User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 49

  1. #11
    curiouser and curiouser bluestripes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    MBTI
    Fi
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    197

    Default

    my principle right now is to tell the truth wherever possible. if i feel i can't, or am going to hurt someone where i should not, then shut up. (there are situations where one does have to mention unpleasant facts because it is going to be more useful in the long term, those are different)

    i used to lie a lot as a defensive mechanism. i was afraid of someone overreacting to something i would say or do and then myself overreacting to them and feeling scarred, so i would hide, evade and tell outright lies. i've grown to be very good at that. i think this is the reason why i am so sick of it. i would rather not have to do this again if it can be helped.
    "i love deadlines. i like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (c) douglas adams

    "there are only two ways to live your life. one is as though nothing is a miracle. the other is as though everything is a miracle." (c) albert einstein

    "if only i could grow with my eyes - like these leaves - into the depth" (c) sergei esenin

    "god is in the details" (c) proverb

  2. #12
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I don't lie. This habit is so bad that if my brain accidentally mixes up a fact as I tell it, the incident haunts me for quite some time. Yet at the same time it is awkward to go back and fix the things I have said.

    For instance, a while back I was speaking to someone about books we have read. I stated that I had read Anna Karenina and recommended it. The conversation had been moving pretty quickly so I didn't have the chance to go back and state that I had only read a portion of the book, then watched the movie.

    For three days after the incident I tried to think of a way to re-initiate the conversation and make the correction before I finally realized, most people probably don't care about something like that, and let the idea go.

    So you can see not only am I a terrible liar, but a lie also haunts me. I feel like if I tell the truth, nothing can ever come back to bite me when I am least expecting it (I already told you!). I also hate when people lie to me, because I end up having to deal with situations that don't actually exist. I think the world would be a fantastic place if people learned not only to tell the truth, but become more accepting of different people's perception as well.

    Because that isn't the case, I just keep most of my thoughts to myself, and seek out people with whom I can be honest with.
    Not that you'd care or anything, but this has changed my perception of you considerably for the better. It's kind of adorable.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #13
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    Yin
    Enneagram
    One sx/sp
    Posts
    13,911

    Default

    I try not to lie. Sometimes I do. The lies are almost invariably about rather important things and they just happen in the flow of conversation. Odds are it means I'm disinterested and I'm just taking perfunctory action to keep the conversation going. In some cases I will lie in response to something big, which may require may to backtrack when I realized the person just said something really important. I might tell them to back up and correct myself. It's never really a deliberate thing.

    In the deliberate realm, I very rarely lie. Philosophically, I'm usually against lying, I am neurotically discomforted by lying, and I'm just a terrible liar anyway so it would be kind of pointless. One time I had a paper to turn in for my English class, it was about logic. As I usually do, I wrote beyond my page limit and then had to cut it down. Even after so much word and sentence trimming, I was still barely over, so I modified my definitions of inductive and deductive logic in a way that made them briefer but technically false. I must have spent hours looking for an alternative the day before I had to turn it in, and I was incapable of sleeping that night. I felt horrible. I almost told my professor that I was being misinformative at that part, but at that point the paper was already done, so it was kind of pointless.

    I also remember telling a shop owner that I'd return to a store that I ultimately never returned to. It still makes me feel like crap.

    I think I do have a bad habit of concealing information at times when I should correct people. Not lying per se, but kind of deceptive. It's just because people tend to react so badly to being corrected, but that's really no justification and I should probably get over it.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  4. #14
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTP
    Posts
    16

    Default

    Only an honest man lives without fear.... random famous quote by google it

  5. #15
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,490

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    I try not to lie. Sometimes I do. The lies are almost invariably about rather important things and they just happen in the flow of conversation. Odds are it means I'm disinterested and I'm just taking perfunctory action to keep the conversation going. In some cases I will lie in response to something big, which may require may to backtrack when I realized the person just said something really important. I might tell them to back up and correct myself. It's never really a deliberate thing.
    What do you consider important? Are the lies like that you like Hugh Grant movies, or are they like you have a chronic disease?

  6. #16
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,439

    Default

    I tell the truth by default, mostly because I was born without a bullshitting gene. i.e. it doesn't even cross my mind to lie and/or mess with people, a lot of the time. And even if I did lie, I would not be able to think of more details to fill out the lie, quickly enough. (Which is what I mean by "I was born without a bullshitting gene" -- keeping and maintaining lies is hard for me and my brain is sluggish about it, so I don't even bother.)

