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  1. #41
    Member tine5's Avatar
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    I find it too hard to lie to people unless I barely know them.
    Best thing:
    Know when it's good to avoid the truth, but tell it otherwise. If you have to lie then make sure you tell a half truth.

  2. #42
    Glycerine
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    I typically tell the truth but sometimes will overemphasize the positive and downplay the negative to keep it in my favor. I lie so little that even if I am a bad liar, people usually believe me when I lie because they don't expect me to lie.

  3. #43
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Smile Telling Truth to Power

    Telling the truth is not the problem. The problem is telling truth to power.

    For when we tell truth to power, power will retaliate.

    We have now a strategy for avoiding the retaliation and that is the Anonymous Movement.

    You know the Anonymous Movement, you have seen them in their Guy Fawkes masks. The purpose of the masks is to make it impossible for power to target our leaders.

    And as you know, it is a very old tactic used by Spartacus and the slaves in 72 BC and now used by us in 2012 AD.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Lying is the best way to tell the truth.


  5. #45
    violaine
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    It's just easier in the long run to tell the truth. It makes for a more streamlined life when one's energy and attention is focused on things other than keeping secrets. Also, it feels like standing up for oneself... In a "this is me, take it or leave it" sense.

    I don't really get offended over people lying to me. Especially once I've had a bit of time to process it. Eh, I'm sure they have their reasons. I alter my level of interaction with people who aren't a net positive in my life though.

    Not to say I haven't or don't lie. I used to when people asked me about certain things that I considered to be none of their business. Now I just decline to answer questions that are too personal. I don't usually feel insulted about questions. No one is going to automatically know where my boundaries are if they remain unexpressed.

  6. #46
    garbage
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Man, this exactly. I'd say that the more people 'come out of the closet' on various issues, the more we'll all see that 'normal' (functional, etc.) people have plenty 'wrong' with them--which makes those 'wrong' things seem less detrimental or scary, which would in turn reduce the social stigmas that keep these traits hidden, which would in turn enable more people to 'come out of the closet,' and so on and so forth.
    This is an ideal that I set for myself. Until I have the strength to fully embrace this, though, I've got some pretty good cover-up stories.

    For example, I get migraines and I'm on crazy meds--so as far as work is concerned in general, all of my medication experimentations and my illnesses are due to migraines. It's a great cover-up.

    "Welp, my new migraine medication had some sedation side effects, so I didn't come in until 3 pm "

    However, some of my 'underlings' do know the truth about my crazy meds. They're undergoing psychiatric help as well, and they need to know the truth--that people 'above them' don't 'have it all together' and that they shouldn't be ashamed of what they're going through. I prioritize them finding their way in this world and realizing that some people can be trusted.. over the potential for rumors to leak out about me.

    I'm also good at helping other people devise very good, thorough cover-up stories and to otherwise help them lie. This has come in handy more than once, and it's taught me firsthand that telling the truth isn't always necessarily the right thing to do.

  7. #47
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Good for you. It feels good to be congruent! I believe it is impossible to tell the truth because we "tell ourselves a story" about who we are/who others are that does not match how they or even we /feel/ about ourselves.

  8. #48
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    What if the person is really asking a question that's different than the question that they verbalized? The notion of 'telling the truth' seems to change.

    If there is a choice, do you answer the question that they have in their head, or do you answer the question that they have posed in front of you? It seems to me that one would want to do the former even if it means 'lying' with respect to the question that they have actually asked you.

    Granted, this means that you'd better be damn sure that you know what question they have in their heads or what they're after, or that you can probe them and ensure that you can figure out what that question is..

    These verbalized questions may be different than the actual 'in the head' questions because of insecurities, fears, politeness, not wanting to be a bother, and plain ol' human nature.

    For example, you're at a carnival with someone. They're enjoying themselves, and you still kinda want to stick around but you are also sort of tired. They are empathic and they sense that you're getting tired, but they would also believe that your being tired would make you want to go home.

    So, they ask, "Are you tired?" Let's treat it as a yes/no question, because it's fun that way. Chances are that if you were to say "yes," they'd take it to mean that you want to leave, so you would opt to say "no." Are you being dishonest by saying "no," or are you being truthful with respect to what you really believe that they're asking?

    Let's allow nuances. "Yeah, but I'm having fun" or "Yeah, but not enough to go home" even seem like the other person may feel undue sympathy for you--that they would wind up ignoring the fact that you would want to keep going. This reeks of 'not trusting the other person with what you might say,' but I haven't explored it very much.

    Ah, communication. I guess this would be considered one of those white lies?

  9. #49
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    I think the most important thing is to be honest with yourself - and not just in terms of what can be proven or otherwise, but emotionally honest. Don't lie to someone else so you don't have to confont yourself.
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