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  1. #1
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Default Do men bully each other

    as much as women bully each other?

    Just curious.

  2. #2
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    I think so, but we dont do it quite as maliciously, we turn it into jest and harmless competition usually. It takes the butt-hurt out of the equation when you do it that way.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  3. #3
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I apparently bully men... I've made 2 cry so far this week and I was only being mean to one of the two...

    what the hell men?!?
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #4
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    as much as women bully each other?

    Just curious.
    No. I agree with Billy about the harmless competition, but that's not really bullying on the level that I've seen women do it with each other.

  5. #5
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Why don't men bully each other?

    My suspicion is that it can more quickly turn to physical violence with men, which substantially ups the stakes.

  6. #6
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Why don't men bully each other?

    My suspicion is that it can more quickly turn to physical violence with men, which substantially ups the stakes.
    Thats 1 reason... also men tend to be more cooperative OR competitive since we are supposed to be all logical and junk. Plus I cant think of anyone who would want to know a man who was petty and wanted to hurt peoples feelings and bully the people around them. They exist for sure, but they arent embraced.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  7. #7
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    They probably did, when they were younger. The consequences of physical violence tend to give one pause after a while.
    intp | type 9w1 sp/sx/so

  8. #8
    Senior Member giegs's Avatar
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    There's the odd time when it's appropriate to flare your hood, flex your nuts, etc, but at least in my experience it's extremely rare to have a "put x in his place" situation like women seem so fond of.

    And yea, fighting sucks. You might get hurt and you almost always get in trouble.

  9. #9
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Why don't men bully each other?

    My suspicion is that it can more quickly turn to physical violence with men, which substantially ups the stakes.
    That, and nothing would ever get done if men were constantly bullying each other for status. Once a hierarchy and positions are established there is usually a degree of peace in the land which allows things to function smoothly. Bullying is disruptive to the higher goals, and unless the bully is strong enough to succeed, he's going to get slammed back into his place to a lower station pretty hard. (Either physically, or get kicked out of the group, fired, etc.) There's a higher risk for overt, disruptive bullying with men, I think.

  10. #10
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

    Men and women bully differently.

    Men bully physically, while women bully by social exclusion.

    To deal with a male bully, it is only necessary to stand up to him.

    But if a women complains about social exclusion it only makes it worse.

    And as female bullying operates under the radar, it is eminently deniable, and is invisible to those in authority.

    And the male bully is an individual, while the female bullies are a group. And of course we need a group to effectively socially exclude the victim.

    And female bullying by social exclusion is immediately emotionally painful and does long term emotional damage.

    So women are perennially anxious about being socially excluded, and so to deal with their very real anxiety, in Oz we have created a Minister for Social Inclusion. For every women wants to be socially included and no woman wants to be, the odd girl out*.

    *"The Odd Girl Out - the Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls", by Rachel Simmons.

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