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  1. #61
    figsfiggyfigs
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    This is horrifyingly bad.



    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    OP is an excellent tutorial on how to be unfunny.
    Funniest post in this entire thread.

  2. #62
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    mostly the crude humor turned me off. only 5 really made me laugh.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    5 and 14 were the only two that did anything but make me groan.
    Yeah. I chuckled at 5 (it's not original, but I chuckled), and 14 painted an amusing picture, unexpectedly. Most of the rest I just found sort of juvenile, clumsy, and in a couple of cases, somewhat offensive.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #63
    violaine
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    Didn't find any of these jokes funny. I'm particularly put off by jokes like no 13. I'd be bored if I were watching someone deliver these at a comedy club as a set. (As a reference point, Greg Giraldo was a favorite comedian).

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by yupitsme View Post
    1. My girlfriend mixed up the phone number for her dentist with the number for her gynecologist. Now her vagina has teeth and her breath smells like fish.
    Yes. I think it's just absurd and has a bit of gross-out/shock value to it.

    2. Next time someone asks you how youre doing say "I was better before the murders. Who knew anger management was so unreliable when I skip my meds. Oh well. Did you want to get together in that abandoned warehouse on 5th and 81st? I go there after dark sometimes. If your free, then please, come alone, dont tell anyone, and NO COPS
    Yes, it's ironic. It also has some shock value.

    3. Having sex once a week can improve your immune function by 30 percent. I told my wife "My immune system's low. Assume the position." She said "Youre sick" I said "No but I could be. Bend please. Quick. The sniffles must be stopped"
    It seems kind of cheap. Maybe it could be funny given some context, but it falls flat by itself.
    4. Having a bottomless pit can make you hungry. Having a topless fruit can get you arrested.
    What?

    5. I got a dog for my grandmother. That seems like a fair trade.
    I don't identify with statements like this because I'm not an ageist. Jokes are funnier when they force the listener to use the listener to fill in the blanks about a story or a punch line; the blanks are filled by those who "get it".

    6. I asked my wife "Are you free tonite?" She said "No its gonna cost you"
    Kind of endearing. It didn't make me laugh.
    7. I am trying to teach my dog some tricks but she keeps dropping the cards
    I get it, but it's lame.

    8. My watchdog just watched a burgler take the stereo.
    Lame.

    [QUOTE}9. My wife said "I love you" I thought that was sweet. Turns out I was right. She was talking to the chocolate cake.[/QUOTE]

    Lame.

    10. Hey did you get her number? Yes I did. Well what is it? Six. What is six? How many times she sad no !
    Kind of quirky funny.

    11. I had a minor accident in the car that left skid marks. What on the road? No in my shorts!
    Not funny; I saw it coming.
    12. You might be lonely if you travel just for the airport pat down
    It's kind of lame but I laughed.

    13. Indian girl asks the chief "how do you come up with our indian names?" Chief says when you're born we run out of the tee pee and the first thing we see, thats your name. She says "thank you chief buffalo chip" He says "No problem two dogs humping"
    Made me smile.

    14. My buddy told me he got kicked out of of the hotel for peeing in the pool. I said "whats the big deal, lots of kids pee in the pool." He said "from the fourteenth floor?"
    More of a "WTF?' response than a laugh.

    15. You might be lonely if you ever played leap frog with a unicorn and hoped for an accident
    Just absurd.
    16. My dentist asked me if I wanted my cavity filled. I say yes of course. So he spun me around and shoved a dildo in my ass.

  5. #65
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    A lot of people have voiced their disappointment with the quality of these "jokes," but I'll go one step further and just go ahead and admit that they made me want to die a little bit (not laughing, mind you.)
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  6. #66
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    A lot of people have voiced their disappointment with the quality of these "jokes," but I'll go one step further and just go ahead and admit that they made me want to die a little bit (not laughing, mind you.)
    +1

    These kind of jokes fill me with this weird existential dread. Since a joke deprives the situation of its gravity, an unfunny joke is unforgivable in my opinion. And the jokes weren't even clean or tasteful, so you can't even hide behind that excuse. And then the way you dismissed those "haters" just depressed me even more.

  7. #67
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZPowers View Post
    Gonna jump on the "not my style of humour" train. Not a lot of one liners do it for me (Anthony Jeselnik is a comedian with some fairly funny dark one liners, but even though I find his more skillful and funny than these in general, he's not one of my favorites, and a lot of his humour is bolstered by the character he creates).

    Rather, I like longer bits or examinations into things that poke, prod and analyze an individual idea. I like satire. Sometimes I like absurdism, if done right. I often like dry or slightly uncomfortable humour. Jokes that are crude, violent or gross for no other reason than to be those things don't amuse me. Puns also rarely tickle me, unless they are very clever or subtle.

    Essentially, these jokes are probably too alike to be very useful if you're trying to look at humour on any meaningful level. It feels like you're analyzing taste in music, but only presenting jazz pieces to the people you are surveying. And while some people may disagree, I believe humour and sense of humour is every bit as diverse as the world of music.
    Pretty much this right here.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  8. #68
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    +1

    These kind of jokes fill me with this weird existential dread. Since a joke deprives the situation of its gravity, an unfunny joke is unforgivable in my opinion. And the jokes weren't even clean or tasteful, so you can't even hide behind that excuse. And then the way you dismissed those "haters" just depressed me even more.
    Yes, exactly! That describes it perfectly.

    Quote Originally Posted by yupitsme View Post
    4. Having a bottomless pit can make you hungry. Having a topless fruit can get you arrested.
    You know, because this one makes so little sense, even compared to the others, I've been finding its absurdity increasingly hilarious.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  9. #69
    SingSmileShine
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    14 was my favorite. (:

  10. #70
    Senior Member Owlesque's Avatar
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    5 was mildly clever, and I enjoy plays on words/interpretation.

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