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  1. #11
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    just good at what I do and I take pride in it... nothing out of the ordinary!

    hmmm... flattery... but I don't WANT to scare anyone!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #12
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Outside the work stuff, how do people respond to you? Are you different? I noticed that my post wasn't even about anything professional, but friends or strangers. As far as work settings go, I don't understand it either. I've never minded asking for help or seeing someone's expertise.

  3. #13
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I'm pretty antisocial when not at work... though I know of people who are scared of me out of work as well
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #14
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I have been told that it's a mix of competence, comfort anywhere and unwillingness to take bullshit from anyone, no matter how "important" they may be that leads people to be intimidated... that and a fondness for black eyeliner!

    why would people be afraid of someone who's good at what they do though? wouldn't you want to figure out how they do it instead?
    Hmmm, that is a little odd.

    Do you work in a very competitive environment? Sometimes that can make people be threatened by the competency of others. Or perhaps they don't feel they can relate to you because you seem too strong and secure about such things, where they feel uneasy. I can sometimes be intimidated by people who seem totally confident and unfazed by anything, because I must seem useless in comparison. Also some people read assertiveness as aggression and that can make interactions feel like borderline conflict for them - which a lot of people don't cope well with. It can also make people fearful that your unwillingness to take any crap, means they may potentially be in the firing line at some point.

    I suppose sometimes people feel intimidated by what they perceive you might do, rather than what you actually do.
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    - Emily Bronte

  5. #15
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Hmmm, that is a little odd.

    Do you work in a very competitive environment? Sometimes that can make people be threatened by the competency of others. Or perhaps they don't feel they can relate to you because you seem too strong and secure about such things, where they feel uneasy. I can sometimes be intimidated by people who seem totally confident and unfazed by anything, because I must seem useless in comparison. Also some people read assertiveness as aggression and that can make interactions feel like borderline conflict for them - which a lot of people don't cope well with. It can also make people fearful that your unwillingness to take any crap, means they may potentially be in the firing line at some point.

    I suppose sometimes people feel intimidated by what they perceive you might do, rather than what you actually do.
    it's definitely a competitive environment, though I've always been one of the first to reach out and help people who are struggling... as long as they have shown that they are willing to learn. I call people out on their bullshit whenever they do something stupid when they KNOW better than to do that, but I'm rather forgiving with new people who don't know any better... it's better to teach them so that they don't do it again than to yell at them when they don't know...

    really... I haven't figured out something that seems like a sensible reason to me, though apparently comfort and competence can be intimidating according to others
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    over the past few months, I've been described by various people (especially coworkers... even ones visiting our office on business trips!) as intimidating... even by people who like me... I really have no clue why
    i see...

    are you a hippy-haired 6'4 heavyweight man with a heavy accent physically different in apearance from the main ethinicty of the local population walking around with a chinese looking 5 years old boy and a petite blond woman who looks like a teenager (even though she is in her mid 20's) and wears too much makeup?

    ...cause apearently that will do it... learned it the hard way.

  7. #17

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    If people see you calling others out on their BS and if you're even sometimes fairly blunt about it, that alone will intimidate loads of people, whether they admire you or your work or not. Sometimes just being blunt sends intimidating messages to a vast population that seems to recoil from any sort of confrontation. I don't know the first thing about you, but if you continually receive feedback that you're intimidating then I can only guess that you're very outspoken in a way that makes people uncomfortable. Whether that's good or bad I don't know.
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  8. #18
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I AM blunt about things most of the time... but I'm as nice about being blunt as possible

    and even though I'm apparently intimidating, I'm also apparently well liked... suppose I can't be too upset about that
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #19
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I'm tall, I have a deep voice, I look independent (far more than I am in reality) and I am reportedly intelligent = intimidating
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  10. #20
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    I'd imagine it has to do with the certain forwardness you tend to possess with your communication. Great fun but others may find it difficult to reply on level terms.

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