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  1. #41
    curiouser and curiouser bluestripes's Avatar
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    re: anger -

    i am divided about that. on one hand, i would be inclined to agree with @shortnsweet about anger not (normally) being catharthic. for one, it is difficult to get rid of completely - the more i try to express it, the more appears to remain. when it does subside, it leaves me exhausted and feeling as if i had dirtied myself somehow. perhaps it is the guilt that comes from knowing that i'd taken it out on someone else - when this does happen - or from the anger itself being potentially self-destructive.

    during my angry spells, i try to stay in a peaceful environment whenever possible, because this helps me calm down sooner, and limit my contact with others to a minimum (unless i know the person's presence is going to have a soothing influence on me - i have a few friends like that). this reduces the chances of letting off steam at the expense of someone who has nothing to do with my mood. i have seen too much of this while growing up and i know from first-hand experience how devastating this can be for all the parties involved, so i try as much as i can to avoid doing the same to others.

    on the other hand, i agree with @EJCC's distinction between unproductive anger, which can permanently sour or ruin one's relationships with other people and doesn't lead to any constructive solutions, and productive anger, which causes one to emerge from one's shell and do something, change the situation one is in.

    as unpleasant as my angry moods are, i think they are a positive sign. when somebody is stepping on one's throat and making one feel threatened, anger is a natural response, but i felt none for years. my reaction to having my privacy invaded or being pressured into doing something that did not agree with me was to retreat into myself. i felt hurt, sometimes severely so, but i would bottle it up. the only means i knew of resisting the outside pressure was to be passive and refuse to do, well, anything - both that which i wanted, and what was wanted from me. the fact that i actually feel angry now indicates that i am developing a normal urge to protect myself, at least on a very primal level. true, i and my mom have already resolved our conflict (for the most part), so it feels as if my emotional response was delayed, at best, by three or four years, and, as such, rather pointless. as they say in lithuanian, "like having a spoon handed to you after dinner is over". but i think it is good that it is showing at all. the anger does have to find some way out. and at least i am no longer directing it inward and destroying myself in the process.

    the problem for me is that i haven't reached the stage where the anger turns into action. this does not happen automatically with me. so i'm still in a state of inner semi-paralysis - waiting for the anger to spill over the edge, i suppose, and force me to act more autonomous almost against my will. for someone who is naturally more active it could be very different.
    "i love deadlines. i like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (c) douglas adams

    "there are only two ways to live your life. one is as though nothing is a miracle. the other is as though everything is a miracle." (c) albert einstein

    "if only i could grow with my eyes - like these leaves - into the depth" (c) sergei esenin

    "god is in the details" (c) proverb

  2. #42
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    There is a difference between "expressing" and "experiencing." With regards to experiencing, of the 8 basic emotions (fear, anger, sorrow, joy, disgust, acceptance, expectation, surprise), the one I enjoy experiencing the most is joy and the one I least enjoy experiencing is fear. The reasons should be obvious. As I write this, I realize that I experience fear more than joy. Maybe I should try and do something about that. With regards to expression, I most enjoy expressing surprise when combined with joy. It's a really great combination. The one I like the least is sorrow. Anger isn't great but it seems to come and go quickly. Sorrow lasts.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  3. #43
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    Which emotion is the most satisfying to express for you and why?
    I honestly don't understand the question.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
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    Among outsiders - distrust. To my family I express and share joy.
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

  5. #45
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Elation.

    Because it rocks. That's why.

  6. #46
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Insider Trading

    Quote Originally Posted by earthtrekker1775 View Post
    Among outsiders - distrust. To my family I express and share joy.
    I am a real outsider. I am outside your family. I am outside your kin. I am outside your home. I am outside your town. I am ourside your county. And I am outside your country.

    I am outside your season. I am outside your timezone. I am outside your daylight and outside your moonlight. I am outside your paradigm.

    I am outside your religion. I am outside your politics. I am outside your mind. I am outside your feellings. I am outside your thoughts. I am outside your aesthetics. And I am outside your relationships.

    I am outside the New Age. I am outside astrology. I am outside MBTI.

    Insider trading is completely beyond me.

    So now, do you distrust me?

  7. #47
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    I am a real outsider. I am outside your family. I am outside your kin. I am outside your home. I am outside your town. I am ourside your county. And I am outside your country.

    I am outside your season. I am outside your timezone. I am outside your paradigm.

    I am outside your religion. I am outside your politics. I am outside your mind. I am outside your feellings. I am outside your thoughts. I am outside your aesthetics. And I am outside your relationships.

    I am outside the New Age. I am outside astrology. I am outside MBTI.

    Insider trading is completely beyond me.

    So now, do you distrust me?
    That was an eloquent way to answer your own question.
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

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