    Now, of course, I've built a moral code based around my inability to lie effectively (and my resulting expectation that everyone else function that way too ), and so I do tell the truth no matter what. Like @Coriolis and others, I find ways around flat-out telling the truth when it could hurt my personal relationships, but I'm not that good at maneuvering around tricky questions, or redirecting conversations; what I am good at is being vague, and omitting information. (e.g. someone asks me what I did over the summer, I say that I went to visit family in the South, which is true, but I don't say that I went there to help my mom and her family deal with the loss of my grandmother, and to help them deal with selling the family home, which was their only connection to the town they grew up in.) So, a lot of my friends think they know me very, very well, because I will answer even the deepest questions -- but the thing is, I answer those deep questions in brief Te summaries, and I'm not going to bring up other deep topics of my own accord.

    EDIT: I also relate to @ThatGirl's story about Anna Karenina.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #17
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Socionics
    INTp
    Posts
    74

    Default

    It takes a lot to never lie at all. Frankly, I'm skeptical about anyone who claims they never lie. After all, from the beginning society asks us to constantly use white lies whenever there's a risk of disappointing or shocking someone.

    When a female friend asks you "Did I gain weight?" and you're sure she did, will you really be honest and tell that to her?
    When a male friend asks you "How was I?" after doing a horrible speech before 20 people, will you really be honest and tell him he was bad?
    When someone is interested in you but you are not, will you really be honest from the start instead of letting him suffer from false hope for days, weeks or months?

    If you're honest even in those cases, I'm still skeptical but I admire you if it's true.

    I've recently decided I would feel better if I never lied at all. But I've found lying has become part of my life. Besides, to me, telling the truth isn't the same as "never lying". If I feel an information I have is related to someone, and I don't tell them this information, then I'm not telling the truth.

  8. #18
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I try never to lie, by which I mean say something that I know to be untrue. I don't find this too difficult; in fact, I find it hard to say something false. On the other hand, I am very good at not answering, giving partial answers, or steering the conversation away from the question so it just gets forgotten. I won't lie, but I freely withhold the truth if it serves my purposes.
    Would you consider this sort of behavior "lying by omission"?

  9. #19
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Posts
    4,915

    Default

    Have i lied? Of course. Sometimes i keep my mouth shut to avoid conflict but at other times i can be so incredibly blunt/honest.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  10. #20
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,582

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nales View Post
    When a female friend asks you "Did I gain weight?" and you're sure she did, will you really be honest and tell that to her?
    When a male friend asks you "How was I?" after doing a horrible speech before 20 people, will you really be honest and tell him he was bad?
    When someone is interested in you but you are not, will you really be honest from the start instead of letting him suffer from false hope for days, weeks or months?

    If you're honest even in those cases, I'm still skeptical but I admire you if it's true.

    I've recently decided I would feel better if I never lied at all. But I've found lying has become part of my life. Besides, to me, telling the truth isn't the same as "never lying". If I feel an information I have is related to someone, and I don't tell them this information, then I'm not telling the truth.
    I won't claim that I never lie, but I would in fact tell the truth in situations like those you describe. If I could really tell that a friend had gained weight, I would say so if asked. If I felt the need to mitigate potentially hurt feelings, I would do it in another way. As for the speech, I have been known to criticize in such cases without being asked, so if someone does ask, I take it as license to be especially thorough (though hopefully constructive).

    Yes, lying and not telling the truth are not the same. One is an action, and the other is inaction. Relevance to the other person is beside the point. If you withhold information you know to be correct, you are "not telling the truth", but that is not lying, it is not saying anything. I often tread the middle ground, saying only what truths I am willing to share.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    Would you consider this sort of behavior "lying by omission"?
    Only if the omission implies its opposite. If the boss calls and asks who else is at work today, and I answer "Bob and Sue", this implies anyone not mentioned is not at work. If I know Anne and Jack are also in, my response would be a lie. If Bob asks what I did over the weekend and I mention going hiking, but not several other things I did, this is not a lie (assuming I really did hike). He has no expectations of what I did, and no need to know more than I want to share.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

Similar Threads

  1. tell the truth
    By prplchknz in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 09-21-2012, 08:14 AM
  2. What causes people to tell the truth?
    By xisnotx in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 10-18-2011, 08:11 PM
  3. Telling children the truth.
    By Magic Poriferan in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: 11-02-2010, 05:47 AM
  4. I will never tell the truth
    By prplchknz in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 08-08-2010, 02:44 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO