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  1. #1
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Default What is the difference between being driven and being desperate?

    I once read somewhere that what we cling to slips away from us. That had something to do with desperation. But, on the on the other hand, isn't that what drive us too?....Being driven and ambitious to achieve something? Where do we draw the line between desperation, which is seen as something bad in our society, and drive which is seen as something good in our society?

    Sorry if this is worded badly. It's just a thought I had.

  2. #2
    Senior Member wildflower's Avatar
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    i think what we are driven by can be either good or bad, or healthy or unhealthy, motivations. it is a common scenario for some men who were never approved of by their fathers to be very driven in their careers. they are driven not by their own passion but by a need to gain approval by their fathers, or later society, once they succeed. it would be much healthier to be driven by a passion and love for what they do. it's the same with relationships. a woman desperate to marry will drive men away vs. a woman who enjoys being with a particular man because she genuinely cares about him. both scenarios i've mentioned are stereotypes but they do happen.

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    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Desperation is a condition where you fear loss of something which you believe you are losing. Drive is the desire and determination to attain.

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    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    Desperation is a condition where you fear loss of something which you believe you are losing. Drive is the desire and determination to attain.
    It may be something that you don't already have yet but you want it... desperately.

    When are you desperate and pathetic, and when are you a confident, ambitious, go -getter?

    It's confusing to me!

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    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    It may be something that you don't already have yet but you want it... desperately.

    When are you desperate and pathetic, and when are you a confident, ambitious, go -getter?

    It's confusing to me!
    How low will the individual stoop, to hold or attain this?

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    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    How low will the individual stoop, to hold or attain this?
    I don't know. There are always (or supposed to be) trade off's that make this hard to discern. Maybe it's subjective according to a person's comfort level.

  7. #7
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    It may be something that you don't already have yet but you want it... desperately.

    When are you desperate and pathetic, and when are you a confident, ambitious, go -getter?

    It's confusing to me!
    I think someone is "driven" if they have a compulsion to do something. What they are driven towards could be good or bad though usually the implication is that it is positive. There is an urgency to an extreme and possible recklessness associated with desperation.

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    On a personal level I think it's the ability to maintain a certain tension needed to achieve a goal while not letting it spill out in needless emotional display.

  9. #9
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Drive can be related to a sense of self that feels empowered to contribute in some unique way. Ideally a person is energized by something that is interesting to them and they are doing the thing that makes them happy.

    It can be an expression of desperation if the person could not deal with failure. If a sense of self is so connected to "winning" that they are driven by fear of losing, then it can become unhealthy. I also think that obsession with money can connect into unhealthy fear much more quickly than a focus on contributing to the world in some way.
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    They seem to be seperate things. Desperation being an all out emotional state centered around a helpless urgency, whereas drive is all about a fierce yet steady push forward.

    For example, I am driven as all hell generally, but right now, due to my circumstances, I'm getting a bit desperate for progress. A driven person, I suppose, could grow desperate to succeed. Which is not a good thing for many reasons.

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