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  1. #1
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Default Intoverts, extroverts and dependency upon social networks or friends

    Are I or E more or less dependent upon their friends and which are more effected by breakdowns in friendships or when friends become hostile and become enemies?

  2. #2
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Just found your thread. It is an interesting question. My guess is that if the friendship is a significant one for the introvert, it may represent a much larger part of their socialization than for an extrovert, so the effect may be more all encompassing. The other side of the issue is that the extrovert is more invested in social relationships and so the loss is significant. Probably in both instances it is the quality of the friendship that determines the degree of loss.

    I'm on the extreme end of introversion and even notice it in my forum interactions in which my posts are too long and too focused on some aspect of a thread and can end up off topic very, very easily because each topic has so many possibilities, and in some cases I think about many of them, but just post on one aspect of it. Introverts, especially if far to that end of the spectrum, can have social rhythm that is really off from the norm and so they don't end up with that many social connections. I don't think people usually become my enemy, but more just drift away or lose interest. I get disappointed about that, but don't have as strong of an expectation to connect in the first place. The downside for strongly introverted people is that when they lose a friend, the inclination is to withdraw from people rather than going out and getting another one.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #3
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    I think it goes deeper than E or I differences. Both of my sisters are extroverted and on the surface, they appear to treat friendships the same. But my oldest sister (ENTJ) has lost friends and was devastated by it. She was all bluster on the outside but on the inside, she was having a hard time being rejected. I saw it but I am the only person that would have picked that up. No way she'd let anyone know she was hurt. People that turned against her didn't live long after they did it. Revenge is in order when people turn on her.

    My other sister (ESFP) will be angry, hurt, and talk about how rotten the other person was. But after she's expressed all of this, she moves on like nothing has happened. She forgets about them, collects others friends/interests, and just does her thing.

    It is my ENTJ sister that is deeply affected by this. I have noticed that despite their extroversion, ENTs do not necessarily let anyone and everyone get close to them. They tend to be highly complex and slow to reveal that complexity. So, it's pretty damaging to her when she lets someone get close and call them a "friend" and then it goes sour. I would also say she is dependent on her social networks. She seems kinda lost without people to boss around and organize things. She swears that she doesn't really like people or want to be around them too much but it's more like she gets tired of people not making sense, blocking goals, or not getting things done. She wants to be around them, socialize, and accomplish things. Unhappy without it.

    My other sister pretty much feels that there are always new and shiny people out there to befriend, so why be broken up about the past? She is very dependent upon how much impact (negative or positive) she has with her immediate audience so she has less attachment to her social network. I don't think she has all that many friends right now.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    You make it sound as if "friends becoming hostile and enemies" is commonplace. That's bizarre. Regardless, I take people on a case-by-case basis. Just because Bill with a big, black, cock does X, doesn't mean anyone else will. Oh, wait. I'm confused, isn't this the racist thread? Hmm . . .

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    You make it sound as if "friends becoming hostile and enemies" is commonplace. That's bizarre. Regardless, I take people on a case-by-case basis. Just because Bill with a big, black, cock does X, doesn't mean anyone else will. Oh, wait. I'm confused, isn't this the racist thread? Hmm . . .
    I am offended by this post.

    Time to doorslam.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Are I or E more or less dependent upon their friends and which are more effected by breakdowns in friendships or when friends become hostile and become enemies?
    I am not particularly dependent on my friends... for... anything. And that is a problem I have. I tend to prefer dealing with everything on my own, by myself. And when I do break down and seek help from others, I really appreciate it.

    I am a friend fo life kind of gal... however, there are times when I have to cut people loose. If they get hostile towards me or get upset, I tend to ignore them and shut down emotionally and I just don't care.

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    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I am offended by this post.

    Time to doorslam.
    I'm offended that you're offended.

    Time to doorslam.

  7. #7
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    I'm offended that you're offended.

    Time to doorslam.
    I'm offended that you have the audacity to be offended by me being offended.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I'm offended that you have the audacity to be offended by me being offended.
    I find this offensive. Are you I or E?

  9. #9
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    I find this offensive. Are you I or E?
    I find it offensive that my I/E preference is under attack and being questioned! I am so glad I doorslammed you.

  10. #10
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Hmm.. I can't say I have any best friends, so I wouldn't know. I might depend on them if I did. I'm not sure. I place myself in the introvert category, but without any of the solid friendships and "go to people". Lots of people kind of drift in and out. Some are cool to talk to or ask something at times, but I wouldn't say I depend on them.

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