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  1. #1
    Senior Member Turtledove's Avatar
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    Default Shame & Vulnerability

    I found this youtube video on my facebook page one day from someone and I thought what she talks about as well as research is very interesting.

    Save Thundercats 2011 petition. Because we do what we can. HO!!!:
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    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    actually watched this few days ago and was thinking of posting it. i dont remember exactly what she said(and v´cba to watch it again), so cant really reply anything other than that people should watch this
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  3. #3
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    This was posted and discussed in another thread, where I made the following comments:

    Presentations or essays like this frustrate me, because I can understand what they are saying on one level, but then am usually left clueless as to what to do about it. There always seem to be assumptions, too, or at least undefined terminology. Brown starts with the idea of connection, which she never defines, and the assumption that we all need/want it, without justifying or qualifying this (e.g. do we all need the same amount or kind of connection?) She explains her idea of shame, worthiness, and authenticity a bit better.

    The central idea of vulnerability, though, is never really defined. The word "vulnerable" is based on the latin word for wound, suggesting it is the ability to be wounded, or hurt. The examples Brown uses to illustrate it seem to focus on risk. In most areas of life, however, people are encouraged to avoid hurt and to carefully control risk. We wear our seatbelts and install smoke alarms; we buy insurance and invest for our retirement; we make up wills; we buy generators or stockpile supplies. Brown doesn't seem to think we need to exercise similar caution when it comes to the area she is discussing, however (emotions? relationships? not sure even what to call it). Maybe this is why advice like hers tends to come across as unworkable.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

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    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I thought it was pretty clear. The key to living whole-heartedly is being willing to be vulnerable.

    How to get there? If you have a hard time being vulnerable, work on it. Ask yourself why you are afraid to be vulnerable. If you cannot find your own answers, talk to a close friend who is a good, thoughtful listener, or get therapy.
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  5. #5
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I thought it was pretty clear. The key to living whole-heartedly is being willing to be vulnerable.

    How to get there? If you have a hard time being vulnerable, work on it. Ask yourself why you are afraid to be vulnerable. If you cannot find your own answers, talk to a close friend who is a good, thoughtful listener, or get therapy.
    Yes.

    If you're not positioned where you could get hurt, you're also not positioned where you could feel joy.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  6. #6
    Senior Member Turtledove's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I thought it was pretty clear. The key to living whole-heartedly is being willing to be vulnerable.

    How to get there? If you have a hard time being vulnerable, work on it. Ask yourself why you are afraid to be vulnerable. If you cannot find your own answers, talk to a close friend who is a good, thoughtful listener, or get therapy.
    I approve this message.
    Save Thundercats 2011 petition. Because we do what we can. HO!!!:
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  7. #7
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    This is going to sound like a really dumb question, but I'm going to ask anyway: how does one be vulnerable? Exactly what kind of hurt is one remaining open to? If I got up tomorrow and decided, "I'm going to try to be vulnerable today", what would I actually do or change? This is part of the frustration of advice videos like this. The theory might make sense, but I am left clueless as to how to put it into practice.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  8. #8
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Not sure if you are asking me, but I just hopped on, so I guess I'll *try* to answer.

    Being vulnerable is putting yourself out there. Taking the chance on being rejected. Not being afraid to make mistakes.

    Maybe you already do this. If so, then you are probably living life whole-heartedly, as the researcher said. If you don't do these things, perhaps you should, to live life more fully.

    If you can't do these things, then it might behoove you to find out why.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  9. #9
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Not sure if you are asking me, but I just hopped on, so I guess I'll *try* to answer.

    Being vulnerable is putting yourself out there. Taking the chance on being rejected. Not being afraid to make mistakes.

    Maybe you already do this. If so, then you are probably living life whole-heartedly, as the researcher said. If you don't do these things, perhaps you should, to live life more fully.

    If you can't do these things, then it might behoove you to find out why.
    I'll take answers from anyone. I'm not usually afraid to make mistakes. I don't make too many, and when I do, it is usually a worthwhile learning experience. If I never made any, I would feel I was being complacent, too conservative, not pushing the envelope enough. I can't say I encounter too many opportunities for outright rejection, though. Someone might reject some idea I have or statement I make; but I don't take that as a rejection of me. As for "putting yourself out there", I'm not sure what you mean. I am generally assertive in going after what I want, speaking my mind, and contributing where I think I can help. I can't say I ever really feel vulnerable, though, and it has been very seldom that I have been hurt (I assume not physical injury).
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  10. #10
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I'll take answers from anyone. I'm not usually afraid to make mistakes. I don't make too many, and when I do, it is usually a worthwhile learning experience. If I never made any, I would feel I was being complacent, too conservative, not pushing the envelope enough. I can't say I encounter too many opportunities for outright rejection, though. Someone might reject some idea I have or statement I make; but I don't take that as a rejection of me. As for "putting yourself out there", I'm not sure what you mean. I am generally assertive in going after what I want, speaking my mind, and contributing where I think I can help. I can't say I ever really feel vulnerable, though, and it has been very seldom that I have been hurt (I assume not physical injury).
    I guess there are just times in life where one is presented with challenges or new experiences. Living whole-heartedly means making the most of life and taking chances, which makes you vulnerable. It's not like you consciously try to make yourself vulnerable. It's that you don't not do something that might make you more vulnerable than you're used to. I think it's akin to "letting go" perhaps.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


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