What about yourself do you seek to revise?

[CzeCze]

Honestly these are things that have been my self-improvement areas "forever" -- meaning since adolescence. Some are more 'revisions' than others, but like Alcearos said it's general self-improvement. In terms of cognitive functions or hallmarks, in many ways I strive to be more SP, more SJ, and more NT. Because you know, the other NF stuff just comes so easily.

1) Be fearless
2) Be courageous
3) Be honest
4) Be authentic
4) Temper righteousness with compassion (yeah, I'm Moses)
5) Be present
6) Be in the moment
7) Be in my body (5-7 are hippie mantras that I still only get theoretically)
8) Be fully accountable for myself and for my environment
8) Be diligent
9) Be responsible
10) Commit and execute 100%

Practically speaking some of these results would mean:

1) I take better care of myself
2) I'm more consistently groomed (I'm a pretty poor excuse for a high-femme)
3) Keep (consistently) clean house
4) Sustain networks, keep in touch with friends better
5) Be more communicative with the phone, remember birthdays, send cards
6) Get around more (and no, not in a XXX sense)
7) Keep to schedules better
8) Arrive at the decisions faster

I just got off the phone with a friend from college and I realized that I hadn't seen her in years and hadn't spoken to her in the phone in that long either. I'm so out of the loop, I asked her how long she's been with her current gf who I'll be meeting today. In my mind, I was thinking 6 months, but it's been 1 year and 1/2! Wow. My bad. I really need to KIT better. I think that's really the 1 thing that is forefront in my mind to 'revise'. I also have the phone number from someone I met online that I really should call but, I'm like a dude when it comes to calling people. Objectively speaking, yeah I wonder what's wrong with me. 'Cause it's not like I want the (unintended) results from the fruit of my lack of labor.

I think because of some overly P and unregimented ways I keep, I find myself suddenly in slumps or unideal situations, but only after I've sunk into them and am somewhat set in the situation. Like a frog who stays in a slowly boiling pot of water. Some people are able to really assess their situation realistically minute by minute, but I can only see my own from the inside out on an intuitive and emotional level with intermittent bursts of clarity. AKA the "WTF?" moments. It's kind of a handicap IMO.

 

[sriv]

Oh, I forgot. Getting over cynicism. It is a tempting path of loneliness, but not the healthiest one.

 

[Haphazard]

I want to be better able to react and cope. And I'd also like to figure out how to relax...

 

[Anonymous]

I'd like to revise my self image. I'm kind of addicted to hating myself and other people (not everyone, just the ones I particularly don't like).

 

[spartan26]

If I could get that inner voice to not second guess me on every single decision I make three hours after the fact, I'd be so happy. It's mostly w/social settings. 'Oh, I coulda said this, or I shouldn't've said that. Why didn't you do this? You needed to have done that!' Without even meaning to some past relationships --not all romantic-- from like 10-15 years ago will pop into my head and little incidents will sting like they just happened yesterday. I don't know why this is. They're not even things that are that "bad," just that I wish I knew/said/done more w/various people to maintain the relationship.

One thing I had a personal moment of revelation about, just in the past week or so, kinda relates to the above for a source of pain and inner turmoil. I never cognitively realized how much I hate to disappoint people. Sure, I want people to think I'm trustworthy and dependable and all that but I'd really beat myself up over it.

Now I realize how I took responsibility for other people's judgment, more likely perceived judgment that really didn't belong to me. I never really considered it was going on because my expectations of others are fair and just and I'm also very forgiving of others. Just not myself.

I realize how it's held me back over the years. I was never one to do things to gain people's affections or attention, nor one to ever compromise my position to fit or get along. So, I never was able to pinpoint this as an area of need for me. I think it's part of setting better boundaries for myself. Again, it's not like I've ever had the tendency to be a doormat. Just like everyone else I've been used before but that happens and it was never an issue. But in the issue of 'I'd rather have you initially judge (presume or assess) me or my work/ability to be much lower than it is so that I can exceed that level greatly, rather than have you perceive me to be or do much more than I am or can only to meet that expectation or heaven forbid fall below it.'

I definitely don't want to think more highly of myself than I should or start talking a good game and then not produce. It's not that I thought I had a false sense of humility. I could even take the rejection. There'd be this inner sense of shame I think that came w/believing I had done something wrong or hurt someone when not exceeding an expectation.

I don't want to be to the point where I'm an ahole and not care about others. I'm just not going to subversively trounce myself if my letting someone down wasn't from me failing to keep a promise or not holding up to reasonable expectations. This may help w/my overall communication in stating needs, goals, abilities, concerns, shortcomings and the like. It should also allow me to be more comfortable in not being controlled by something I literally had no idea was effecting me let alone be able to address it.

Part of that nagging inner voice was generating from me prolly fearing I did something to let someone down, ie - I did something to hurt someone.