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  1. #41
    NPcomplete
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    I'm not very surprised. In those situations, I prefer knowing that the problem will be solved and that the person will try to rectify their behaviour. Apologies can be meaningful if they are meant but they can be empty as well, and there's no real way for me to know except to have faith in the person. However, if the wound is still very fresh, I won't have much faith (if at all) in that person. A desire to change can (perhaps) make me reconsider my stance.

    But, really, it depends.

  2. #42
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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  3. #43
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    I'm one of those that don't like excessive apologizing. I'm also not likely to notice when I need to apologize either. I have no problem admitting that I was wrong and trying to correct things.

    Acceptance of responsibility, genuinely repenting, making restitution...those all point to one thing to me. Mistake? Acknowledge it and then fix it. I need to know what went wrong, express and have an understanding of why it upset me, and why so it can be prevented in the future. That is vital to me. Especially if a little forethought would have prevented the upset in the first place.

    I never liked the forgiveness thing. I think a moderate amount of people hear forgiveness and think it means "free pass".

  4. #44
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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  5. #45
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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  6. #46
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    For me, accepting responsibility is HUGE. I don't want to hear excuses. An excuse just angers me more. It's one thing to give an explanation that there was no intentional bad motive, but it's another to place blame on something/someone else as if you had no control over it. I also like to hear regret expressed so they acknowledge the hurt they have caused (it shows they understand the weight of their actions) & to hear that they will try their best not to repeat the mistake. I know someone is truly sorry if they express that they don't intend to do it again and stick to that promise as best they can. Otherwise, "I'm sorry" just rings hollow.

    I generally don't need acts of restitution or to hear a request for forgiveness. I assume a sincere apology & promise to not do it again is asking forgiveness.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #47
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  8. #48
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  9. #49
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    4 Expressing Regret
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    I appreciate it when people take responsibility for thier actions. I've had so many people in my life who blame others, that it makes me really sit up and notice if some one owns up to thier part.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #50
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    holy shit... the wording on those apologies was so dreadful that I would just assume anyone saying any of those things was mocking me they sound like a therapist wrote them!

    if you want to say that you're sorry to me you'd better prove it... words are cheap and I tend to doubt that anyone's sorry who doesn't actually put some effort into setting things right. If I'm actually sorry I go out of my way to correct the situation to prove that I'm sorry action-wise

    needless to say, words of affirmation are NOT one of my love languages either
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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