feel no need to, then I won't. I haven't concretely defined flaw anyhow, and there a number of traits I have society perceives as defects, but I'm proud of. The first trait that comes to mind is shyness that borders social anxiety. Perhaps this "flaw" has ingrained in my life for so long to the point that I see it as an inseparable part of who I am, and so ridding it would be akin to destroying a part of me.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
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    Accept your flaws - NEVER!
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

  5. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by earthtrekker1775 View Post
    Accept your flaws - NEVER!
    Yeah you should. You can take advice from some professionals. There are plenty of ebooks for you out there. You just need to know what's the right for you. If you dont check out this website I hope it will help you: http://low-selfesteem.com/

    Good luck

  6. #26
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by psixanwmalos View Post
    Yeah you should. You can take advice from some professionals. There are plenty of ebooks for you out there. You just need to know what's the right for you. If you dont check out this website I hope it will help you: http://low-selfesteem.com/

    Good luck
    You picked this as a first post?:yim_rolling_on_the_
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

  7. #27
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by earthtrekker1775 View Post
    Accept your flaws - NEVER!
    INTJ?

    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  8. #28
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychroma View Post
    The first trait that comes to mind is shyness that borders social anxiety. Perhaps this "flaw" has ingrained in my life for so long to the point that I see it as an inseparable part of who I am, and so ridding it would be akin to destroying a part of me.
    I can relate to this... Sometimes I can't imagine myself not being a dorky, obsessive-compulsive neurotic without being someone else. Which just feeds into my low self-worth. Bleh. :/
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  9. #29
    figsfiggyfigs
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    How can I accept it when there are no flaws?

  10. #30
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    How can I accept it when there are no flaws?
    Well yes, part of the question is deciding whether something's "flawed" in the first place. Another struggling self-debate... Others are saying that limit is something like "When it starts to hinder other parts of life."
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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